The following is an uncorrected transcript generated by a transcription service. Before quoting in print, please check the corresponding audio for accuracy.
00:00:00 morning everybody uh next week John is going to take us through I think this is going to be quite important apparel some materialism uh Ryan will give us a overview of the book of Ephesians and then William will take us through patience in 22nd October um okay I I want to speak from the heart uh you know every time speakers ask a question everybody very pisy nobody to raise their hands or they say better give a theologically correct answer but I want to ask you from the heart how many of you from the heart not here
00:00:33 agree with this statement I will put out my hand respect is earned quite a lot right it's true isn't it I mean you can be an elder of the church an liim I see the way you behave I don't respect you correct or it could be the opposite like what I uh showed you last week you had the elder or somebody when to sit on the floor you say wow such a servant you respect so the idea of respect being earned is quite common we sort of process that on on the on the Heart level let me give you something else and you tell me whether
00:01:11 you say the same thing again from the heart how many you say love is earned you you you notice no hands are up can you imagine you telling your children uh you have to earn my love but here's a problem isn't it it respect and love go hand in hand and I throw you a question can you really love a person and not respect the person you can you know what we call this we call this a toxic relationship it's true today I want to really speak from the heart this is what happen when you're in abusive relationship when one partner is abusing
00:01:55 the other you love you go into codependency you can't respect because he hits you but you love him all the statistics show you why abused women do not live a relationship because they are in love he hits her he apologize he hits her he apologizes now here a stranger this is statistically proven I love him I don't respect him how about we swap it you find this is much less because if a woman respects a man a woman grows to love a man now this is a complex topic so I told an to switch off the clock at the
00:02:35 back I'm telling you I an today going go log you don't P me I'm going to tell because this is really from the heart Romans says this be devoted to one another in love honor one another above yourself they go as a pair and you find First Peter chapter 2-3 Peter gives a whole discourse on that respect everyone love the Brotherhood fear God is in scripture but probably the most telling text in the relationship between a husband and wife is this notion and we completely miss it you know I I mean we
00:03:18 often talk about love in marriage we seldom talk about respect and I propose to you the Ephesians text is a pair and we want to go to this and I struggled with this because it really spoke to me that I as a husband a lot of things to do so husbands today this is for you H why don't Iman maryb husband okay all right let's come in prayer Lord we ask that you speak to us as husbands and wife this matter and also how respect goes beyond marriage and we ask the questions do we have a right to dis respect
00:04:01 somebody can we say I love you but I don't respect you and that's common but scripture says otherwise so help us to process this in humility in jesus' name amen okay I'm going to wrap through next last week and we really grounding ourselves on last week we talk about submitting to one another there four ways you do it we took it from the Philippians text how the cross teaches us how Jesus say although being in a very nature God he considered equality not something to be grasped with but he humbled himself to the point of death
00:04:35 and so here four four points the either serving yourself thinking of yourself less and others more giving up your rights to align yourself under the other person by person perceiving ourselves as lesser and rank and I I want to ground today's message in this and I I want to suggest in a hierarchy relationship Elder to congregation Direct to staff husband to wife in any position where there's hierarchy I want to add the initiative to do this is by the leader not the follower especially in the marriage
00:05:13 relationship and so once you you you think of relationships whether it's how you treat your maid how you are in the office how you are to your wives husbands how you are to your children the moment you put a picture of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples it gives you a different context and if all of us behave understanding this I think there'll be less quarreling you know and a lot more forgiving and and and Tim Keller picks it up this is a great book of marriage in my opinion the best he says this seek to serve one another in
00:05:46 marriage rather than to be happy that's already completely countercultural and you will discover a new and deeper sense of happiness is great I'm going to pick this up as we go on and we looked at uh Leah a woman where she just wanted to be loved the husband doesn't love her but God loves me and her last son she had before she stopped having children in one round is Judah and from the line of Judah is Jesus I want you to pick up on this because one part of the Cross is telling us the great love he has given us that holds us
00:06:26 through the lonely nights that's one part huh I'm going to take the other part of the go of the Cross tonight today but the first part is try and ask yourself seek the love of God that's so deep so wide so high so that holds you through difficult times now there are three points and they're very they spoke to me a lot number one husbands and wives were created by God to love and respect each other differently this for me was very eye openening I read the text many times it didn't click and following from that love and
00:07:05 respect is a two-way street of submitting to one another that's where we build on the idea of submitting or serving one another and to all of us those of us who are not married single let's take a wider scope and we'll spend time the third one the gospel reminds us Romans just pick it up we need to give up both unconditional love and unconditional respect and you say let's see what God teaches us through his word now let me just make a point how some Christian books on marriages are written and and it could
00:07:41 also be on parenting it could also be on work number one you use engaging stories testim illustrations to connect the reader for example I say I was I went to went to Jo for meeting very stressed I came back M very burdened so I take my wife off a makan my wife tell me for the day but I'm very my mind keep thinking how can I wall up in your no use this story to propose key points that necessary for the relationship to work so halfway my wife says are you listening to me W then I realize the important of listening in
00:08:16 relationship communication you see again throwing a lot of Bible verses scripture tells us to take captive every thought to be slow to speak you know quick to listen just throw a lot Bible verses gives it credibility find some selective Christian sources in fact the pure research shows the 10 reasons why women find it hard in the husband is reason number one you never listen to me you follow then have an appendex dear anim I found your book so good thank you for helping me in my marriage ahow then I come up here and
00:08:57 says I've given up being an elder I start my own Ministry in marriage I go sell a million copies then you can buy my workbook I go on a tour and I tell everybody God called me to this being cynical W this Arnold are very critical let me tell you you look at the critique this is technique you know number one number two I just use stories to hook you in by the way just because I throw a lot Bible verses doesn't make it biblical preparing for this sermon I use a part particular book which had a lot
00:09:31 of strong points and it was written very stylish there was a column with a lot popups you know every page got Bible verse W way you read it w this guy very biblical every point is a popup popup he quoted scripture everywhere and then credible sources look carefully at the stats did it came from the pure research maybe it came from research of 40 people from some unknown University and do you think I would say he dear honor stop trying to be a marriage counselor like you're not trained for this go back to being an
00:10:00 architect do you think I will print that for you now if you think I'm being critical you can see look the book help me my marriage can let me tell you my main concern and it's simply this where is Jesus Christ in the book you see a lot of these books are basically almost like secular books repackaged with Christian content and taking verses to validate it you know there two concerns I have and I'm not saying you shouldn't use it one one where is Christ crucified two and more seriously what if the book helps you
00:10:36 marriage but it doesn't help you become a better disciple of Jesus Christ why I like K's book was he has a chapter called the mission of marriage I they become Silo is self-help you know I'm going to give you an example and then we go to the text this book I'm using I State this you know I I won't I want to refrain from naming the book because the book was quite helpful I think the book was even was also very harmful but it's quite helpful runaway divorce statistics reveal Insanity in Hearts number one divorce statistics
00:11:09 have been stable in fact you check carefully divorce statistics are lower now page 31 It quotes ex as this two a husband is geared to hear the command take charge and fight quite agrea okay quotes 1 Samuel 4:9 then he quotes this a Goodwill husband does not try to displease his wife but to please her as Paul clearly says in 1 Corinthians 7:33 I always urge a wife who's feeling UNL to be slow in asserting a husband is unloving or does not want to love her this is impounding an evil motive Upon A husband which is
00:11:41 too drastic a judgment now everything he said you can't disagree so much here's the problem number one Ecclesiastes 93 has nothing to do with divorce it you go read it is about Sin is about life Under the Sun and and sin makes people mad in their hearts what's it going to do with how do you pluck it like anything also you can pluck now now this one is even worse you know I got the book take charge and fight do you know who said this not the Israelites you know who said it the Philistines said it the
00:12:17 enemy said it even worse he later on takes an example from the book of exter and how the husband kicked out the earlier wife because of this not dis for disrespecting him that's a terrible example is a sin and this is probably worse because if you know First Corinthians 7 with being a good with husband the word doesn't even appear in the text it's about being single for goodness sake so these books can be very dangerous you know so let me pick this up all right now I want to go straight to it husbands
00:12:50 and wives are made to love and respect each other differently so we take the first section how husbands should love their wives husbands s huh h i highlight for you because you're very blur three times Christ love the church Christ Lov the church Christ loves the church husband loves your wife husband wife you know why repeat because you don't listen the wife right correct all the we shake your head oh okay the list very Longo brother agape love that's love of God to the church unconditional chrry of the church are
00:13:29 three ways leading sacrificing carrier I'm not going to go into exes of this because we preached this multiple times give up your life you cannot even give up your remote control don't talk about giving up your life accountable for Spiritual welfare is not the other way that's quite interesting H love her the way he loves his own body this one is quite interesting either is like the way you take care health or is the two becoming one Scholars have few ways looking it no one argues and she's your priority it's
00:13:57 a very high level list okay fair preaches before sermon over can go home here's the next one okay read carefully how should wife love the husband okay we go back the text how should wife L the husband okay where come on how wife left the husband where how wife left the husband where Paul doesn't tell you he doesn't tell you there is not one verse in there they says the wives loves your husband this way have you noticed that so you going to look at other text and the only place you find this in the
00:14:38 whole of New Testament is the book of Titus and Titus isn't even telling the the wives how to do it he's telling how older women should tell the wives you know it's a secondary commandment so I give it to you teach the old woman to Reverend okay then they can urge the younger women to love their husband someone don't need to Young women there is no explicit commandment to women now here's quite interesting the word love their husbands here do you think the same word Paul uses in Ephesians it's not he does not use the
00:15:16 word Agape you know he uses another word called fandos which the root word is fure that's not Agape is intentional now there just as important meaning wives you going to understand your husband's a bit thick so Mary stop poking Imran because why some sometimes don't understand husband KY not saying you and then is telling you you got to be a friend to your husband you could be affectionate now what I'm trying to tell you when scripture tells wives to love the husband is very distinctively different right so that's the text for
00:15:59 you you and in relation between husband and wives mirroring Christ and church the emphasis in Ephesians is therefore on husband loving wife more than wife's loving husband I think no scholar would disagree with that because the word love your wife love your husband is absent in the text all right so if you put it up side by side you find the Commandment of husband very panang one you know husbands better thing not now wives are very short Hallelujah the women should say and very specific all right now okay we
00:16:38 pick now we look at the other side we talk at respects and I want to see whether you notice a pattern how husbands to respect their wies where in the text where T have you noticed the pattern or not it's completely silent he how can pause it we should respect one another m how come he never said it there's context because he's talking about emphasis again you have to go to another part of scripture to talk about respect are this one God are this one husbands you all better listen is found in 1 Peter 3: 1-2 and it's very
00:17:17 enlightening all right let me read it to you H husbands in the same way be considerate as you leave your wives underline the word considerate all wives don't do it talk to me after this treat them with respect then there two reasons given and they're very powerful one as the weaker partner and all the fam start to jump see you Christians you look down on us as we C two as as with view of the and I love this word gracious Gift of Life and then he gives a warning so that nothing will hinder you in prayer so you come on Saturday
00:17:51 morning prayer you don't do this Co your prayer now the word partner the Greek means vessel is not normally seen as physical strength some Scholars says involve emotional vulnerability the point of Peter is it doesn't matter God made them that way and he's making two important points the first you really need to pick up as men you know what's your role you are to protect your wives and all the wife should say hallelujah but it's true you respect your wife by protecting her a man who abandons that abandons being a
00:18:35 husband and a wife must feel protected I give you a simple example this quite terrible about architect so only why understand this why is are like chandeliers you know chandelier very fragile but chandelier they light up your life man good you know what the men are like the men are like the table below the chel because fall the table can catch bar you protect but you kick the table wack the table scratch the table who cares that's the role of you you're supposed to be the tough guy she is fragile but her fragility is her
00:19:18 beauty ah you like that okay so the context of Ephesian doesn't mention it but the new Humanity includes this and they two reasons we giving one protection number two as equal and this really re to be now I tell when I pray hey God did I protect my wife did I equal maybe God say don't pray now you better go repent first it's true it's quite a fascin I I never thought about this verse this way I read it before now how should wife respect a husband only one line should be very short now here's the point Paul doesn't
00:19:59 explain the verse you know why he doesn't explain the verse because he's phrasing the end of it you see verse 33 ends the section basically verse 33 picks up 22-32 each one of you must love his wife the wife must respect a husband it's a pair how do you love your wife he described it before how do you respect your husband he describes it before Paul is replacing the word submission with respect and if you pick up the rest of the Ephesian text when you talk about parents and children slaves and master
00:20:38 you find this word obedience obedience paired with another word honor and respect they are synonymous so this is a long list for husband the list is a very high list for women is a very broad list submit in everything the only C is unto the Lord so I just give you some of the points respect and the Greek word is fatai which is interesting is used to point to God meaning when Paul uses Agape for love and for for respect he's telling you your relationship is beyond both of you is pointing to God meaning
00:21:23 you love her even though she doesn't love you because you love God you respect him even though he doesn't deserve it because you respect and honor God that's the point of the text now if you put it up have you noticed a similarity with the earlier thing on love the list for love for husbands very panang you know very short for wives you notice for respect for wives very panang because he swapping it with Sumit respect is to submit submit is a respect but for husbands it's very short and specific do you notice the pattern
00:22:05 it's a new testament pattern so let me wrap this up for you men are called to love their wives in a very wide and encompassing manner reflecting how Christ loved the church women on the other hand are called to love their husband in very specific ways but being affectionate understanding their needs now that's your ying this is your young you know women women are called to respect their husbands in everything men on the other hand are called to respect the wies in two ways protection and treating them equal
00:22:39 that's your pattern and that's how they work as a pair so let me give you some few things uh one when God gives you a white encompassing Commandment that means that's your area of weakness that means Men actually don't know how to love their WIS on that's his point and he is quite a but it's true similarly women don't really know how to respect their husbands now this may be a sweeping statement but it's by emphasis so let me tell you this I want to spend a bit of time of that a man's identity is shaped
00:23:14 more by sense of respect a woman's identity is shaped more by sense of love you get a group of men over uh M what do they talk about huawe chap you know now can use Kieran chip you know can bypass the the the boycott war in Ukraine politics Joe B you know India landed the thing that are you sure is on the Dark Side of the Moon talk that can you imagine a group women talking like that women will say I don't feel it with my husband I feel like I'm joking my children now I don't know why I got to wall with them you know
00:24:00 correct or not I I have an issue with my weight I don't know why my something I try everything so my diet not working can you imagine talking like that why because men's identity is achievement a man who doesn't feel good at his work loses his sense of identity for example uh there was Tiger Woods when he had an affair very fascinating the response all the women went to Goring him yeah this one unfaithful to the wife going you know how the men say he's a very good golfer why because that's your sense of
00:24:47 worthiness you respect him because he's a golfer you don't give a peep about his personal life so you see where we going and the Lord knows now I want to give you two point one husbands need to lean more into understanding how to love their wives in marriage and wives you need to lean more into understanding how to respect their husband's marriage and I will tell you this is lifechanging let me tell you how this works H in a pair it's a two-way street firstly Paul is building on early verse of submitting one another meaning if
00:25:27 both sides learn to to be humble you are grounded then you pick the emphasis and here's how the emphasis goes when a husband submits to love his wife in a humble manner is easier for the wife to respect him a wife will never say AO this husband are very everything when she finds she's very protected because a woman melts this is not being chauvinistic she say when she meets a girlfriend here very mCP going holiday or never ask me going to order himself but she like that but she feels protected she feels appreciated because
00:26:14 he went me say darling you know I I I I book tickets for us to go here and I know you like to go to this place I know this your favorite Hotel how come you never consult me but after while okay because he remembered she likes the Hotel Ben remember he remember she likes to go scuba diving and then don't worry I know your got I got you very good seed because I know your health got issue I make sure he's protecting her you see that or not ah now the other way also true when a wife submits to respect a
00:26:50 husband it is easier for a husband to love her so Wives husband come back afterward very tired of Booka pinu don't take your machine gun and hey how come the floor so dirty this morning I told you to close the window how can how many close the window you she'll say thank you thank you thank you thank you go to room close the door F you eat first EV you see Paul is being very practical you know right now let me tell you what happens when you don't do it and that's why I say it's a two-way street because
00:27:25 men and women we bring our own expense expectations on love and respect shaped by two things your past hurts and current social influences and I'm not trying to say I'm an expert but but I do speak to a lot of people and you see this again and again and unless Christ as the church whether you're the wife submitting to your husband as the church submits to Christ or is a husband how you Lov your wife the way Christ loved the church becomes your pillar your laners your relationship will be serious
00:28:01 of dos and don'ts to maintain sense of Peace because when you fight with one another after don't don't because you're just saying there's a landmine you're walking on shelves after while you learn to play the game this area don't talk just do this then we have peace and that is the beginning of breaking the bridge it will escalate it will be moving to be transactional because you only tahan him because he does this you only tahan her because do this and then more face can you imagine everybody find out that your
00:28:37 relationship is straight so come to church must pretend that everything looks right now that's getting painful right painful and at one point you will wake up and you will ask yourself am I really married I want to ask a question why is it marriage is so difficult I have not met one person who tells me marriage is easy and God's grace is so big he knows it this whole section he GS you and he tells you you want to survive your marriage look at how Christ loved the church how the church honors Christ
00:29:19 let's move on now then husbands will be abusive the wife will go to em emotional manipulation do you know where this is from this is Genesis 3 your desire shall be for your husband the Hebrew word for desire is the same in chapter 4 where God tells Cain sin desires to have you is about control it is also about a woman being wired to one to love women are more wired to give and receive love the statistics for women uh having extramarital Affairs compared to men are overwhelmingly in men women love
00:30:11 easier that's their strength and their weakness and then Genesis 3 tells us your desire be for husband and what's the second part and he will rule over you and that's not a nice thing these are the consequences and the worst is children see I one very sad case you know and and she came up to me she said you know I saw my parents and they were always fighting so I decided to shut up not say a word to my husband and she did exactly that one day the husband walked up and left her so she sat me down she said what did I
00:31:01 do wrong she's not in this church so can tell the story said I know what they do wrong you see children pick up lessons but they're picking up lessons from the length of hurt and they're picking up wrong lessons and you replacing one baggage with another baggage the issue isn't because your husband your father and mother fought you now decide to keep quiet because your husband just decided I married a stranger and so there is a cycle so let me give you the cycle and it must be always the man so first thing the man
00:31:36 leads and I want to give you some simple example okay and you lead by loving your wife and Ephesians say the first thing you learn to lead is you learn to sacrifice a wife who feels a husband will sacrifice the remote control she will believe you lay down the life for her you can't give that up forget it a wife must feel protected okay let's let's pick this up and I want to see why in this climate people tell you no no no no the church is old fashioned is egalitarian men and women are the same and they blur the lines you see gender
00:32:09 equality is not the same as gender sameness that stupidity you know let me give you three examples husband and wife walking down the street when a robber comes up husband in front Shield of wife you very good huh B let's swap it around now husband why walk in the street robbert comes up why walks in front and Sh the husband it doesn't work why instinctively your your own own because you're made in the image of God you know you are wired to be a protector correct or not so I want to see the starting point
00:32:48 is this you want to save your marriage as a husband she must feel protected you think I'm wrong afterwards going going talk to your wives a wife in in many ways is like this the wife is like a pearl you know today we you better buy the husband is the clam that is true the CL protects the pear correct not okay here's the second one this one this one is a personal testimony here me and my wife were going for dinner real one she was dressed beautifully she's coming for second service so I can tell
00:33:40 it I was cot everything beautiful oh halfway car got problem actually the double plate broke off that time was younger very mature my wife look at me I look at her she said she went out there in the gou got on the knees and fix double plate she say hey what kind of bed are you so can you imagine if you this is why because a man cares for the wife you should get your baju dirty not your wife's expensive night dress La so I had to repent of that if by the way this story got caveat on now got caveat
00:34:26 a lot of these men here I know I do do it I do it I do it something happen to car I jump out do it then you ask a question you love your car more than you love your wife right correct ah no no you be hero tell you and and here's the most obvious can you imagine a girl getting her knes to ask a boy to marry her is that doesn't make sense we are wired this way all right so here's a big lesson for all married couples the lead is a man when a man learns to love the wife the woman finds it easy to respect
00:35:07 the husband and when a husband why H wife respects the husband especially in the way you say things are the wife will learn to love you better and the risk of being stereotyping because women when they get upset they get emotional they get quite worked up and a lot of things come out the guy cannot process one you know we call men stone wall that's why we met woman now in counseling women were share their hearts I can't talk I don't know why I can't breathe in this relationship he doesn't listen to me I can't seem to
00:35:42 communicate you as a guy what's a problem relationship nothing men don't talk you going ask how many men here come up to talk to anybody they don't talk men are like bad men you know they hide in their bad caves because men are essentially Engineers they want to fix things okay so I give you a few list you read it for yourself but I want to highlight something which Pastor Jo father told me he's got very PSE of wisdom and especially in argument it's easier to be right it's harder to be loving I mean the rest is all you pick
00:36:20 up any marriage book they pick it up but item three is very biblical because men like to out talk my my wife favorite line to me is an Lim don't sermonize me correct because I will weaponize my sermons Ma say you have a husband who knows the Bible is very dangerous because he pull the Bible everywhere the Bible say any in a s moment you know that's not what the say you just thrw it in because you know the wife doesn't know corre not you weapon that scripture Papa wife smart enough to pick it out she said
00:36:56 tal don't ser we other live all right now how about women I'm going to highlight point three again I think generally is the way you say things now I I I I I want to pick up a bigger point you see Paul picks this up in a trail or tree relationships you know husband wives parents children SL and master for example do you have to teach your children children to love your parents you don't need to but you have to teach your children to respect your parents you see there's a train you know there's a pattern you
00:37:37 know and I I think the biggest pattern if the marriage is about Christ and the church I think this text applies to elders and congregation and here's first we start with Elders you tell an elder something what's the immediate respon he will tell you he's right and you're wrong is Fallen human nature I have that problem I think all the elders all the pastors have it because I'm Elder ma my mindsets are equal to you but actually my heart thinks I'm better than you that's sinful so you you find a pattern every
00:38:21 time you say something to the Elder the Elder will justify his actions and I learned one thing over years I speak to myself sometimes it's better just to be wrong because the other person then feels at least you listen to me know and I I I it's been a very long journey for that over the years last time when people tell me things I itching to talk one I listen just to talk so after that ah this is what the Bible says the fellow look at you really switch off ready sometime you tell yeah I I think
00:38:58 maybe you're right why don't we try this way you empower the person now here's the flip side you can come up to an elder and say you know Anna I appreciate what you did but you know I think today's your sermon now some things not very right I will listen to you or you can say wait what kind of preaching you doing today the verse is unbiblical you thought about Christ Center there not you're not talking the word of God what do you think I'll do to you it same content the medium is different you see here's the problem
00:39:38 with Christianity we we tend to think of Christianity in big let's go to Africa let's go and do this not Christianity is lived out in the invisible and the mundane is the little little things we do that show our faith what's the point if we all know our scripture if you talk to me I run you down like I don't even give you a chance to give your view what's the point of Christianity that when you talk to me you disrespect me just by the way you talk so I think there is a lot of truth going here all right so let me now go to
00:40:20 why the third point is important and this is very hard because we started off with this word and it's hard to do it now I want to say when we say respect is earned we are talking about worthiness you know it means you you're not worthy of my respect let me give you another word this is the same thing meaning I am not worthy of respect the first is directed to another person the second is directed to self they are both sense of worthiness now first thing we really picked up our sense of worthiness is very based on the
00:41:01 world a woman's sense of self-esteem is based on am I loved a man's sense of self-esteem is based on am I successful in my career and the Bible doesn't talk about self-esteem the key word is self now let me give you this Ephesians he starts off Blessed Be The God Who blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing he chose us him before the foundation of the world he predestined us for adoption to the praise of glory god he bless us in the belov in him we have Redemption through his blood the forgiven according we l in all wisdom
00:41:44 making to us he starts off with this explosion like a movie bam Christian you are so blessed are you worthy of this that's the point and to double down on this he tells you your grace you mean safe so every time I look at a person and I say you're not worthy of my respect it comes back God whispering to you were you worthy of mine and so what the text is telling us and why Paul starts off with that iici then he goes make every unit effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit by the B of love and bear with one another and
00:42:37 he goes all the way to this he wants you to remember you were saved by unconditional love in return we give unconditional honor and respect to God and so when I meet someone I cannot tahan because I find his behavior very disrespectful The God Who gave me unconditional love and I give him back unconditional respect demands I give that person unconditional love and unconditional respect now scripture then looks at it this way you can dislike that person you may find him disrespectful you may find anold liim as an elder not
00:43:32 palatable to you it's fair the idea is not about respecting the chair the idea is how do you look at me uh nowadays you go to China got highs speed rail you know you go very far very slick very clean you go to the toilets beautiful you go to China in early 2000 what's the most obvious thing you see when you see Chinese people correct or not so when you look at a Chinese guy you say hiya you don't respect him this one hey the same guy probably has more money than you now probably bought out all the shops in London everybody C out
00:44:19 to him you know now what if at that time you look at this fellow who who sped and you didn't jum judge him for who he was but you judge him on who he could become maybe you were try to B the guy sorry for the word but you you you see our problem the problem is we do not look at people Through The Eyes of Grace so when you look at somebody you dislike you you you have a lot issues you tend to stay away but Paul and Apostle Peter is saying no you lead an honorable life so that when they look at you they feel
00:45:01 you don't judge them on the way they speak the way they see because you know what you give people you give people hope they can change so Peter pick this up like why wives be subject to your husband so if some of them do not obey the word they may be warn over without conduct a word of conduct when they see your respectful Behavior now I want to give a cave at this first is not about staying in abusive relationship now there's a pattern here meaning you're going to fight with your husband especially if the husband is not much of
00:45:35 a Christian he's not going to get anyway wives you cannot nag your husband to be a better Christian you cannot nag him to be a Christian right they look at your behavior and not that's a pattern he says the same thing with servants be subject to your masters with respect not only the good but the unjust and then he doubles down he says keep your conduct among Gentiles honorable when they speak against you evil doers you notice there's a pattern the pattern is how you look at the Gentile how you look at a bad boss how
00:46:07 you look at your husband how you look at an elder you don't respect how how you look at someone you cannot tah and Peter is reminding you you a royal priesthood a holy nation the people belonging to God we look at people with Grace because that's how God looked at us and when when we can do that we we do what Peter says we honor everyone love the Brotherhood fear God now this is very hard and so I want to just end with a something close to me sometime ago I spoke about unity and I I talked about
00:46:43 something which is sensitive but I want to speak the truth in love subang FBC comes out of a fight from pantai and I'll tell you something when people fight other people watch you and that's why what Pastor joash dad said was very right you know Pastor Luke two sides trying to prove they are right people don't see whether you're right they see whether you're loving number two when the fight happened the words Christians were using on one another they completely disrespectful and and I had to do a lot
00:47:26 of repenting on my part so I want to close with this whenever you find it hard for a husband to love a wife or you as a wife to respect your husband or you to love and respect someone unconditionally there are two things the gospel gives you that allows you to maybe move forward one he loved us unconditionally how high and deep and wide like Leah God loves me so the first thing you an yourself is the love of God here's the second one which we rarely talk about in a church like us got Eon got nice Macan everybody comfortable and
00:48:08 is what Peter picks up when he sandwiches off between wives and servants and is this verse all right you do good and suffer if you endure is a gracious thing in the sight of God when you be caught because Christ suffered for you and here's the word we all should underline leaving you an example you might follow in his steps first the cross reminds us of the unconditional love which we move forward when we feel UNL secondly the cross reminds us of the sufferings you and I are called to he committed no sin no
00:48:53 deceit upon his mouth when he was reviled he did not re B return now this in church Someone tell us wrong are we going to wack you back already when he suffered he did not threaten you say something to me I warn you already I try to cut you off from the church I said this group of troublemakers we kick them out he continue entrusting him to to himself to him who judges justly I I think this is just so if you pause it it makes so much sense and we so far from this he himself borrow sins in his body in the tree that we might
00:49:32 die to sin and live to righteousness by his wounds you have been healed for you were strain like sheep but now now return to the shepherd and overseer of your souls I want to leave this text with you as the worship team comes up and I want to ask to pause a bit first there are two questions one I want to ask all of you in or married and marriage isn't easy and the big lesson is this if a wife loves a husband the way God wants to which is the way Christ love the church is easier for the wife to respect the husband that's
00:50:19 your big picture I want you to I want I want husbands to pause on that I want you to sit it in and and as we sing this song I want you to ask yourself is there some repenting you need to do because I need to do quite a bit of repenting in my own marriage and you a wife you you ask yourself whether you are you respecting your husband meaning are you making it easier for him to be a leader or you always running him down are you in public shaming him are you always complaining do you understand that a man has certain
00:51:01 struggles also and if the way you talk to your husbands a bit more gentle and supportive you may find he will love you more so I want us to pause on that because for me that was very big it's I sort of knew it here I didn't know it there and I will tell you I think it's life-changing here the second one as an elder as all Elders are I will tell you we are committed to serve you ask all of us we are not perfect we can be overbearing you may find it hard to listen to us because you see these guys
00:51:46 don't listen but I'll will tell you the four of us we are committed to sacrifice for you thank you we ask for only one thing in return you respect us because when you do that and you can disagree with us respectfully we can do our jobs better let's come before the Lord in prayer Lord Jesus we ask that your words sink into us and remember that how you bore our sins on that tree when you were revealed you did not reveal back and then one day May our Behavior be so mature as Peter says it we put to
00:52:43 shame to those who make foolish talk that all of us look at ourselves that we learn to love and respect people [Music] the way you loved us and the way we give you back that honor unconditionally in Jesus name we say this and I pass the time now to Brandon to minister to us in song Let's stand together let's sing this song let's make this our prayer as well [Music] Jesus at the center of it all and Jesus at the center of it [Music] all from beginning to the end it will always be it's always been
00:53:51 you Jesus Jesus again Jesus at the center Jesus at the center of it [Music] all Jesus at the center of it all from beginning to the end it will always be it's always been you Jesus Jesus and nothing Else Matters nothing in this world will do Jesus your desend everything revolves around you Jesus you at the center of it all Jesus be the center of my life Jesus be the center of my life Jesus be the center of my life from beginning to the end it will always be it's always been you [Music] Jesus Jesus Nothing Else
00:55:43 Matters nothing in this world will [Music] do Jesus you're the center and everything revolves around you Jesus you sing again nothing else matters Nothing Else Matters nothing in this world will [Music] do is Jesus your desent [Music] everything rols around you Jesus you from my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center it's all about you yes it's all about you my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center it's all about you yes it's all see again from my heart from my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center it's all
00:57:16 about you yes it's all about you from my heart to the heavens Jes BL be the center it's all about you yes it's all about from my heart from my heart to the heavens Jesus be the Senter it's all about you yes it's all about you from my heart to the heavens Jesus be CER it's all about you yes it's all about [Music] you Jesus be the center of your church oh Jesus be the center of your church and every knee will bow every tongue shall confess you Jesus Jesus oh Jesus lift his name up Jesus Jesus Jes nothing else nothing else
00:58:53 matter nothing in this world will [Music] do Jesus you're the center everything rols around you Jesus is you at the center of it all [Music] can we be seated and we are going to now come for time of the Lord's supper and uh let's prepare ourselves and if you have not received any of this ambulance please raise your hands if you're a believer in Christ Jesus U this is a solar moment U the breaking of the bread has been Central to the church since his Inception and we are going to take this moment reverently as we come before our
01:00:13 God if you're not a Christian we humbly respectfully request you pass it on and let's take some time to quiet down on our hearts and we will anchor this morning's Holy Communion the Eucharist whatever your history tradition teaches you on this morning's sermon Ephesians chapter 5 verse 30 we are members of his body for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be United to his wife and the two will become one flesh this is a profound Mystery by talking about Christ and the church and we are united with
01:01:11 Christ in one flesh and we are united and right now we remember by taking the bread together for on the night he was betrayed ch Christ reminding us on this this is his body broken for us and by taking this we are united in one flesh with Christ again scripture I'm talking about Christ and the church as you think this remind yourself you are united with Christ let's take this together together and take some moment to reflect on this Lord as we are one with you we are now a new Humanity we struggle with our old selves
01:02:11 oh Lord we struggle to be better husbands we struggle to be better wives we struggle to be better Elders we struggle to be a better congregation we struggle to be better children better parents better managers better directors better staff this morning your word comes out to us in love and respect let's take a moment to ask this area where we have fallen short and let's do some private quiet repentance in our hearts Ephesians 5:25 husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her let's
01:03:33 take a moment for husbands to pick this up and the wife must respect her husband so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything let's take let's give every couple a moment to just sit this through and let us do some repent think of our roles in [Music] marriage and for all of us Ephesians 5:28 again Christ loved the church gave himself up for her that's us Christ loved FBC and gave himself up for us FBC to make FBC holy and cleansing by the washing with water through the word and we pray this
01:04:40 morning Lord your word spoken through a broken vessel like me will bring about a change hearts and to present FBC to himself as a Radiant Church Without stay pain or wrinkle or any blemish but holy and blameless as we take the cup of suffering the blood that washed away our sins we remember Christ who's washed us away to present us without a blemish and may we treat each other with unconditional respect let us take This Together closing prayer for all of us love and respect is a pair may we go back and ask how we can apply that even
01:05:47 in our conversations after this in our dinner meals and our lunch meals after this in our work tomorrow love and respect unconditional love and respect and how do we give this we give this by having Jesus at the center I'm going to ask uh Brenda to maybe just sing this one more time just a short one one verse and unless Jesus is at the center of everything our faith is just rules and regulations let's just do this one more time let's just rise and then we'll depart let's sing this [Music] prayerfully sing Jesus is at the center
01:06:44 of it all Jesus at the center of it [Music] all Jesus at the center of it [Music] all from beginning to the end it will always be it's always been you Jesus Jesus one more time Jesus at the center of it all Jesus at the center of it all Jesus said at the center of it [Music] all from beginning to the end it will always be it's always been you Jesus Jesus let sing that name again Jesus Jesus Jesus his name is Jes Jesus Jesus Lord as your spirit just moves as we just quieten our hearts and Jesus be
01:08:06 at that Center let quietly let the spirit just sit and comfort you Jesus at the center of our marriage Jesus at the center of our relationships as children and parents Jesus at the center of our work Jesus at the center of this church [Music] just let those words sit in there and we just going to end quietly and softly here as I give you the benediction now may the Lord God who gave us his only begotten son who so loved us died for us on the cross fill us with with love that unconditional love that we will go forth and give out
01:08:53 that unconditional love to all we meet May the God who gave us his only son who died for us and that we give you back in worship now that honor and that respect that we go out and give unconditional respect even to people whom we struggle with we have difficulty with and in those moments May the sufferings of Christ who endured sin on the cross for us be with you as me as with wisdom and perseverance you persevere through difficult marriage you persevere through a difficult time with your children with your parents with your
01:09:37 work with colleagues and even with your fellow elders and God people say amen God bless you all have a blessed week ahead and as usual we're here to talk to you let's all have some respectable conversations
