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00:00:02 scripture reading is taken from the letter of St Paul the Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21-23 submit to one another out of reverence for Christ wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church his body of which he is the savior now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything husbands loves your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her
00:01:10 holy cleansing her by the washing with water through the world and to present her to himself as a Radiant Church Without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless in this same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself after all no one ever hated their own body but they feed and care for their body just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and to United to his
00:02:26 wife and the two will become one flesh this is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church however each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband this is the word of the Lord testing testing thank you very much uh Imran for reading the scripture good morning church it's indeed good to be back in the house of the Lord to worship together with all of you and uh with you all although not in space but at least in time those of you who are sitting at
00:03:55 home I want to first of all thank you know my brother old and Dr Peter last week for standing in for me because I wasn't feeling well um you know they were very gracious uh and there's actually a little bit of a story behind that which I hope to share with all of you right at the end uh of the service but today being the first week uh of the month it is also Family Sunday so I know that amongst us there should be quite a number of uh people from the youth so today's message is also very much for you because we are going to be
00:04:30 talking about uh marriage okay uh now so last week uh as part of the series on the portrait of the family are not touch on the subject of marriage and how we are to image God in our marriage relationship today I would like to expand on that and particularly look at the teachings from the passage that brother Imran has just read Ephesians 5 uh if we are to have Healthy Families all right we must first begin with fostering healthy marriages right uh let us go to the Lord in prayer before I continue let us pray
00:05:10 dear heavenly father as we look at this very important topic of marriage we want to hear what your word has to say about about it to us Lord we pray that you fill me with thy Holy Spirit and may your name be glorified through the preaching of your word and we pray Lord that your word me indeed transform our lives but we pray all this in Jesus name amen now if you ask anybody everybody seems to have an opinion of what marriage is now some say life begins when marriage starts you know other says life begins when marriage
00:05:52 ends right so which is which while we hope to find some answers from scripture today now I was was talking to my daughter a few weeks ago uh let me get my clicker out okay yeah I was talking to Jesse a few weeks ago you know we have our regular teleconferencing and she mentioned how in one of her social psychology lectures it was suggested that marriage right is like many things in our culture is actually a cultural or a social phenomenon it is a social construct in other words it's a human invention and therefore subjected to
00:06:40 change as and when Society deems it necessary or convenient to do so therefore increasingly it's not surprising right that man tries to redefine what marriage is it's no longer necessary uh for it to be between a man and a woman man and man woman and woman now you you can F into and out of marriage anytime you want you know there's even something in the west called No fought divorce which means that any dissolution of a marriage right can happen where both parties don't have to show any cause at
00:07:17 all today in the west where nearly half of all marriages end up in divorce many young people have stopped taking it seriously and that's a very very sad thing i' like to take a more optimistic view of marriage it's simply not that important according to all these young people you know and we can just live with one another cohabit with one another now that kind of a casual attitude right is probably best uh exemplified H let's see does it work yeah by this song You Know by Bruno M I'm sure a lot of young people right
00:07:58 like myself right would have heard of this song huh okay uh now you just look at the lyrics okay and it's a very catchy tune I remember when it was you know one of the top hits H it used to be on and on know in the radio it's a beautiful day you know we're looking for something to do hey baby I think I want to marry you okay uh I'll get a ring let the choir Bell sing you know if you wake up and you want to break up that's cool too right no I don't blame you it was fun girl you know so that kind of uh sums up some
00:08:33 of the uh callous attitudes that the West has right or even here okay uh on what marriage is now I remember a few years ago when we were at church camp right you know uh the speaker said you know we live in a very consumer minded uh uh culture all right uh today is very common that we all go and shop shop shop uh buy byy buy and then we throw throw throw right now consumer mindset has creeped into almost every area of our lives in business in relationships and even in many cases subconsciously perhaps even
00:09:12 into how we view marriages it's about maximizing our personal happiness is about instant gratification and self-fulfillment we evaluate everything in terms of cost and benefits now as long as I'm getting what I want at a cost that I'm willing to pay I'll stick with you you know just like you know the the supermarket down the street the moment I don't see value anymore I move on that's the consumer or the transactional mindset now if you carry that kind of a mindset into marriage right you end up with like this guy
00:09:53 Donald Trump is already into his third marriage all right and every one of his marriage okay is covered by a prenuptual agreement you know it's hard painful and ugly too but it is necessary all right according to him why is it necessary because he wants to protect his wealth okay in one of his prenuptual contracts right uh he has a deadline you know in which how much he needs to pay okay uh his ex-wife uh elony or child support okay but but most of us don't fall into any of these categories right
00:10:33 I mean most of us are quite uh you know uh uh normal so to speak okay a lot of us get married why all right because we are in love okay well that's fair enough you know all of us probably start off you know that way we come across someone that seems to fulfill our I idea of an ideal partner okay he or she is attra Ive to us okay the appeal character seems to tick most of uh our boxes right but you know what this is really what we call romantic love and it is very different from how the Bible defines love as okay this is
00:11:21 the feeling of Love okay it's real for sure right but the problem is it is also very very fleeting and you know what it's actually transactional okay I mean we love to be with someone right because we are getting something back uh I mean just last Friday you know we were having uh live group meeting you know and and this is the way I not describe it you know I I love to be with you right I enjoy your presence right because I'm getting something out of it I'm getting some emotional feeling and emotional support
00:11:57 out of it all right that's why we make mix with people we we we like to be in a presence with now again right all these are quite natural but if our marriage is built upon just the feeling of being in love you know what we will eventually be very disappointed why you know because when we are cting both of you are putting your best fit forward right you are in marketing mode so to speak and you try your hardest to impress you amplify your assets right and you downplay all your liabilities you know you know what they
00:12:37 say right you fake it until you make it but then after you get married and living together right will ultimately reveal your true self to one another and that's when the rubber meets the road H okay every marriage sooner or later will fail to live up to his expectations why because things change because you change husbands change wives change circumstances change your interest change your environment changes so if we don't move past romantic love into what the Bible teaches as covenantal or committed
00:13:22 relationship we are building our marriages on very superficial ground now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that romance or passion is not important what I'm saying is that you know in a culture where we are told to look out for ourselves where self-fulfillment takes priority even Christians are conditioned by this popular culture to enter marriage thinking in these terms what can I get out of it rather than how can I best serve the interest of my spouse now marriage is hard work okay it can be messy but I want to tell you that
00:14:01 marriage can be a most wonderful thing with great rewards if there's a big if if we follow the blueprint that God has given us so I want to say that marriage is really for the vast majority of people okay no matter what your race language or religion somehow all of us as a matter of course right are drawn to wanting to be married that of course is indeed the case right because I think we are all wired to be married not all except of course if God has given you the gift right of singlehood right and I think I
00:14:40 mentioned this the last time I preached that singleness is not inferior okay singleness is a unique gift that God has chosen to give certain individuals in order to serve him you know you are in a unique advantageous position right to do things that married couples kind so marriage all right Bears a special purpose and significance for the Christian okay uh you know last last week Arnold mentioned all right that even non-christians all right can have good marriages right why because marriage is a gift from
00:15:26 God but I will go one step further even Christians on the other hand can have bad marriages right so the point I'm trying to make is that marriage really depends on what you expect all right uh uh it to be and at the end of the day I submit to you right that for the Christian right marriage has the greatest chance all right of fulfilling uh itself know to this greatest potential so the first big idea all right um so marriage right uh is the Christian right in a Christian marriage right has the greatest chance okay of uh
00:16:16 fulfilling all right God's intented purpose all right for marriage now I've got uh three big ideas or take away so the first big idea that I I want to present to you is that married people need to be Spirit-filled now we return to the passage right in Ephesians 5 which Imran has just read for us okay it is a set of instructions that Paul has laid out for us in governing our relationships in our lives beginning with marriage relationship which is the focus of day now these instructions are not given in a vacuum before this
00:16:59 instructions were given Paul laid down the theological underpinning right that even make it possible for us Christians to follow those instructions now if you look at the book of Ephesians uh just very very quickly it is divided really into two parts the first three chapters is all about the gospel okay it's about the gospel story so Paul was reminding the Ephesians Christians that how their lives have been affected by the gospel story okay and the second half of the the book of Ephesians right is really on the
00:17:34 Practical outworkings of the Gospel in the lives of the Ephesians Christians now I I think is before we get into Ephesians chapter 5 is instructive all right for us to just give you an overview all right about what the preseeding chapters are because therein we find a very fundamental principle that Paul talked about Paul began his letter by reminding the Ephesians that they have been blessed with every spiritual blessings okay the Salvation right right uh has been brought to the Ephesian Christians
00:18:13 through faith and faith alone you know uh in Chapter 2 uh Paul reminds them that after receiving God's grace the Ephesians Christians being Gentiles are now joined together with the Jewish community and together they are now part of a new Humanity of which Christ is the head chapter 3 after praying for them to grasp the immensity of Christ's love for them he goes on to talk about the unity of the Believers in Christ and how they are now part of a community called the church that has been given diverse gifts
00:18:50 okay so that the Christians can help to build each other in the body of Christ that's in chapter four and then later on Paul talks about putting off the old self all right and then putting on the new self abandoning the old ways of living which was aive lived according to the flesh now you remember my sermon back in January I painted a picture of uh when PA when Paul was writing this letter it was during uh uh Roman times all right where they had the Greco Roman culture right what Paul is advising here is really
00:19:26 Counter Culture to that day uh during the time of Paul women were not respected at all a wife um is not a lover a wife is a possession it's something that the husband owns right and her primary job is just to give birth okay uh if the husband wants companionship he goes out and find another woman all right or consort or the concubine okay and and and so the whole culture right is very very paganistic um so Paul is really trying to tell the Ephesians Christians to uh abandon their old way of living all
00:20:10 right now that they have a new identity in Christ and then just right before we come to our main passage today Paul says in Ephesians 5:18 to 21 do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery but what but be filled with the spirit now I want you to see that Paul's discourse follows a very very logical pattern here okay the progression is this all right because you are now Believers you have experienced a radical change in your life you now have a new identity you now have the spirit of God in you and therefore your manner of
00:20:51 conduct as a submissive wife and a loving husband is therefore possible in other words wife submitting and husbands truly loving is anchored on the foundational truth of a spirit fi life so to the degree that you yield your life under the control of the Holy Spirit and not on your own selfish desires you are able to follow these instructions that's exactly what Paul is trying to tell us so what does it mean to be Spirit-filled Galatians 5:116 says but I say walk by the spirit that you do not gratify the
00:21:38 desires of the Flesh leing in the spirit is the opposite of leing In the Flesh right to be controlled by the flesh is to give in to your selfish desires to submit to your base instincts or self gratification now being filled with the spirit is not a commandment right uh it's not something you know we say that the Christians has to acquire right it's not something that they don't already have you and I if we profess Christ we already have the Holy Spirit living in us because Paul says in Romans uh 8 okay
00:22:20 you are not in the flesh but in the spirit if indeed the spirit of God dwells in you so being filled with the Spirit right is really living in the conscious presence of our Lord Jesus Christ letting his mind through his word dominate everything that is done in our lives now there's another thing that we need to know what it means to be filled with the spirit filling being filled with the spirit right is you know a lot of people give the analogies like filling a glass with water but I think that is a little bit uh erroneous it is
00:23:02 very passive okay uh we don't just get zapped you know by the Holy Spirit right um the idea of being filled with the spirit is more like the wind filling the sail of a boat okay if you have ever sailed a boat before okay it is the power of the wind right that drives the boat towards a specific Direction and that's the idea of being filled with the spirit okay and the other thing that we need to know about being filled with the spirit is that it is continuous it is continuous okay it's not a one-time kind of a deal so every
00:23:44 day we need to yield ourselves to the control of the Holy Spirit now how does that apply to a marriage well only if you have the ministry of the holy spirit in your life you will be able to face the challenges of marriage now when you put two needy Sinners together okay their sins do not cancel out one another you know in fact if anything right they probably multiply and multiply exponentially okay uh so if you're looking if if the husband and the wife right is looking towards each other to fulfill their needs okay sooner or later
00:24:32 it's going to give way a husband cannot love his wife as Christ loved the church and a wife cannot effectively submit to a husband as unto the Lord without Supernatural help or empowerment you can't gift unless you are filled all right that's the idea okay so as the husband or the wife submit and surrender their lives to Christ and they move closer towards God their relationship gets closer as illustrated by that triangle there okay so that's a a very good mental picture that we need to keep in
00:25:19 mind all right when we talk about our relationship with one another in a marriage a spirit filled life is a a spirit fill person right is a giver right rather than a taker okay so you see the difference between what I desire for myself when I'm living in the flesh and what a spirit filled person would do as a husband or a wife right there's a big contrast here now of course uh I'm not saying that we are always living in a high you know in Romans we read that there's always this war between our selfish desires and what
00:26:00 we know we should do as a Christian there's always this fight between what I want okay and what I should be doing so it is very important that we formulate a spiritual habit all right of daily dying to self okay that's the key dying to self and submitting ourself to the spirit so that's the First Fundamental truth right that we need to understand okay about about having a healthy marriage but there is a second very fundamental truth that successful marriages are anchored on excuse me and it is this H the second
00:26:59 fundamental uh big idea and take away I want you to uh noce marriage is to image Christ and his church okay the command for wives to submit and husbands to love are not some friendly advice that Paul is recommending all right or option that you might want to consider Paul says in Ephesians 5:31 that these Commandments are rooted in the original design of God's marriage from the very beginning and that's why he points all right the Ephesians Christians all the way back to the original marriage in
00:27:38 Genesis chapter 2: 24 that's the first connection it's not Paul's idea all right Paul says when I ask you to submit and to love all right it is not my idea it is based on what God had originally intended way back in Genesis chapter 2 for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be United to his wife and the two will become one flesh but then Paul doesn't stop there he makes a second connection and he goes on to say in verse 32 this is a profound mystery but I'm talking about Christ and
00:28:22 the church okay this is a profound mystery I'm talking about Christ and the church let me try to paraphrase it this way all right what what Paul is trying to say is that this instructions that I'm giving you the roles of a submissive wife to the headship of the husband and the husband loving your wife is actually an integral part of God's original design for marriage that in turns is a reflection of the Gospel relationship between Jesus Christ and his church these are not arbitary commands Paul is giving us this is God's pattern
00:29:03 for marriage that is meant to teach us about the love relationship between Jesus Christ and his people this is a profound mystery now mystery all right is not some something that is puzzling you know right or extoric okay mystery here is simply truths that will hid before but is now revealed by the Holy Spirit I mean you remember when we were studying uh Matthew all right Jesus often use parables in order to hide truth from the Pharisees but then later on he would explain those Parables right and reveals those Mysteries of the
00:29:47 Kingdom to his disciples right that's the same word that is being used here okay and uh in 1 Corinthians 278 Paul talks about uh uh the wisdom of God all right in the mystery the hidden wisdom the gospel which God ordained before the ages of our Glory which none of the rulers of this age knew for had they known they would not have crucified the Lord Of Glory so the term mystery does not refer to something puzzling all right but to truths known to God Before Time that he kept a secret until the appropriate time
00:30:26 to reveal it is deep truth why because even back then God in his infinite wisdom and forn knowledge had created an intended marriage to speak to us about Jesus love for his people now what's the implication of that all right well it means that marriage is not just for procreation although it's part of it go forth and multiply marriage is not just about partnership bringing two people together you know uh you know God looks at Adam and says it is not good for men to be alone right so the woman is supposed to
00:31:15 be a help meat they form a whole okay man and woman you know uh are not reminded us both of them all right image God perfectly or supposed to anyway right so it's not just for procreation it's not just for partnership it's not just for pleasure you know there is a sexual Union right which gives pleasure right to the couple but more than anything else right it is for the proclamation of the Gospel we have to get that right okay the noblest the most lofty purpose or the mission of marriage is the proclamation of the
00:32:00 Gospel so a lot of us when we enter in a marriage relationship we think that it is a gift from God it is for us it's for our benefit it's for me it's for my happiness it's for my fulfillment it's me me me me me but we fail to internalize the fact that marriage is actually for God's glory and for the proclamation of the Gospel to the first to us and then to our children and then to the church and to the community at l much so it's important for us to grasp that right so how does marriage point to the
00:32:40 gospel relationship between Christ and the church let's take a closer look at Genesis chapter 2:24 that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is United Okay in some version which I prefer the word cleave or hold fast to his wife and they become one flesh now you notice there is a first of all a leing okay now as close a bond between uh parents and and their children AG okay when uh uh the children gets married they leave the father and mother all right that is to say there is now a separation okay between the close born
00:33:27 between the parent and child and there's a new priority found in the lives of the married couple now this does not mean that we sever our ties right from our father and mother you know because it's very clear in the Bible that uh we are to honor them and provide for them but someone else now your spouse takes precedence she's got to be the most important for you men it's got to be the most important person in your life right your husband and your wife must be the most important person in your life then there is a
00:34:01 uniting okay and I actually prefer the the King James rendition of it call using the word cleave right which means to join or to stick together uh the some says U the ver use the version whole fast or to grab hold to you know uh for dear life okay now this means what this means that marriage is for life is permanent Jesus right uh when he was uh addressing the issue of divorce okay uh with with the Pharisees uh he also refer back to the original design okay of uh Genesis chapter 2 and what did he say that okay he's two
00:34:52 things we note all right Jesus in Matthew 19 when he was talking about divorce made two things very clear okay the first is that whoever God has joined okay let no one separate when we make our vage vows we don't only make a promise to one another we are actually making a vow With God all right we are actually making a covenant with God and the second thing is this marriage as God had intended is supposed to be permanent in this lifetime and then the third point is that uh husband and wife now becomes one
00:35:37 flesh then of course talks about the intimate intimacy right that is shared between a husband and a wife and the wonderful sexual Union between the couple but it's more than just physical you know the Oneness is not a goal in itself but an expression of the love and the unity of heart and purpose between the husband and the wife okay now that is a description of the marriage relationship between Adam and Eve what about between Christ and the church well there is also a cleaving okay in Deuteronomy chapter 13
00:36:22 verse4 right Paul uh talks about uh not not Paul sorry Moses Moses when he was addressing the Israelites okay he says you shall walk after the Lord your God and fear Him and keep his Commandments and obey his voice and you shall serve him and what there the word and cleave to him and hold fast to him Moses here is warning the Israelites against idolatry okay so he's telling them you should leave all your Idols all the Egyptians gods or the Canaan Gods all right and you shall only worship one God
00:37:02 the true God okay which is Jehovah and you shall cleave to him so it there is also a leaving you leave other gods and you cleave to the true God all right in the New Testament Paul often talks about the union that we have in Christ in First Corinthians 6:17 but whoever is united with the Lord is one with him there is one body one Spirit just as you were called to one hope when you were called one Lord One Faith one baptism that's in Ephesians 4 so that's how marriage language relates to Christ and uh his church now when you
00:37:50 put this and this together all right you see a in similarity between the two okay in terms of uh what is written here in terms of these Hallmarks right in terms of the priority in terms of the permanence in terms of the exclusivity faithfulness and unity and you know what this is what ano talked about last week this is the covenantal relationship right that we have so you know when you think deeply about it isn't the gospel story of Jesus Christ a love story you have a man leaving his Heavenly Father you know and he goes off
00:38:50 to the far side of the universe right in order to search for his bride which the father father has Beed to him and then he had to pay a doy and he paid the bright price with his own blood right so that we the bride can become one with him that is what the Bible calls love not the romantic fely kind of love you know where we feel electricity Crossing through our body you know not that kind of love this is sacrificial love this is dying to self right so you have two fundamental truths you know that I've tried to articulate right the
00:39:39 first is that in order to be successful in your marriage you need to have a Spirit-filled life and then the second foundational truth is that you have the power now you need to have a direction know as to where to go okay and this is it the picture all right of Christ Christ and the church it's not about us it's not about our happiness as it is about our Holiness now after looking at these two foundational truth that kind of sandwich the instructions okay we are now ready to look at the distinctive roles that
00:40:26 each spouse play in a marriage so we come to uh the third big idea now but before that you know you also find all right that this imagery right of uh you know Christ of of the bride and the bridegroom of of marriage right is is lited everywhere in the Bible actually okay and and these are some of the verses right uh in the Old Testament okay which because of time I shall not go through but uh uh you know you get the the slides later on posted and you can re review them yourself so the word husband is often used
00:41:07 okay and then these are just some examples know even in New Testament okay Jesus often re referred to himself as the bridegroom okay in the first uh reference right there's John the Baptist right uh talking okay referring to Jesus right as the bridegroom and of course we have the ultimate picture all right in Revelation where uh we all look forward to to the Eternal Marriage between Jesus Christ and his bride where the bride will be presented to him holy unblemished right so having spoken about the foundational
00:42:01 truth all right that man is to image God and marriage is to image Christ and his church uh I want us all to remember to internalize right this mental picture or of a vision that we should strive towards so this is really a message for you know especially you young people those people who are contemplating marriage um I I I I like to say that you know when I got married with Cynthia uh uh you know I knew about this um by God's grace you know um Cynthia and I two months ago in January celebrated our 30th Anniversary okay uh
00:42:47 that's a long time to be married all right thank you thank you okay and uh it has been a a wonderful time but not without our struggles all right uh sure when we first got married know we we were Christians all right we had a Christian marriage okay but nobody I mean of course you know we always say yeah we are Christian we want to be god-honoring uh you know we want to honor God you know in the way we live our marriage life uh but you know what don't make the mistake that we have because I think a lot of people right we
00:43:23 kind of leave Christ at the door right after we got married yeah of course on the wedding day itself right you know you know with the minister with all the uh uh glamour you know in church uh you you feel a sense of sacredness and Holiness okay but most of us if we are honest I think okay kind of have this notion that God should be the center of our marriage but in reality right we only pay lip service to it isn't it we kind leave God at the door and only when we get into trouble in our marriage then we
00:44:04 open the door and say God please you know help me right but that doesn't need to be the case right if you are empowered by the Holy Spirit and you have that Vision which I've just tried to paint for you all right as your Noble aim okay you can start off right don't do it as an afterthought you know that's what I'm trying to tell you young people when you start start right okay and then even when you're courting okay for those youth you know all right in a few years a lot of you are going to get married
00:44:40 okay and I want you to remember that okay when you look for a a a boyfriend or a girlfriend you know and my daughters taught me this term nowadays young people go around confessing you know okay you don't go and say that you guys don't go and pick up all the pretty girls right okay and then uh you narrow it down to three or four pretty girls right and then out of that right you go and confess to every one of them right and hope that one will say yes and that's unfortunately a lot of our mentality is like that all right we
00:45:15 only go for those who are physically attractive to us first but what I'm trying to tell you right is flip it around okay look for people who can become your best friend who understands you whom you share not common interest Cynthia and I have very different interest okay I'm more the outgoing type you know she's she it's just got simply other other interest I like food she she's okay with anything you know she eats right but but that that's the point all right you you have to have common values right look for a good friend
00:45:48 first now I'm not saying that uh uh you know you you go and choose the next Christian that walks through the door all right no of course there must be some mutual attraction okay but your most primary criteria all right okay it's not physical attracts because that would change believe me it's not how much money that person have okay because all these are uncertain okay but is how that person can become a close friend so I think Tom Keller know in his very famous book called the meaning of marriage and
00:46:30 I advise all of you to go and get the book and read it okay he says that when couples come together they should first of all be best friends okay and and they should talk about how they can uh promote one another and spur one another towards in a journey towards the vision right okay of Christ and his church okay now the third big idea marriage has distinctive godh honoring roles right now when when when I did the research right I can't help you know noticing right that Paul's instructions actually
00:47:15 mirrors all right uh the effects of the Fall okay first Paul says submit to your husband you notice that that actually is to counteract right Genesis chapter 3:16 right where uh God when God pronounced the curse right to for the woman he says this right your desire will be for your husband it means that after the fall the woman's desire is is not the desire for the husband's presence or or his love okay but is to desire to overrule all right the husband to rule over the husband to usurp his head ship okay and
00:47:59 that is why Paul uh in his advice says submit to your husband okay and then of course for the man after the fall his tendency is to abuse his power okay and to dominate and subjugate the woman and that's why Paul says for you men you love your wife so wife submission what is it maybe I start off by saying what it is not okay for starters H please don't speak to your husband in a doron voice okay you know this what happened uh last year right during the MCO somebody you know said that hey you know
00:48:48 you should be submissive to your husband and you speak to this whatever I I don't know how Dory Mo's voice sounded like so I Googled it and I tell you it's terrible okay please don't do that all right okay but seriously first of all submission doesn't mean that you are inferior okay it doesn't mean we are all equal all right in the eyes of God for there's neither Jew male or female I think you understand that okay it's not to all men you're only to submit to your husband all right so you're not like the Taliban
00:49:24 right where all the men goes and you know go and Heckle all the women on the streets okay does not mean that the woman cannot have an opinion okay Cynthia always have an opinion I can tell you that yeah probably stronger than me you're right okay but I value her opinions okay and of course there is limits to the submission you should not condone sin okay if your husband ask you to do something wrong that is against God's will right you have a higher authority to appeal to but what is it in a word it is
00:50:06 respect okay Ephesians 5:33 however each one of you also must love uh his wife as he loved him or is that okay ah okay the last ver okay and the wife must respect her husband wife must respect her husband now I've seen wives talk down on their husbands embarrassing them in public okay never give faith I think it's okay for women to you know like what he didn't say have strong opinions you know that's not the problem that's not the issue it's how they express themselves that's the question here some women are just plain quism
00:50:49 okay the Bible says in Proverbs 19113 aism wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof okay and how true it is have you ever tried to sleep right when there's a leak okay in from the temp right so respect is what you should be giving to your husband and of course the Bible also tells us to love right in Titus uh Paul uh advis the widows to teach younger women to love their husbands that's a given and last but not least is to empower husbands with your gifts and resources you see you are supposed to be
00:51:30 a helpmate a soulmate you put everything on the table you Empower your husband right you support him and affirm him right in what he's trying to do our time is almost up all right masculinity now we go move on to the husband okay earlier this week for one day this piece of news overshadow the work the war the Ukraine you know and you know I if I'm sure most of you would have heard it all right All of You Will Smith right thinks that he was defending the honor of his wife okay and he went up see Men Express themselves
00:52:17 okay because they're physically stronger with aggression women if they want to get what they want all right because they are not so physically strong right they do it what with their mouth with their words emotional black male all right or whatever but men is usually with uh physical aggression and this is what is happening it's what we call toxic masculinity all right and he he thinks that he's honoring his wife but you know what this guy has an open marriage right you know what an open marriage means it means both the husband
00:52:51 and wife can see other people and when you can see other people what you're telling your wife you are BAS telling you you are not I do not love you enough to be exclusive to you okay I need to see other people in order to have more fulfillment that's a terrible thing to do in this picture I think Chris Rock probably is the bigger man because he never retaliate right of course you know we always have advice like that all right guys please don't beat your wife gently okay this was advice given by uh you
00:53:31 know some Deputy Minister okay violence is never an option all right so what is the husband's role very quickly all right my time is almost up all right um it is to take initiative right leadership right as we have seen before as how Jesus defined it made is servant leadership you remember the case where Jesus was washing the feet of his disciples that's the attitude and the mentality of leadership that we want to talk about here all right it leadership at the end of the day is about accountability accountability uh we all
00:54:16 have this mistaken idea that you know if you are the the man of the house right you have authority many people interpret that as a sense of entitlement you know we are entitled to bark our orders around and our wives are supposed to uh follow those orders unquestioning uh uh without questioning it but that's not true being a leader in the house is to fully serve all right your wife and your children okay so the love that we're talking about here is first and foremost sacrificial again you see dying
00:54:53 to self okay uh it's also sanctifying okay because it says that the husband should you know wash uh uh uh should should wash the wife with the word of God okay that means you are the spiritual head of the family and your wife spirituality is your responsibility right it doesn't mean that you the wife cannot advise you but that's at the end of the day your responsibility your accountability and of course it is service oriented okay you're always thinking always thinking what is the best way I can serve the
00:55:35 interest of my wife right and not myself and that is why Paul gives the analogy okay you serve incidentally uh is very interesting you know wife submit right but Paul doesn't say husband you rule husband you love it's also very interesting that the verses right pertaining to husband is twice as much as to the wife okay he gives the analogy that love your wife as you love yourself we all love ourselves right okay so that's the idea now painful realities it's true even in Christian marriages what if your
00:56:22 husband doesn't lead the way he's supposed to or your wife is not submissive as she should should be well the answer from the Bible is in First Peter 3 now of course this is talking about in a marriage situation where one partner is not a Christian but I think this principle also applies in a Christian marriage because you are arguing from the greater to the Lesser all right if you can do this for for your non-Christian spouse you can certainly do this for your Christian spouse that's the idea so wives in the
00:56:54 same way submit yourself to your own husband husbands why so that if any of them do not believe in the word do not follow the word is a non-Christian or is a Christian who doesn't want to obey the word what they may be warned without words by your behavior as a wife so wife don't go and neck neck neck neck or go and preach preach preach preach preach what it is saying is that you can win someone over by your life by your action okay and husband it says all right in the the same way be consider it as you
00:57:28 live with your wives all right or your non-Christian wife or your wives who does not obey the the Bible all right and treat them with respect as to the weaker partner and as as with you okay now I'm going to close in a minute and uh in summary okay Paul's instruction right is sandwich between two important fundamental pillars if you like of Truth you need to be spirit filled in order to get the empowerment from God in your vertical relationship right to obey what you should be doing and what you should be doing is
00:58:18 anchored in the foundational design of what God had intended in marriage in the first place that that wife submits and husband love and both husband and wife's role finds a supreme example in none other than our Lord Jesus Christ isn't it in the greatest gospel story of all even though he was equal with God he submitted fully to the will of God he asked God to take the cup away and God says no he be the cup we sang earlier okay and for the husband we find the Supreme example of Christ when he sacrificially died
00:59:05 for his bride even when they Unfaithful when Jesus Christ was hung on the cross you think he was returning he was getting love from the people who crucified him unconditional and yet he went ahead with it I just want to end by a little sharing okay and I get a little bit emotional at this point something that happened about three weeks ago okay um my wife and I you know we made a trip to Singapore okay and I I don't know how to explain it h but when I was there uh I I felt uh ill okay uh ill not in a normal sense it was very
01:00:09 very unusual you know okay uh I was tired I was irritable I was um uh and I thought it was the stress of traveling you know going back to sing I hadn't seen my parents for over two years okay and I was uh um uh uh really beside myself all right I had a hard time pre breathing uh I lost my appetite uh I lost my strength you know um and my wife could see a difference I couldn't get out of Singapore fast enough okay uh and when I got back here I did not get any better okay now I I I just want to share this with you because it taught me
01:00:55 a very painful lesson okay okay the first one is this okay that very often our idea all right of uh mess or femaleness are screwed up they are they are all you know uh not in line with what the gospel says right at that point I never felt so low in my life before I I I couldn't explain it uh when I finally went to see a doctor he says it could be hormonal change or it could be you know I wasn't getting the nutrients that I I I need it okay but whatever I I can't explain it I try to rationalize it and you know being
01:01:32 an alpha male right I mean gangho right I refused at first to confide in my wife you know I must show strength you know that was my attitude but then she noticed a difference okay uh and she kind of took over all right uh coming back I had to prepare for the Ser you know last last week was my slot and so I I said okay I I've got most of it done anyway way I should be okay so I tried to tell myself right I was okay so I said so I finally mastered enough courage to go and share with my life please pray for me I'm not well you know
01:02:06 because I'm preaching this Sunday all right and then I went to sleep you know what uh anot call my wife all right and my wife says hey you have to do something arold all right my husband is not himself right and then Arnold right says yes I spoke to him I I noticed something is not right too okay because we had spoke earlier on and you know what our brother did he says don't worry CIA I take care of everything all right and that's how you know he took my place and then Peter was affected because he was supposed to
01:02:43 preach in another church right and then Peter now had to to take over Arnold's place all right um now the the reason why I'm sharing with this with you is that you know men we always try try to keep things to ourselves okay and you know what you don't have to because God has given you a helpmate that's what I'm trying to say and I was foolish not to make use of my helpmate to help me right so and and at that particular time all right who was the leader it wasn't me it was my wife my wife took over right and arranged everything
01:03:27 and I was so glad so glad that that happened but it also taught me another thing you know we talk about Christ and the church the church is you and I the bride all right we are one we are one with Christ and the second thing I learned about this painful incident right is the love of the church has for me all right says you you're not going to preach this Sunday I'm taking over right right and the next thing I know all right I call Peter before I can say anything Peter said hey right it's all arranged
01:04:02 tomorrow 11:00 sjmc all right you're going to get your heart check all right and then I went through the CT scan and everything you know and praise God you know there's nothing nothing there so why am I telling you this all right I'm telling you this is because as a church as a husband even as a wife there is a Oneness in all of us we can be vulnerable we can be transparent all right and I just want to close right you know we talk about marriage today I don't know where you are in your marriage uh you could be newly wet all
01:04:47 right still honey moon year they call it all right very good you know uh you could be married for a long time and is you're just cruising you know not sad but not very ecstatic as well all right okay or your marriage could be on the rocks and you're about to walk out and for some I know you may have even walked out but I want you to revisit the vision that God had intended for us in a marriage today and for for you I mean one of the Practical things I think we can all do after listening to today's sermon is
01:05:28 that as husband and wife I want you to go back all right not only to pray for one another but to pray with one another I mean when Edan shared a few years back I think about uh you know renewing your vows when he was in Israel you know and there was a nice picture of uh elain I think and uh you know mink right I I I kind of cringe you know you know but I now I think that that's not a bad idea after all all right all right that in your own way please go and renew your vows to one another okay my time is up and I have to
01:06:05 end let us pray dear heavenly father we thank you for your word that is so powerful and so rich we thank you Lord in that in your infinite wisdom you have have created marriage not only for our good not only for our happiness but also for our Holiness and that in your design of marriage you had intended and purposed it to mirror the gospel story the relationship between Christ and his church and what a marvelous story that is that we have the son of God God God himself sacrificially dying to self and loving
01:07:04 the bride even us when we do not deserve to be loved Lord I pray for all of us for those who are thinking of getting married and those who are already married and those whose marriage are in the Rocks I pray Lord that you help us to regain that lofty and Noble vision vision of what a marriage should be and by the empowerment of your Holy Spirit to live up to that ideal we will not be perfect in this lifetime but we know Lord that by your enablement we would truly move closer towards that ideal and
01:07:48 we look forward to the day when we will one day all witness the marriage of of the bride and the bridegroom even our Lord Jesus Christ we ask all this in Jesus name amen so we will now have a song of response and after that we will have the Lord supper thanks to thanks be to God for his word and his love towards us which is so richly lavaged towards us while we were still Sinners and so let's respond right now by coming humbly before him and singing a song and remembering what he has done for us on the cross for
01:08:36 every even though we may fail him he loves us I'm invite you to stand together with me let's worship Him [Music] oh Lord you search me you know my [Music] way even when I feel you I know you love [Music] me your holy presence [Music] surrounding [Music] me in every [Music] Seas I know you love me I know you love [Music] me at the cross I bow my knee where your blood was shed for me there's no greater love than this you have overcome the grave Your Glory FS the highest place what can separate me
01:10:35 [Music] now he goes before [Music] us you go before me you Shield my [Music] way and your hand upholds me I know you love me Lord I know you love me at the cross I bow my knee where your blood was shed for me there's no greater love and this you have overcome the gra Your Glory fills the highest place what can separate Me Now sing at the cross and at the cross I bow my name where your blood was shed for me there's no greater love than this you have overcome the gra Your Glory FS the highest place what can
01:12:14 separate me now you tore the veil you made a way when you said that it is done you tore the ve you made a way when you say that it is done and when the earth fall strong my eyes you stand before I know you love I know you love you sing now the cross [Music] where your blood sh there's you have over Glory feels the highest what can separate me now at the cross at the cross I bow my knee where your blood was shed for me there's no greater love than this you have overcome the grave Your Glory fills the highest place what can
01:14:15 separate me now let's see again at the cross oh at the cross I bow my knee where your blood was sh for me there's no greater love than this you have overcome the grave Your Glory fills the highest place what can separate me you tore you tore the veil you made a way when you say that it is done as you tore the veil you made a way when you said that it is done [Music]
