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00:00:01 uh good morning church today's passage is taken from 1 Corinthians chapter 7: 10-20 reading from NIV 2011 to the married I gave this command not I but the Lord a wife must not separate from her husband but if she does she must remain unmarried or else be reconsult to her husband and a husband must not divorce his wife to the rest I say this I not the Lord if any brother has a wife wife who is not a Believer and she is willing to live with him he must not divorce her and if a woman has a husband who is not a
00:00:38 Believer and he is willing to live with her she must not divorce him for the unbelieving husband has been Sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife has been Sanctified through her believing husband otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is there but if the UN believer lives let it be so the brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances God has called us to live in peace how do we know how do you know wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know husband whether you will save your
00:01:16 wife nevertheless each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them just as God has called them this is the rule I lay down in all the churches was a man AR already circumcised when he was called he should not become uncircumcised was a man uncircumcised when he was called he should not be circumcised circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing keeping God's command is what counts each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them this is the word
00:01:51 of the Lord thanks Florence for reading the word of God Sher we commit your time to the Lord in prayer dear Lord we thank you for today Lord thank you for Mother's Day and Lord thank you for creating the institution of marriage the Lord you have called individuals to be United together and become one flesh Lord as we look into your word today and understand what is marriage and why is divorce uh something that we shouldn't consider Lord I pray that you speak to us guide us and help those who are married to know and have
00:02:35 the strength and the power and also to know the reason why uh we can actually live victoriously as a married couple and for those who are seeking looking or considering marriage lot pray that you help them lot to to know what is it they should be looking for in a spouse or a partner next time as well L we thank you for this pray that this word of yours will go forth and not return white we thank you for all this in Jesus name we pray amen good morning FPC right today we'll be talking about marriage uh but before that uh let me
00:03:09 just quickly uh explain to you on the sermons is coming up uh chapter 7 actually has many interesting things but because of the audience we have we've cut it apart and we only go through what we should go through for today so um Dr Peter will going through gospel and sexuality next um next week and uh after that uh vincon will be covering the gospel and day of the Lord and AR know will covering also on chapter 7 on singl for today so today as we cover on marriage uh for I know many of us here maybe some of us are not married and uh
00:03:44 maybe you're single but I hope that we can see this as saying that is not that it's not relevant to me but as a body of Christ we learn it together and perhaps one day somebody will actually want to um require your help to actually share your opinions and and your wisdom as well so that may be helpful there's a bit of echo over here I'm not sh whether there something you can do okay now so let's go to our slides for it so today the sermon is titled the gospel and the gift of marriage the gospel and the gift
00:04:11 of marriage now let's look it together when we look at marriage I think when you reach a certain age kids if you're in secondary school Primary School you shouldn't be thinking about marriage okay you shouldn't be thinking of marriage but when you reach a certain age you may be thinking oh I saw that guy he is as handsome as Henry gold building or maybe it's as beautiful as constant wo and so yeah I think he's so nice you know and he smile look at his smile is so nice you know look at his eyebrows and therefore you say that I
00:04:42 want to get I maybe he's the one for me but how do you decide whether there's a person suitable for you how do you decide that yeah so I went online and search and these are some list of things that women want I tell it's correct or not so now one you must be taller than me apparently the Asian uh context is you must be 5T 10 in at least okay that is required you must go to gym I feel ready I feel ready okay you must smell yummy I don't know how that works but you smell yummy you be intelligent makes
00:05:13 me laugh thoughtful romantic loyal support my dreams and won't mind fake eyelashes and Nails that's quite interesting yeah so this what people say how about a men what are what are men looking for number one Exquisite in appearance I wrote in a very politically correct way right exquisite appearance uh respects me hits drama and arguing guys don't like to argue we don't like to talk about anything actually right fun and optimistic lawyer and has my back takes care of me doesn't try to be my mom at this you try to be the mom of
00:05:45 your husbands uh my wife doesn't so I thank her for that she's listening as well doesn't get jealous okay with my weaknesses accept me my right must accept me right and gets along with my friends now these are things that we have and look over our spouses we have our own criterias and normally what we do is this we look at them and when you see different people in the crowd what you do is you start scoring them if a single you start scoring that and see how much points they have so perhaps some of them get 90 marks again only get
00:06:13 50 marks if they only get 40 marks they fail okay so you actually score them and if they say hey this one meets a okay then we can talk and see whe the other person scores you also if both you scores well then you get together is that how you do it well in actual fact a lot of people do that how you consider people in a way these are things that people think think about and you consider people and and you do your evaluation and after you get married now but what if after marriage your husband becomes like
00:06:42 this what if husband married after marriage they become Homer they lose their hair right I actually think men without hair is actually quite handsome but me lose all I don't lose half okay uh you get a big tummy then what do you do then you start wondering did I make the wrong choice uh now I'm not condoning you looking like Homer Simpson please but uh basically we shouldn't call quits easily but what does Scripture say over here now scripture today we are looking at Corinthians 7: 10 it says to the mared I give this
00:07:15 command not I but the Lord a wife must not separate from a husband but if she does she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and husband must not divorce his wife so it says that this is a command right right a wife shouldn't separate from husband if she does separate she should not look for uh remarrying again and husband should not divorce his wife so if you look at the text before this actually what it was saying is for some reasons which you know next week uh people actually decide to say that U I don't
00:07:47 want to be married anymore uh we don't click anymore uh she's not suitable for me I'm trying to be a holy person and this person is not so holy so can we just divorce her you know as a Christian the person maybe it's not Christian or maybe the person I have certain preferences and they don't have it can we just divorce because we no longer compatible and scripture says the answer is no you should remain married but the question is why why should we remain married who created marriage anyway is it for convenience is it for commercial
00:08:15 is it a social item that's created just by society and therefore if just created by people it can just remove it you know just like a occupation just like a job if it's not no longer necessary remove it so you go to the Western Society a lot of people choose not to be married because it say stifling they say they actually you remove the freedom of a person and so this is something that people think about should I really get married can I just stay together instead of getting married can do that and so
00:08:41 when we look at scripture the answer is marriage is a gift from God marriage is a gift from God okay now how do we know that let's look it together Genesis 2:18 says the Lord God said is not good for the man to be alone I will make a helper suitable for him now if it wasn't a man who said that hey I'm lonely can you find me a a person it is God who said that it's not good for you to be alone so if you know Genesis it starts by God saying everything is good good good good very good they all benediction
00:09:16 benediction benediction but this is the first time in the Bible that God says something is not good now mind you this is before the four so before there was sin in the world there's something that's not good which means human are not meant to be solitary creatures who live alone even though God created you amazing but actually it's not good for to be alone you need to be together in a commune you need to get to be with people and so God says is not good for the man to be alone and therefore God
00:09:50 made a helper suitable for him so this is the context now but when we approach marriage when we approach looking for a spouse whether we know or not think about it and see seriously think about how you actually got together with your wife lot of times you may have considered we can chat very well you know and therefore I can I'm good at work and she's better at this other thing and we complement each other's skills and so what you're doing you're doing a transaction where we know a lot of times when we approach a i a spouse
00:10:21 or we looking for a partner we try to see how can we fit what are the pros and cons and so you're trying to do a deal it's a deal that we doing and when you do the deal you want to make sure you make a profit which means that you actually get more than you give you get more than you give and therefore why do you get into arguments because you feel that you've done so much at home and the person is not reciprocating you work so hard right let's say for people who are you know wives who are working as well
00:10:51 you work so hard you come back and then your your husband expects you to continue working while he actually watches the TV this not correct La you know I give so much you don't give so much then you actually argue so what we do is we are always looking into the scale and see are we actually getting our profits are we actually balance is a books balance if the books is not balanced then what do we do how do you approach this and so if you look at all these things that you see over here what women want what men want I ultimately
00:11:20 what we see is actually it's always about what I want I when someone is taller than me I want someone to support me all right uh for the guy side respect me okay takes care of me but cannot be too much and become my mom so we have a lot of requests and we look for a lot things we look for a wife or a spouse but what we want to tell you is actually because of this when you actually keep on looking for things if you look at marriage as a transaction it will be very tough and after a while if your books don't
00:11:53 balance you talk about divorce you talk about divorce why because you say that you know the ls of commitment the person is not committed I give so much it doesn't give there's always arguing you don't agree on the same thing People marri Too Young there's a financial difficulties so the answer is this when you get into dating it's always nice one but when Trouble Comes When Storms of Life come when disasters come what do you do if you see the news a lot of times when financial difficulties come to
00:12:25 couples who are very rich diverse comes together many times divorce will come together why because something in a marriage is actually not working when the books no longer balance you have a problem so today what we going to do is really understand what is marriage and the first thing to understand is marriage is a gift from God it's not something that you enter Because of convenience or for profits or because you just want someone to be real you marriage is a gift from God now let's look at together it says here the Lord
00:12:55 God said is not good for man to be alone I'll make a helper suitable for for him now when we think about the word helper what we think of is helper so therefore I get married to get a helper is that what you think about think a helper this is what I think about but if you see the word helper in the Bible the word helper actually is a word easer and the word easer is being used is actually a militant term okay it's a military term and when you see is even used to describe God is actually like a savior someone that comes to save
00:13:29 you so if you see Deuteronomy 33 here it says blessed are you Israel who is like you a people saved by the Lord he is your shield and Helper and your glorious sword so you can see here God is your helper God is not your mate so a better way to depict is your wife is not a maid my wife has said it to me before you think I'm your maid so no okay she's not my m a better way to explain is your wife is more like this your wife is a savior somebody to help you in times of need okay but you see together to get together the word
00:14:07 helper suitable the word Cano here is actually someone that's like you but opposite you so imagine when you look at the text here it's talking about Adam you know the the epitome of creation when God created Adam was actually the the most the the most important of creation I was say and so you see it if I put Wonder Woman here makes sense all right so Adam is the old only one as a perfect one that God created so in a way you're supposed to your wives are your helper your easer right or help me and
00:14:38 therefore for you you are supposed to be helper to your to your wife as well so you supposed to be like this as well to your wife okay supposed to help each other during your journey in life so this is how you should see it helper St for him now what is the easer supposed to do what is your wife supposed to do okay so there are many things you have in life but I just highlight a few things that uh to share with you uh marriage is a very big topic but let's try to cover a few things for you first
00:15:06 one the easer or your helper okay is supposed to help you to become who you're supposed to be so when you become together you're supposed to see for example you know the way to saying is this when I see my wife I'm supposed to see the good in her and I want to help her in this journey of making that come true so when you get together with a person first thing for you to understand is that you get you're getting together with a person that is work in progress the guy or the girl they're looking at he is actually on his best
00:15:43 performance after marriage it changes okay because the stress is not there but the answer is no matter how we are all on a journey and so as helper for each other what we're supposed to do is help each other in this journey to say that you know my husband has this good qualities but what do you do when you see sometimes you know he you see it sometime he's not there when he's tired the good qualities goes away so we are we are that's why it always says that we are not always who we are supposed to be
00:16:12 when we not tired maybe we very friendly but we tired we don't do that but what we are saying is when you look at this your helper is there to guide you and help you in this journey to becoming a better and better person that's the first thing the second thing the helper is supposed to do is to help you to remove things that are not supposed to be there when Michel Angelo was asked how he car the statue David a very famous statue in I think Florence right uh what happened is he said it's simple I just remove
00:16:43 everything that is not David which means that as your partner as your wife as as a husband okay or as a as you yourself as a wife husband you're supposed to help to see that you know if your wife or husband has something qualities is not so good you're supposed to help help to let them know and help to walk together and journey together to remove these items that we have that they have that are weaknesses so we look at it inide of saying that these are things I want as you journey together you find
00:17:11 that there's more and more challenges and you need to work together to solve the challenges and witnesses that the person has now Ephesians 5:26 says over here to make her holy cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a Radiant Church Without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish but holy and blameless in the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies a lot of times we as husband and wies we do that we see the fault in people and
00:17:40 we start say you know you shouldn't be like this you're always late you shouldn't be so nasty to people or whatever is we say you need to spend less money put money put more money to the side and be nicer to my parents always rude to them don't even say hi whatever we we have over here right the way we are saying is the way you should help each other it's like you treating your body if your body has a wound how do you treat it do you actually treat it gently or do you just simply rub it and remove all the dirt you don't right so
00:18:11 when there's actually a weakness in your body when there's a problem you will treat it gently you will not try to hurt yourself in the same way you love each other and help each other in this journey of life so that's the first thing for to know marriage is a gift of God and God gives us our partner so that we can help each other when we go through challenges in life the second point that we have is marriage is a commitment marriage is a commitment now what do you mean by that in verse 12 it says to the rest I say this if any
00:18:43 brother has a wife who is not a Believer and she's willing to live with him he must not divorce her and if a woman has a husband who is not a Believer and he's willing to live with her she must not divorce him for the unbelieving husband has been Sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife has been San ifed through her believing husband otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is they are holy so the first part from verse 10 to 11 we say that it says that we should remain married but in verse 12 it says
00:19:13 what if at first both of the couples are not Christians and one of them become a Christian when one of them become a Christian it becomes very hard to live together at times uh there was this uh person who give a very good example he said that you know why it's very when my wife has become a Christian because I feel that there's a third man in the house whatever that my wife wants to do instead of listening to me my wife listens to This Man Called Jesus and ask him what does he think is he happy about
00:19:44 it or not my wife no longer just talks to me and have decisions so in this case sometimes marriage can get very difficult marriage can get very difficult and the question is being stated over here what should you do when this happens okay can you ask for divorce now since that there's one Christian non-Christian can you do that but if you see he saying that if your husband or your wife is still willing to live with you you must not divorce you must not divorce for the unbelieving husband has been Sanctified to his wife which means
00:20:17 that the husband who's an unbeliever it doesn't become a Christian but in a way somehow is a special place in the eyes of God what does it mean we can't tell for sure but in the eyes of God there's something special and next one and the unbelieving wife has been Sanctified through the believing husband otherwise your children will be unclean but as it is they are holy now you can't pass your faith down but what we know is this perhaps because you are Christian because you believe in the Lord Jesus
00:20:43 and you live your life in a different way in a way they are actually having a special privilege to see how Christians live and from there they actually get a glimpse of how they're supposed to be and perhaps because of you the things that you do they will change and they will come to Faith so the way to look at it is you do not call quits no matter what the Christian will always try their best to stay in marriage now over here we can cover all scenar but for example in cases of in the in the Bible do is
00:21:12 the diverse allowed yes diverse is allowed in case of adultery or for example in cases where your life is actually in danger your wife wants to kill you and so you need to actually leave yes for cases of physical abuse uh where your life is in danger of adultery there are grounds for this but idea is always this you do not think about dios unless it's really really something that you cannot avoid I hope that gives you all an idea of it so the answer is why do we say so because marriage is a commitment it's not something that you
00:21:42 enter Because of convenience but it's a commitment look at verse uh 23 over here from Genesis the man said this is now bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh she shall be called woman for she has taken out of man that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is United to his wife and they become one flesh Adam and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame if you look at it what is marriage in Genesis 2 is here is is number one when Adam says this is my bone of my bones and Flesh on my flesh
00:22:12 he saying that this is like my flesh and blood it means commitment now you are part of me already you're part of me so if you're part of me it means that I'm totally committed to you second one so when I commit to you when you get married you're supposed to leave your father and mother leaving you're supposed to leave your father and mother and join a new um form a new body which is one flesh what does leing mean living means that you leave your family and you form a new entity together with your
00:22:47 wife and so this sometimes has a challenge when people become married they don't really leave their family they always say that you know in my previous family my mom actually does all the cooking and therefore when we have a new marriage you should be doing the cooking I I said that my father last time earned 100,000 a month and therefore you should earn 100,000 a month so we have this expectation so when you leave your marriage when you actually become one flesh with your husband or with your wife you're
00:23:22 supposed to leave all the items from the back and form a new body where have your own consensus on how things work you can't say that oh I wish it was like that because everyone is different everyone is different so for my mom and my wife is very different okay um my mom does uh the cocaine she does the work last time and all that so she's a really Superwoman she goes to work uh from I think six something like that she goes to work when she comes home she still Cooks she cleans she does everything but
00:23:53 for my my wife is different she doesn't she she goes to work as well H but she doesn't do that much of cooking but she helps me run an organization that's actually way bigger than whatever my mom was doing so there's a lot of things that my wife can do and when we did a renovation the house she did the entire thing which my mom can't do but she can do so my mom always said my wife is very capable so we can't have the right we can't have the same expectation and said that oh you can do this but on top of
00:24:16 that you must do all the things my mom does I must do all the thing my my dad does last time we kind have such expectation so we must leave our father and mother when we do that next one we supposed to be having this transparency and acceptance before that there's another which is United you're supposed to in one flesh okay supposed to one flesh together with your husband and wife which later I will explain bit more but ultimately marriage is a commitment so when you are really committed to each
00:24:42 other with this foundation with this bond that you have right he can be fully transparent Adam and his wife were fully naked but they felt no shame so whatever you have whatever um habits you have however you are you can be fully transparent and therefore marriage is very powerful because your spouse has access to your true self your spouse has access to your true self when you meet each other at work in church you only see what I show you for the few minutes or hours that we are together but your wife or your husband
00:25:16 sees everything about you everything and so there's immense power given to the spouse because of this Union together yeah so because of this this immense power that you have this is something that I want you to think about it's very eye opening when I go through this spouses have immense power now um I read this book by Tim K which I share with you later but basically what he said is that all of us are brought up in a way whereby we hear a lot of words from our society from our friends from parents from Young if you are from a
00:25:57 Chinese family Maybe maybe you heard things like say okay so stupid useless in the old days they said things like it's better to have a piece of to eat rather than have you and I just see a video recently they asked where am I from the child was asking some you may seen it they're asking daddy where am I from they said oh you are actually collected you from the rubbish beIN we hear all this and me you go to school you go to university people said that you're loser loser there are a lot of things we hear all these things and
00:26:33 therefore whether we know or not in our selft talk you think about and say your selft talk is it really positive is it always positive do you say things to yourself that you are useless you said I fail again I'm no good I can't even preach properly I forgot what I'm supposed to say do you say it to yourself answer is yes I think all of us have thiser of talk because we have been hit again and again by people from Young until we are old even now we're still being hit by people yes or no but your
00:27:04 spouse has immense power to overturn all this because he or she knows you so much if your spouse says actually you're very kind person you're very hardworking you're very handsome it makes the whole world change I myself thought I was ugly or this well my my you know parents CH Chinese parents you never say good things about your child and when you when you actually become teenagers your your your guy friends won't tell you you're so handsome guys don't do that right we don't do that so I always thought I was
00:27:44 actually quite ugly you know and so I smile last time I couldn't even smile properly until I met my wife seriously until my wife and then actually should tell me this before before we got married before after marriage actually quite handsome now so actually not bad not bad not bad but friends I hope you understand this everything spouses if you are married you have immense power in your hands the question is with this immense power that you have will you choose to uplift your spouse say you can do it your boss say
00:28:19 you're not good but it's okay go on let's work hard let's do it or do you actually destroy person say so useless until now so like that how do we actually use this power given to us how do he use this power that God has given to us because of this transparency because I've opened my heart totally to you when you say a word and it is damaging is like very serious so therefore Ephesians say we should speak the truth in love so we can grow to become in every aspect the mature body of him who is the hate that is Christ so
00:28:54 do we choose to build or destroy but many times what happen is for us when we speak the truth in love we think that when we say something to our spouses we think it's just like a Nerf gun shoot not painful one y so lousy terrible are you always late cannot do this one okay you have your own versions of whatever that is being said but the truth is you're not using a Nerf gun you're using a rocket launcher you look again gone already die already all the ambition that the guy has or all the time that your wife want
00:29:26 to make a good meal for you or go do something romantic together all gone because of what you said so without you knowing you not you've been using ner gun sh sh sh every Sho shoot shoot but it's such a rocket launcher you're killing your wife you're killing your spouse and you do that and so with this commun because of the bond that's so strong you need to be very careful because as Spider-Man says with great power comes great responsibility which is from the Bible to whom much is given much is required so therefore use your
00:29:59 this uh responsibility properly I want to share with you a story when we talk about the easer right you're supposed to help each other remember easer is like a a savior a person that actually helps you so when you look at it I going to share with you a story that by Tim Keller uh this is a very good story and so I need to try to read a bit of it for you to see because it's really very very good now how do you help your husband and wife you try to tell them things and you agree and they're supposed to change
00:30:27 right but do they always change no they don't always change right they don't change easily and so what happened was Tim K actually went to New York to open the new church which is a redeemer and between husband and wife they had an agreement saying that I'll be busy for 3 years after 3 years I will slow down already okay you heard of that before okay after I just busy for after that I I slow down already but after 3 years he didn't slow down and he told his wife give me a few more months a few more months said I slow down a few more
00:31:00 months pass already but nothing changed so he was continue busing busing and one fine day it was a beautiful day he came home from work he came home from work and he heard a very loud crash something broke and after a few seconds another broke he was panicking what's happening he ran upstairs to the balcony and to his surprise he saw his wife on the ground there were two s like this broken on the ground what happened he saw his wife his wife was holding a hammer and so Tim ask ktie what are you doing over
00:31:44 here what are you doing and Katie said that you AR listening to me you don't realize that if you keep working these hours you are going to destroy this family I don't know how to get true to you you aren't seeing how serious this is this is what you're doing and she proceed to smash another one why I see wife very powerful so an is being Splash being smashed then team K started panicking I mean why do that you go you you think your wife go crazy right so he said no no I'm listening now I'm finally
00:32:19 listening so they talk and Tim ker really listen when when team K started to really listen KT actually saw that okay then Katy gave her gave him a hug and now don't try this at home don't try this at home right but why this story is very good it's want to show you what happened so they sat down they talk and after that Tim said that I realize that she was intense and laser focus but she was not in a rage she wasn't going crazy she wasn't berserk she was intense focused but she was controlled emotionally she was totally cool she
00:32:57 spoke calmly but forcefully okay she spoke calmly but forcefully now give me a minute right so after talking a while then Tim actually asked hey when I came in you were so angry and smashing the dishes and sauces how come you can so quickly turn around and ktie said this actually right it was no meltdown do you see these three sources I smash I have no cups for them the Cups have been broken over the years I had three sources to spare I'm glad you sit down and listen before I need to break more the power of a very smart wife can
00:33:43 you see that how powerful is that sometimes maybe you need to teach each other but you need to give each other the space and be willing to listen to each other because it's true if you keep on working if you give all your time out and you don't put time in your family what will happen to your family to me marriage is one of the most important Ministries is not the most important for me in fact the first Ministry I'm supposed to have is my wife to take out my wife then my children then the church so I think none of you
00:34:14 will tell me to do it the other way correct so this is something I think we can all understand but God has given us a spouse and it's a very precious GI gift for us to work together to live together and go through things and learn so we need to give each other the right to hold one and accountable and I want to stress this part many times when we get together when become married sometimes we come to a truth think that these are things I do that are not good and these are things that you that you
00:34:43 do that not good we don't speak about it we let it be we keep it quiet we let it be I don't Bing you you don't Bing me we do that but is that really God glorifying because we're supposed to watch each other help each other cleanse each other so they become better right so these are something that for us to know about and so some people say what if the feeling is gone the answer is is when you have your baby last time was it do you have a lot of love feeling when your baby was first born for the first
00:35:12 three months they keep on crying and pooing and eating and sleeping you did everything and don't get anything return but you keep on doing it why because it's a commitment and when you keep on doing it the feeling grows and it grows and it grows and grows so the same goes for marriage if you keep on actually looking at it the feeling will come if the feeling is not there you work together you talk about it but answer is marriage for stter is a commitment you commit to each other and you forgive
00:35:41 each other why because Christ forgive us because Christ has forgiven us we can actually forgive each other and walk together in this journey love is a vision the feelings we follow now the modern marriage F you can see over here I knew you were the one when I realized that you are truly are a better person I admire you and look up to you for all the good you bring uh to this great big world so if you see over here all the things that being said are things that oh you know you're so good now you're so good now I like you
00:36:11 because of this but the traditional marriage R have nothing like that it's always about my commitment to you in the future it's nothing to do my feelings it's nothing to do with how I feel it's my commitment marriage is like that you commit to something you do not change no matter what happens whether person goes to hospital where a person is sick where a person needs help where person goes to financial distress whatever it is you commit and you continue working at it so for the singer some things to share with
00:36:39 you first one if you are saying that how about me well God is your easer okay the true easer is Jesus Christ okay God is your easer God will be the one to help you and God is the easer through the church as well through your community people around you but for those of you looking for a future spouse I just wrote something for you because I think we have some Youth and Young adults here in case you're wondering how do you know whether you should be considering marriage and how how to choose the right partner first one you
00:37:07 need to be old enough so my for my children who are 10 and seven no not now H okay not now you need be old enough to consider number two you can't force it don't try to force to find a partner trust God and don't rush it but first thing is try to understand and know a person pray ask your mentor and Friends that's why you see how important a body is to know people around you so that if you see this guy you can ask the other person hey how do you think what do you think is it okay or not so a lot of
00:37:37 times we only see the goodp but other people can see way clearer but I think there are two main points I think we like share with you one is this do you have a common horizon or not between you and your partner do you have a common Horizon what's a common Horizon what do you look for and what are you going towards do both of you see the good and bad in you and you want to commit to say you journey together which mean you see him actually having some very bad quali and say I really don't want to do with
00:38:03 it then it's not stable but if you see the good and bad of the person you say oh I think I see this way but I still want to try the journey together that is actually a better sign so discuss with your mentors and Friends a bit more but is something that I try to make sure that for the singers can think about as well so if you are interested go and find this book and find a bit more uh there's a lot to cover and actually the the marriage sermon that he has is I think about seven or nine sermons all
00:38:25 together so there's a lot so you can go through and C yourself the F uh third thing marriage is Ministry let's look at it together verse 17 nevertheless each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them just as God has called them this is a rule I lay down in all the churches was a man already circumcised when he was caught he should not become UNC uncircumcised was a man uncircumcised when he was caught he should not become circumcised circumcision is nothing and
00:38:55 uncircumcision is nothing keeping God's command is what counts each person should remain in in the situation they were in when God called them you see how how Paul thinks it's always not about you changing your circumstances it's always about what can you do in this circumstance you're in because God can make can bring good out of all situations God can bring Glory out of all situations so you're asked to leave as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to you whatever you're going through God has approved it God
00:39:26 has approved whatever situation you've going going through now if you're married currently God has actually allowed you to be married God allowed it so don't look to leave but look to see how we can use it for his Glory Ministry to each other and actually Ministry to others as well so the circular view of marriage is two people looking at each other look at each other you look into his eyes he looks into your eyes how beautiful you are this how SEC marriage is but the Christian view of marriage is
00:39:58 both of you looking towards the horizon and saying that we are going there that's where we are going and so this is something to share with you when we actually look at the Christian view of marriage it's not just what I want it's not what I like but is actually saying that I hold your hand I commit to love you if you do something wrong I will forgive you why because is a reflection of Christ Christ forgave me and therefore I can forgive you and I know that you have flaws I know that you're are witnesses but we can work together
00:40:31 in this journey and most importantly I know you are working progress and I am working progress and we walk together to this journey in this journey of Life towards the same goal which is to meet Christ so better I read this to you yeah so over here as a very good term that I think I can share with you the finality of this is this when two Christians who fully understand this stand before the min all decked out in their wedding finer they realize they are not just playing dress up what they're saying is
00:41:04 that someday they are going to be standing not before the minister but before the Lord and they turn to see each other without spot and blemish and they hope to hear God say Well done good and Faithful Servants over the years you have lifted one another up to me you have sacrificed for one another you held one another up with prayer and with Thanksgiving you confronted each other you rebuke each other but also you hug and you love each other you forgive each other and you continually push each other toward me you continually push
00:41:40 each other toward me why because for the best thing you can do for your husband is to push him towards Christ the best thing you can do for a wife is to bring him towards Christ because he he or she become the best version of he or she is and that's the best thing you can do for each other and God says now look at you you're radiant you're beautiful now that is the picture of marriage for us so as today is Mother's Day I want to cover a few things before we end as well being married is not easy but
00:42:18 having children is even harder amen Noah marriage harder is it being a mother is not easy uh but I want to share you one thing which is a lot of times mothers are always uh especially Homemakers people who stay at home uh they have this issue I've spoken to many so I can tell this is true one you talk to them ask oh what do you do uh what do you work as are you working the answer is oh I'm not working I'm a homemaker I get very offended by that actually you are working you're doing something very important you actually
00:42:53 control you actually controlling the Affairs of the home there's so many things that you're doing to make sure that the children are okay to make sure that the family is okay to make sure that the souls and character of the people are there the culture of the family everything comes from you so mothers I think it's very important for us to know that mothers are very important mothers put in a lot of effort and so we need to know that don't talk about don't just say that Engineers are good scientists are good
00:43:20 but every single role is god-given and they all important as well so I want to share with you um this uh verse it says The Hand That Rocks the crater is the hand that rules the world The Hand That Rocks the crater is the hand that rules the world when young we learn maybe in your BM you learn [Music] before dun I think it's from here this are many many hundreds of years ago The Hand That Rocks the crater is a hand that rules over it shows you how powerful uh how important uh Mother's role or parents role is now I want to
00:43:56 put it all together for you to see how it worked uh this happened yesterday I didn't plan it happened yesterday I was sending my children for a enrichment class and as I was sending my children for enrichment class I saw a young boy about 6 years old uh together with the father collecting rubbish cleaning the floor I thought this very interesting don't know why why is the boy here cleaning the uh collecting rubbish together with this with this cleaner I saw this person two or three times and as I was driving my car was leaving the
00:44:32 building somehow I felt compelled to stop the car I felt compared to stop the car and talk to this person so I stopped the car and I went to speak to the um father and say hey I saw your son here I let's try a conversation and as we speak and speak we realize that actually he told me that this is not my son this a saara the mother got uh knocked by a car and died and so now he's help to take care of this person and after that I heard this and said oh so so how does he go to school he said no he doesn't go to school no
00:45:10 money it doesn't want to do it also so like that can you imagine a boy forever doing this what will he grow up to become for Malaysian children they have they can go to primary school but because he's actually Foreigner he can't yeah so after that I made a few calls and because I know people from Al Shai I spoke to them and so happened these people stay in caou ARA and El Shai just opened another branch in caou ARA and we spoke about it and now most likly they are actually going to consider sending
00:45:40 him to this U school in K ARA for learning from Monday to Fridays but why I'm sharing this to you is because you see I'm not perfect as all of you know but I think this shows you I show you why I can do this why I do this first one is actually I grew up in the market with my mom my mom is a Chinese medicine seller she works in the Pasa she sells medicine I know that from all this while she feels a lot of inferiority complex that she's doing that sometimes but because of the work I did together with
00:46:12 her I spent few years together with her after school before school I was actually always in Market to working together with her to me everybody is the same everybody's equal so when I see this little boy I see myself I was young I was helping out in the store and I said this boy is good working like this you become strong next time you'll be daring you can do things other people cannot do you can do because you gone through this pain and these challenges so it's because of my mom that I'm actually able to see these things and
00:46:40 able to do it and from Young my mom always tells me this always try to serve God always and when the business was a bit better she always tell me okay I earn enough ready I need to go and serve God ready enough it's time to serve God I wasn't doing anything but she was telling me time to go and serve God already this is a way of which putting Christ in the family and why am I allow why am I able to do this when I'm married and I have one flesh with my wife because I know my wife wouldn't mind she supports me and
00:47:10 she's kind to people and she will understand all this as well so it's because of the marriage the strength over there I don't need to worry that my wife is call me said why actually go and talk to them why I give money to them I don't worry about that because my wife and I are one and because my of my mother teaching me I am able to do this but also because of the body of Christ somehow I know people from Al sh so you see how everything comes together and God can work now the world has not been
00:47:38 shaken there nothing to you maybe it's nothing big but for this little boy perhaps his future will change so because it happened yesterday I felt maybe it's suitable for me to share it with you toly understand this is something that when you are taking care of family when you look into your parenting when look into your spouse relationship it's more more than M it's more than M and my after I last night I told my wife about this and um she told me that apparently I think thank God that some of this uh the way we behave
00:48:10 trickers down to our children so apparently that day my wife brought one of my son for cutting his hair and um what happened is he keep on telling my mom mommy mommy can you give me one ring in advance mommy one ring advance I want my allowance one ring Advance okay okay give one ring he took that one ring he went a donation box and put inside that really W my heart I didn't he didn't tell me that my wife told me that I was like oh something is right something is going right despite all the things is wrong something is
00:48:39 right yeah so I think it show shows to you that ultimately what you doing matters ultimately who's the next leader in the world who children become adults children become adults in the future and who they become depends on what you do now so therefore I think for us we need to be a to see marriage differently don't call quits work together with it with a common Horizon and as we do it love each other forgive each other and walk together and help your children to become more and more like Christ as well
00:49:14 so Al the F the fourth point is the marriage is founded on Christ it's not easy to walk this journey amen amen is it easy to be a Christian or not and someone tell you it's difficult it don't you just just let you need to work on it it's not easy but what I want to share with you is if you're one fish is very hard but if other people journeying together it's easier so I encourage you to be connected to a live group connected to people so that you don't need to Journey this alone because it's very hard to
00:49:43 actually live alone what drives us where do we give this power where do we get this power to to serve to love to forgive from a true easer from Jesus Christ because he died on a cross for us while we were're still Sinners while we have all the flaws he accepted our flaws and he saw the good in us who we can become and he actually love us and he support us and because of that we can do the same for our wives we can forgive we can help each other and the same goes for our children as well so Jesus Works
00:50:14 through other so today what I want to do is as um the key B comes up stage here yeah um what we're going to do is this and for the whole worship team as well I think so I show you that Jesus loves us and but a lot of times it becomes very abstract Jesus loves me loves me yes Jesus Loves Me But I want to share you is Jesus loves you through the people around you if you as we sing this song again the goodness of God you you see the words he says that your mercy never failed me all my days I've been held in
00:50:49 your hands from the moment that I wake up until I lay my head I sing of the goodness of God where do you see God being here how has God always been with you what I want to share with you is God has always been with you through your spouse God has always been with you through the brothers and sisters that you have not just a voice there but he's always working with you you don't see it but God is always there so I want you guys to think about this and I know that time is running but I hope you guys can do
00:51:23 this I'm just going to give you three minutes okay just three minutes and as the as a team plays and sings this song gently I want you to just if you're sitting next to your spouse I want you to just talk to each other for three minutes what are you thankful for in your marriage what are you thankful for in your husband and wife perhaps because of time reasons we can't cover all this you can take photo of this if you want but me just this one thing get the first point only what are you thankful for
00:51:58 in your marriage because your wife is with you what what are you so happy about this one point only okay children can also say what do you see good in Daddy Mommy if you sitting together I never mind just one point don't go to the rest okay so I'll pass the time over to the worship team and later we'll sing the response song to [Music] end okay thank you brother John for the sharing can we all arise we sing this song Together sorry sorry sorry so you don't need sing sit down sorry again H husband wives everybody
00:52:40 sit down I just want you to think and Ponder I don't want you to rush sit down Ponder think about your wives your husband for those who you are single you can pray for people around you as well the worshiping s are goodness of God then later we'll proceed to next okay thanks [Music] for your mercy never fails all I've been in your from the moment I wake up will of the goodness God my life you have been [Music] faithful my you have been so so good with every breath that I am oh I will sing of the
00:54:25 goodness of God [Music] you have me through the fire in Dark Night you are close like [Music] the you the father you as friend I have in the goodness of [Music] God my life you have been [Music] fful my life you have been so so good every bre and I am oh I will sing of the goodness of [Music] [Music] God as a keybo is continue to play can I ask all of you to [Music] stand I believe that many of us have not really learned about what marriage is we just enter into it based on whatever notion we have and so I think we've done a lot of
00:56:16 mistakes we've done a lot of wrong things as well but can I ask you this do you want to have a better marriage do you want to have a better situation at home whereby there's less fight there's less arguments and for you to really realign and say that we want to walk together to this common Horizon holding hands and going towards our Lord Jesus Christ so friends I want to ask you for this as uh the team sings One More Time the same song goodness of God if you say that you want have a better marriage
00:56:57 I want to ask you to come to the front for prayer if you feel that my marriage is worth it I want to work with my wife I want to make things better for each other I never knew that I'm not supposed to look at each other but look at a common Horizon and I didn't know that I was holding a rocket launcher all as well I ask you to come to the front and speak to God why why because when you pray you are not just here in this realm in not just here in this reality you're in two Realms you're actually going to
00:57:31 the throne room of God and asking God to intervene to help you to go through the challenges and give you the strength and when you pray things move therefore as a worship team place again if you say that I want to vote on my marriage I ask you to come to the front men I want you to take the courage hold your wife hand and come to front so that we can pray for you and look into saying that one day we can be spotless blameless in the eyes of God and our children can become great people at the same time goes for the mothers out there
00:58:09 it's not easy to be a mother not easy to be a father as well if you need help for parenting come to the front so we can help you who can pray because when you pray God moves so as we sing Come and for the leaders and you can come to the front as well so they can minister to the rest wait okay let us continue to sing verse two I love your voice you have through [Music] the you are like no other known you as father I've known you as a friend and I have Liv in the good God all my life you have been faithful
00:59:25 [Music] all my life you have been so so good every breath that I [Music] am I will sing of the goodness of God your goodness is running after it's running after me your goodness is running after it's running after me my life laid down and surrender now I give you everything your goodness is running after it's running after me your goodness is running out it's running after me your goodness is running after it's running after me with my life laid down I Surrender now I give you everything your goodness is running out
01:00:49 it's running [Music] out the front is still open if you are interested can come to the front but let me just give you the benediction as the team continues playing leader can I have the benedic benediction okay yeah I got it right receive the benediction the Lord bless you and keep you the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace our worship is uh service session is over wish you a good time of Fellowship outside uh please leave this
01:01:29 whole quietly for those of you who want prayer for anything else whether it's for your marriage whether it's for your parenting or anything else you can come to front as well and when you come you it's not a sign of weakness but a sign saying that you want God to help you in your life
