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00:02 This is a company known as Nix Jump. It's an interesting company. They
00:10 they turn over two billion a year in their transactions. Is an e-commerce building. If e-commerce
00:17 company, those of you in HR, you should read how they do HR. It's really
00:22 interesting. Uh they don't do staff appraisals quarterly. They do it weekly. Uh it's
00:29 very interesting. They they tag you with people when you come in. Everyone's given a mentor. A mentor works with you.
00:38 There's a completely different way of doing uh workplace culture and um they
00:43 he's done a TED talk on this. These are the two founders. Let me just explain one thing which Charlie Kim the founder
00:49 of Nick Jump said you have when you work for this company and you sign on the
00:54 dotted line it's a lifetime employment. They don't fire people period unless the
01:01 company goes under. You could steal from the company, do CBD and they won't fire
01:07 you. It was such a radical change and it was a change that was so thoroughly thought
01:13 of they documented it. You can get it online, you know. And in an interview Charlie Kim, they asked this goes
01:20 completely against the grain of every multinational. Now, I'm not saying you should do it. And he said this, he gave
01:26 a very profound example. He said, "If your son or your daughter had a problem,
01:32 would you kick him out the family?" He said, "No, unless it's really bad, but you won't. If someone in your family
01:40 was wasn't doing well, was was a real black sheep, would you get rid of that
01:46 person?" No. And then he turned it around. Don't we always say that your company is your family? And the reporter
01:54 said, "Yes." Do we practice that? And so what he is doing is he's taking a
02:00 family value, a value from the culture of the family and transposing it to work in its most
02:08 ultimate sense. You know most companies when they tell you rah rah we are family is all BS man. They when things go bad
02:16 you know this is what they do to you. Me and Richard were talking and Rich and I we were WhatsAppapping. Some people
02:23 write contracts. What does Richard call it? Richard call it is the Hotel California song. You know, you can get
02:29 up but you can never leave. And Christians write contracts, you know, which are completely ungodly.
02:35 Now, what's the point here? The point is that the company built a business model
02:42 on a family model or we can call this a holistic relationship. how your family
02:48 values goes into your work. So today we're continuing on in our series about
02:54 cultivating healthy relationships. This is basically part two of what we spoke of last I think a month plus before and
03:03 the question is in the case of Nick's jump is family values that went into
03:09 work and this morning I want to propose something how does your church relationships
03:15 affect your family your work and your personal life is that that holistic
03:22 connection and I just if you're new to us this This is a series we're going to end. Let me just give you the big
03:28 picture. The first three modules we did were looking at general large picture
03:33 issues. How your family affects you, how the mind affects you, and how this two affects decision. Then we did three
03:40 modules on on issues that were very specific. Self-esteem, anxiety, and disappointment. Now we're looking at
03:47 three more modules and we'll end the year. And you look carefully, the modules have all got to do with one thing. Relationships.
03:54 relationships and that's what we're going to look at today. Now I'm just going to give you the whole text. Uh
04:01 just now sister Salomi just gave us the text. I'll give you the whole context of it of Colossians chapter 3. Quite
04:08 interestingly in end of chapter 2 Paul talks about dying with Christ and he
04:13 opens chapter 3 with being raised with Christ. Now let me just give you a few words to give you a big picture. You
04:20 have your heart. You have your mind. Verse five onwards is Paul's list of
04:26 things you don't do. Interestingly, the things you don't do involve what you say
04:31 and what you do. So here we have your heart, your mind, what you say, what you
04:37 do. He counterbalances in chapter 12 to 14 and what you say, what you do. Then
04:42 there's relationship with everybody, extreme people, 11, all sorts of people.
04:48 And then verse 15, he talks about now he shifts to the third voice. If you look carefully from the second person to the
04:55 third person. So here's how it goes. Your heart, your mind, what you say,
04:60 what you do, how you relate to one another. Verse 15 is how you relate in the group. Then verse 18 is how you
05:07 relate in a family. Versus 22, how you relate at work. You don't get more holistic than this.
05:14 You completely do not. It's probably the single chapter in the whole New Testament that wraps everything. your
05:19 mind, your heart, you and one person, you in a group, what you say, what you do, family, work, church, and the lynch
05:28 pin is the middle verse we just read. Now, let me just pull it back. This is what
05:34 you and I are every day. And let me ask you, what goes in the
05:40 middle? What's that middle question mark? What would you put there?
05:48 Now the the cliche answer is me at church. I propose to you that's wrong.
05:55 It's not me at church. Is we emphasis we.
06:03 How you and I relate in church is the
06:08 cornerstone completely misunderstood, completely
06:14 underestimated. You know why you have problems at home?
06:20 You know why you have problems with your boss? You know why your family is not
06:26 doing well? Because you didn't join a life group.
06:31 It's true, right? You love. But I joined a life group. My family
06:36 still messed up because you didn't talk to you love. But but let's go down that
06:42 trail. You know what I mean? It's we as a family
06:48 building each other up, loving each other. Here the verse is very clear. And
06:53 above all these virtues, put on love which binds them together in
07:00 perfect unity. That's the holistic foundation. And we miss this. Today we
07:08 want to just tell you a little bit and explore that about how the church as a
07:14 family affects every aspect of life but more so that's the purpose of the
07:19 gospel. Now the Greek rendering of the word salvation if you read is called
07:24 soua is more than saving you from hell thank you very much
07:30 is about renewing you that's the Isaiah prophecy is taking you from death to
07:37 life that's chapter 2 of Colossians to chapter 3 renewing your mind your heart
07:44 your words your actions you in the family and you at work How do we know
07:50 this? Because if you look at the end of chapter 2, he says this in the last
07:56 verse, verse 20, since you died with Christ.
08:02 And then chapter 3 verse one opens since you have been raised with Christ. That's
08:09 the gospel. Let's see how that works out. So there are three things we want to look at
08:14 today. God's purpose for our church relationships, God's values in our
08:20 church relationships, and let's have some applications in the practice of holistic church relationships.
08:27 Now, let me just give a simple given. God has a higher purpose for all
08:35 relationships, whether it's family, whether it's work, whether it's church,
08:40 than personal happiness. Now I posit to you the reason why human
08:46 beings very simply go into relationships is personal happiness.
08:52 We are wired for intimacy. Some people keep dogs. Why? Because they
08:59 call it man's best friend. Because you go home, you don't want to go home to empty house. Why is it a baby brings a smile to you?
09:07 Why is it you you tie to family members? Why is it everyone has this innate
09:13 craving to find a life partner? Why is it the body releases oxytocin in
09:18 these kind of things? Because that is your DNA. And I posit to you on a
09:24 subconscious level. All of us go into relationships. Whether it's your children, whether it's parents, your
09:31 spouse, church is about meaningful relationships and because we want to be
09:36 happy. Now keep that thought in mind. Uh in this movie, one of the most classic
09:42 scene is what we call the mahajong scene. In the majong scene, Michelle Yo faces
09:48 off. I forgot the name of the others. What's the name? Jamie. Right.
09:55 Sorry. Rachel. Rachel. Okay. Thank you. Family. That's why wives and daughters are here. So in
10:02 that majong scene, Michelle Yo posits something really interesting for Asians
10:08 to look at and I think something for us Asians to consider. He says, you know what, you Americans, you only look at
10:14 personal happiness is is a jab. It's a typical stereotyping from the Asian side
10:19 on the west. You westerners are all individualistic. No offense to David and Jeff and
10:26 respective spouses, not talking about them at all. But there's a general impression that the west is individualistic. You people look at
10:33 individual happiness. We we we Asians, we don't she's now gone to moral
10:39 superiority. I know I I look after my family. I understand duty. I understand
10:45 failure priority. She didn't say those word, but she's inferring that. Now that's is a loaded statement.
10:53 Have you ever had a case where uh you were you were young and you felt you were a
10:59 disappointment to your mom or dad or you felt you were neglected as a child because there three kids and you weren't
11:06 the favorite one. What do you do? You went to school and you tried to do
11:12 harder and did things so you can go back to your dad and say, "Dad, I want this."
11:17 Why? because your happiness was in getting approval from your dad or your
11:22 mom because you felt neglected. That's what Michelle was saying. My happiness
11:28 is in my family, is getting my husband who maybe
11:33 mistreats me but affirms me. My happiness is found in my spouse who
11:41 doesn't come back home. He's always out. I don't know what it does but affirming me. That is so human nature. That's what
11:49 Michelle is saying. But the comeback from Rachel is classic. So if you know
11:54 the movie, she basically says, "You know what? Your son wants to marry me." And her her jaw drops. And she she she then
12:00 lays it down. But I said no because I didn't want him to choose. Now here the
12:06 bottom line. When we make our personal happiness our goal, whether that's seen
12:12 in your your family or your spouse or you at work, that happiness has a cost.
12:21 And what Rachel is saying is that I don't want that my happiness comes at a cost of your unhappiness.
12:29 You let us sing that in is very, very profound. So here it beggars the question if it
12:36 isn't personal happiness it isn't a happiness of my family what it is of
12:43 course the cliche answer Christians are full of cliche answers you know oh I'm doing it for God hallelujah
12:50 what exactly does that mean oh honor I spent a lot of time in church I'm doing it for God really I think you're doing
12:58 it for yourself you're filling that vacuum with purpose.
13:04 So here is one text which is really interesting and highly misunderstood or mis never picked up because this text
13:12 explicitly tells you your main goal why you come to FBC. The big picture of our
13:19 purpose statement is to love each other as God loved us. We sang that. But how
13:25 do you narrow it down to a position or a practical reality? And here is what Paul
13:32 says. He says in verse 15, there's a section verse 16, you teach and admonish
13:39 one another. We'll go a bit into the context of that. But teach and admonish
13:44 another. Now, we're going to explain how is done through wisdom and psalms. But
13:49 here's one question I want to ask you. When Paul says teach and admonish one
13:55 another, who is he talking to? Is he referring to Peter,
14:01 Yidian, any other unnamed elders? Is he referring to the pastoral team?
14:09 Who is he referring to? Is he referring to the life group leaders?
14:15 He is referring to who? Now you find the key verse 15 because verse 15 he says
14:21 this. Let the peace of Christ ruin your heart. Sin says members of one body. The
14:26 members of one body is who? Everyone. So when you go to verse 16 and you see
14:32 teach and admonish one another, who's he talking about? All of you. You know,
14:39 so here's the purpose of relationships. You are to teach and admonish one
14:45 another. Let me put in simple English. Your job is to change me.
14:54 My job is to change you. Not for your sake or my sake, but God's
15:00 sake or to put it in one author. All of us are people who need change, who need
15:08 to change others. That's your mandate. And you do it in two ways. Teaching and admonishing. Now,
15:15 the moment I pose that to you, what's your first reaction?
15:20 Not me. Why? Let me tell you why. Have you noticed
15:26 churches have a big back door? There's a very big backdoor. There's a
15:32 very big front door, very big back door. One of the thing that really affects me
15:37 is that in the last few years, we've seen many people come to church and they
15:42 they they ground themselves in our church. They they they serve they they have a moment where they feel they
15:48 belong and then they throw themselves in the church. they serve in many ministries and I begin to track it you
15:54 know they they will settle for two years and then at the end of the one year plus
15:60 they they are not very happy and then there's a complaint there's a complaint they they talk to us and that and after
16:05 two years we don't see them very often they move to another church
16:10 now the other thing is there's quite a lot of people from other churches who come here now here not we're not here to
16:15 judge anyone but I think there's a question we want to ask because why do people move they looking for a church to
16:22 suit them. But I think Yulan picked it up.
16:27 Maybe it's not so much that you you that you need to find a church to suit you.
16:33 You need to change. You need to change. And the problem with churches nowadays that we are so
16:40 consumerdriven, we can position the church to get a certain crowd. You want to have a church full of young people.
16:46 There's one big church in PJ who has been taking people from many people. All young people they worship. Wow. So
16:53 you like those kind of whoa worship. You go to that church. There's another church who's very good in Bible study.
16:58 They're so deep in the Bible study. You're intellectual. You go to that church. There's another church that does
17:04 a lot of healing and a lot of lot of makes you feel very what you like that you go to that church. So it's
17:10 marketing. But I think this morning we want to ask that the issue is do we want to change?
17:19 Do we want to change and tell you why we don't? And I want to tell you about one person who's probably the most famous
17:25 person in Malaysia. Now, now let me ask you,
17:33 he's got relationships with a lot of very famous people.
17:38 Is his relationship with these people healthy?
17:43 Simply not. Now, not here not to run him downh. I think he's been a butt of many jokes already.
17:49 The simple thing is his relationships with all these individuals basically
17:55 demonstrates a a a very common thing of how we view relationships whether is at
18:01 work or home or church is called transactional relationships.
18:08 I give you something you give me something in back. So Leonardo DiCaprio
18:14 you have no money. I have got $400. I give you you go and act in my movie.
18:21 Actually, it's not even his manila, but that's another story for another day. Actually, it's your buddy by the way.
18:28 It's transactional. So, Lunardo de Pepro is now his friend. Is that a relationship which is deep and
18:34 meaningful? It's completely not. It's based on a transaction. Now, if you follow carefully, all our
18:41 relationships are transactional. No, because of our sinful nature. Because man's sinful nature is centered on self.
18:48 So when I come to church, what's the first thing I ask? What can I get?
18:53 I can't get it. I go to another church until I find something that I can get. Maybe I don't like the worship here.
18:60 Maybe I don't like the way the preaching is like. Maybe I don't like the way the church is run. Maybe I don't like the
19:07 people here. So I move and move and move and finally I find somewhere where I hope I can fit in. I fit in after few
19:15 years I can't not satisfy I move to another church then I move after I get tired I settle in the church and I sit
19:21 at the back w that's painful but that's the truth and the truth hurts
19:29 and that's why your family life your work life your personal life is disconnected because you have no
19:36 spiritual deep roots in the family that help you support you in these areas
19:42 because On a subconscious level, all our relationships are transactional. Now
19:48 here the other thing about transactional relationship. Transactional relationship are based on perceived self value
19:55 or to use a term you'll understand is your net worth and you don't need to talk in terms of money you know is how
20:04 you value yourself. One of the most interesting things I saw on Facebook was about this lady. You can read it. I'll
20:10 read it to you. She says it comes with great sadness. I'm announcing the cancellation of my wedding. Apologize
20:15 for cancelling only four days beforehand. All right. Unfortunately, I broken up. Blah blah blah blah blah blah
20:21 blah blah blah and the rest of it. Basically, she's very unhappy. Everybody stabbed her in the back. Everyone is so
20:27 and so. How can you do that? What kind of family you are? What kind of friends four days? Shame on you. She's really
20:33 upset. What caused this big hoo-ha that she canled her wedding 4 days
20:40 beforehand? What? What did you guys do to her? Now, here's the big sin all of
20:45 you did. Listen carefully. This will change your life. Not really, but I
20:50 specifically I mean specifically asked for cash gifts. How could we have a wedding that we dreamed of be the profit
20:56 funding? We sacrificed so much and only ask each guest for around $1,500
21:03 US. Rupia, which is sliding down. Whoa.
21:09 Now before you think that it's extreme in her mind it's about perceived value
21:18 how can you I only get married once actually in in a case I don't think so
21:23 only5 that also cannot give now you think carefully we come to
21:29 church with the same mindset there are two extremes one
21:35 I'm hurt I'm coming to church to see how you can
21:40 help me overcome my hurt. Honor, I I I can't serve. I I got so
21:47 much baggage. Go and ask other people who are more spiritual. But the text isn't saying
21:52 that. And I've been in church for one year and none of you come and help me.
21:59 Actually, they're not very true. Some people tried, but they don't meet your expectations.
22:05 Hear that? That's that word again, expectations. And I throw to you, all of us come here
22:11 with expectations. And then we leave not feeling satisfied.
22:17 Then we move and we move and we move. So let's look at how the text looks at
22:24 relationships and look at what Paul says first. If you look at the ones I put in red, he he wraps the entire message in
22:31 Christ. That's the peace of Christ. Verse 15, there's a message of Christ. verse 16 there's a name of Christ verse
22:37 17 everything is in Christ and then in 13 to 14 he gives a very profound things
22:43 bear one another forgive one another forgive as the Lord forgave and then
22:48 that classic verse put on the virtues of love and and sometimes when you get unhappy in church
22:56 uh you pause and you go back to why you became a Christian is because God loved
23:03 you why did he love you because of what you did? No. He loved you because of what he did. Did he love you because of
23:10 your self value? No. Did he love you because of some good
23:17 deeds you did? And that is word that's inferred. It's called grace.
23:22 And you came to Christ because of grace. And so God says, you stay in the church
23:29 because of grace. You stay in FBC. You bear with each other and together we
23:36 work it out. Or Henry Newan puts it probably the most simplest. We are all
23:42 healers who can reach out and offer help. And I propose to you whatever you are going
23:49 through that's you. And we all patients in constant need of help. So even if
23:54 you're in financial trouble, your emotional need, your marriage is messed up, you have a disease,
24:01 you are here to teach and admonish
24:08 each one of us. You are here to teach and admonish me. You're here to change me. I'm here to change you. We fail to
24:16 do that. We are not church. It's a simple truth. How do we do it? Now
24:22 that's a bit more difficult and here's a simple way of doing it. Someone do some advertising for you. Now one thing that
24:30 we want to track FBC is our progress. We started the year about trying to move
24:36 people into small groups and you cannot change one another by coming on Sunday. This too big. You can only change one
24:43 another if you're in a small group. And now we're in October and one of the great things uh uh Pastor Jo did this to
24:50 me. The ones we flagged in green are all the new groups that have come up. So in
24:55 in 10 months, we're not even hitting 10 months. Seed 2 came up, ohana came up,
25:00 beta plus came up and the worship team understand three groups are trying to form. You actually form count campus
25:07 ministry within campus ministry. I understand there are nine groups already.
25:12 So people are trying to change, be part of the change. So, I'm going to
25:19 encourage each one of you. Why are you not in a live group? Why are you not in
25:25 a small group? Why is church not in your center?
25:30 Because if you don't have that, you would struggle with your work. You would struggle with your marriage. You would
25:37 struggle with your personal sins because there's no one to support you. So I'm
25:43 going to encourage you all to consider visiting a group at least visit after
25:49 they're not all happy come and talk to us. But this is our challenge to you. Now when what happens in small group
25:56 let me just go through and here's a simple thing about how people leave church they they spike they get happy
26:03 and then they leave. We won't go to that but let's go to values in our church relationship. Let's talk about how we should do that. And uh one of the most
26:11 interesting things about Mark Zukenberg is how he dresses. It's become very profoundly documented because he dresses
26:18 the same at work, at home, and when he goes out. He's always having the gray
26:25 t-shirt. Now, is it because he's so poor he can't afford? I think a little bit, not true.
26:31 I forgot how many billions he had in the bank, but I'm quite sure he can afford a few Armanies.
26:37 But why does Mark Zukenberg only wear t-shirts?
26:42 Why? So there's a lot of documentation on this and and a lot of theories put
26:48 forth because he doesn't tell you. But the most plausible theory I heard which I thought really made sense is this at
26:54 his net worth right he's making many many decisions on a daily basis that
26:60 goes into millions of dollars. So people like them they are very trained to think and to select how to
27:08 use their brain power. It's a bit like Mahhat Elon Musk does the same thing. You read Elon Musk Tesla he has the same
27:14 mindset. So meaning he's not going to waste his time thinking about things
27:19 that not important. So basically when it comes to dressing he just grabs this. So what are we
27:27 saying? He's got the same cloth. He's clothed himself with the same thing
27:34 at work, at home, at uh outside he goes. And he's subconscious. He's clothing
27:40 himself the same, the same the same. His clothing so often he just opens his cupboard, he grabs something and that's
27:47 the same cloth he has in every aspect of life. Paul uses same word. He says cloth
27:54 yourself. But it's not a polo t-shirt. You clothe yourself with five qualities.
28:01 Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. And these five qualities go to what? It goes to your
28:08 family life. Because the rest of the verse, verse 19, is about family. You cloth yourself when you're at work
28:14 because it talks about slaves. Is the same thing. You cloth yourself when I'm talking to you. You cloth yourself with
28:20 this when we are in a big group. You cloth yourself this when you talk and when you do. Five qualities. You cloth
28:27 yourself. And it's got to be so embedded in you, it's subconscious.
28:33 It's a simple truth, but very difficult to practice. Let me just break this down a little bit. You know, people says the
28:40 little things we do or don't do that reveal our true selves. Let me ask you a question here in ABC. Are there people
28:48 here yet you don't like? Of course, you're just not going to say it.
28:55 There are people here who don't like me. Duh.
29:02 There are people here I don't like. Duh. But because Christians are supposed to
29:08 love one another, when we see each other, we say, "Hi,
29:13 how are you?" And that's it. I love him.
29:22 Now, is that biblical? Because scripture here is about what?
29:28 Teaching and rebuking everyone. Oh, cannot talk to him. She'll get into
29:33 an argument. Better I just keep out of his way. And and then many because we all have our baggages. We all have our
29:39 perceived hurts. U you know, I can't work with honor and worship. You know, he's very like that like that like that.
29:45 Chuch, please never role me with honor. No, no fight mitch
29:52 ministry. So I just keep out the person's hair. So the best way of peace is separation.
29:59 I I pause it to you. It's not biblical. And here is our archilis here. The achilles here for Christians is we do
30:07 not know how to engage with people whom we have difficulties with. In simple English, we don't know how to love
30:14 people we don't like. You can't even get on with someone you don't like. Don't say love your enemies. You're not even
30:20 there yet. So, how do we do it? Now, here's I think the position that we all
30:25 have. Let me take Matthew 18, which I think is the most one of the most abused verses in the Bible. The reason why
30:32 people cannot practice Matthew 18 is because it's not in the spirit of the second great commandment. We don't know
30:39 how to love people the way God loves us. Because when you go to a issue with another person, each person wants to put
30:46 across his view. So if I come to you and say you know I
30:52 don't like the way you do things in I don't know in church worship too noisy.
30:58 So the other person gets defensive you know oh lot of people don't think he's noisy ma only you think he's noisy ma
31:04 and then you start that we shall die radio. So here's the first thing Paul tells us and we can repeat this in many
31:11 scenarios. The first thing is that space that both of you open your mouth is
31:19 sacred. You know, because Paul says here in the context of chapter 3, not just
31:24 what we do, it's what we say. That's that's the context of it. So, let me
31:30 connect the two. If you're going to teach and admonish one person, number one, you cloth yourself with these
31:36 things. And number two, you learn to bear. You learn to forgive and you put
31:43 on love. Now, this is something we know here. I will pause it to you. We do not
31:49 practice it. I will even humbly go forth to say the longer you've been in church,
31:56 the more you are serving, the more higher you go up in church authority,
32:02 the worse it is. Why? Because you don't have humility. And the Greek word for
32:07 the humility here is the same word Paul uses in Philippians chapter 2 about the
32:13 Christ who humbled himself to the cross. Let me tell you how we do this. A very simple way of breaking it down. I want
32:19 to give you two ways how we can rebuke one another. And I think is something we
32:25 all struggle with. Here's the first thing which the text is telling us. Remember he opens the text with this.
32:31 You know he gives first the identity in verse 12. Therefore, as God's chosen people, that's what you are. And how are
32:38 you chosen? You are in Christ. He he he reminds you of your identity. From that
32:44 identity, he breaks down the quality of the identity. What's the quality of being chosen in Christ? Here's five
32:50 qualities. Kindness, gentleness, patience, humility, and so on. So, there are five. And then he gives a
32:56 demonstration how that's been practiced. Bury one another. So, here's the first thing we often forget. Remember whenever
33:03 you come up to person who says I don't like the way you manage the church it's too corporate or I don't like the way
33:09 you you you you do this program it's it's too secular or I don't like you
33:15 fill in the blank I think what you're doing is wrong or I say something today
33:20 you sit down there wow honor is so offensive so you do two things either go up to honor and throw him cow cow or I
33:27 next I see him I walk the other way correct or not it's either either fight or flight. And here's some basic thing.
33:35 The first thing is this. How is your rebuking making the other party see what God
33:41 wants them to see instead of what we want them to see? There's such a subtle
33:47 difference. You you you you see you you you mash two people who go into an argument. One guy
33:53 knows the Bible very well. The other person doesn't know the Bible very well, but comes from a corporate background.
33:60 the in in a fight like that, you move it to the arena you're most comfortable with. So the guy who knows the Bible
34:05 will keep quoting verses and he's trying to intimidate you. Correct? Now I intimidate you. I whack you with Bible verses. The other guy will shift it to
34:12 corporate governance because that's his area expertise. After the fight, who wins? Nobody wins.
34:21 In fact, you leave that discussion with a bitter taste in your mouth. And if we pause before we open our mouth
34:28 and see if what I'm saying is that person going to live closer to God, that
34:35 governs what you say. And that's so so difficult to do. And so Paul says, you subconsciously
34:43 soak yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience so it
34:49 comes out easier. Here's the second thing that we don't do is you're rebuking, proclaiming or shaming the
34:55 gospel. Because you get into a discussion with this person, you're getting so heated up
35:01 at Globe Cafe and you're complaining. You look at the food they produce here. The food is so chak you know this kind
35:06 of curry pop cannot eat one. What kind of curry p out there sell $3 some more? I go outside there SS7 can buy 250. What
35:12 kind of church is they trying to rip us off? You know, for example, and next door one guy sipping coffee
35:19 looking at you. Wow, this is FBC. Oh, this is church. Better politics than outside Harapan.
35:28 They don't care. You can have a conversation there and argue about anything under the sun.
35:34 Always know people look at you. So here's simple little things we do it
35:40 right. Let's go to a way of now pushing the bar.
35:45 And let me just tell you the practice of way. And there are two ways Paul brings up and they look completely unrelated
35:51 but they're very connected. The first is intentional relationships not just intentional with those outside
35:58 your comfort zone. The second one is even more unnoticed is worshiing.
36:05 In fact that's front and center. Let me just take this now. Look at what Paul says. He say let the peace of Christ
36:11 ruin your heart since as members of one body. That's the church member of one body. Where did he ground this verse in?
36:18 He grounded this verse in verse 11. Here there's no gentile or Jew, circumcised
36:23 or uncircumcised, barbarian, sentinian, slaver free. Christ is all in all. So verse 15 grounds itself in verse 11. Now
36:30 when you read verse 11 and those of you who are Bible scholars and you read Galatians chapter 3, have you not heard
36:38 a verse that's similar in Ephesians? And he also uses the word cloth. And let me
36:44 give you two other parts of the text which says the same thing. Look at Galatians 3. Not Ephesians war. You were
36:51 baptized into Christ. Look at that. Neither Jew nor Gentile. Look at that. Verse 27. Cloth yourself. That's what
36:57 Paul is saying. Neither slave or free. Male or female. And look at 1 Coronth 13. Jews or Gentiles, slave or free. Now
37:04 there are two things picking up here in these three verses. Number one polar opposites. Male, female, circumcised,
37:11 uncircumcised. in simple English PhD person chakel
37:18 seller that's what he's saying you know
37:24 Chinese Indian old young
37:29 rich poor family people single people
37:35 you see where we're getting at he's completely taking the whole opposite and saying this is church you don't have
37:41 that you're not church, you're a social club. That's the first point in three verses right across three epistles. The
37:48 second one which is quite interesting goes to identity because I highlighted it in the Galatian text and the
37:54 Corinthian text both talk about baptism. Then you say, well, it's not here really. Look at chapter 3 verse one.
38:01 Since you have been raised with Christ and chapter 2, the end of it, you died
38:07 with Christ. What's that? That's baptism. Is baptism inferred? What is
38:13 Paul saying? He's talking about identity. The problem why we have problems in
38:18 church is our identity is unclear. Once you are very clear, you are called to
38:24 God and you look at someone else as a brother, someone God has called to the differences fade away a bit. He gives
38:31 two classic stories in this. The one is the chap the book after this. Phileimon and Onimus not just a slave but a
38:39 brother in Christ. The Peter and Cornelius story is about circumcised and uncircumcised is particularly telling.
38:46 I tell you why. Because Peter is typical self-righteous church leader. All of us who are leaders
38:53 in church have that streak. We try to hide it but we have it. And he comes to Cornelius.
39:01 And what happens when he comes to Cornelius a person he doesn't want to because he's by nature Peter's a racist
39:08 we find it in Galatians he's downright racist. So to put in simple English is like a Chinese who's racist towards
39:14 Indians. You know the Chinese who racist towards Indians never tell you he's racist. But he let his guard down the
39:21 words come out. Not racist.
39:26 It comes out. Now what happens is this. when he goes outside his comfort zone
39:31 and he goes to meet Cornelius and the text is very clear of going all the way to meet him he says something which is
39:38 really interesting now I know God shows no fraism
39:45 now what has happened there is a very simple profound truth when you push yourself outside your comfort zone when
39:52 you after church service don't run away when you after church service don't go to the garden cafe and sit with your
39:58 kaki But if you intentionally find people you
40:03 don't like, people you're uncomfortable with, and when you go through that line,
40:09 that line where you're uncomfortable with, God does something to you. He teaches you something about yourself.
40:17 Now I know that suddenly Peter learns something about yourself. And that's why we go to
40:24 life groups, not that we want to, because it changes
40:29 us. And when you're in a live group, you invite people and you say, you know what, I don't feel like inviting that
40:34 person. But God says, invite that person. And when you invite that person, when you go to that line, God teaches
40:40 you something. And all of us have people we're uncomfortable with. Uh you may look at one community and says, you
40:45 know, I'm not comfortable that community. God says you go. And when you go there, God teaches you something
40:51 about yourself. And when he teaches you something yourself, you find later on changing
40:57 other people and changing yourself becomes easier. Now there's a very profound impact on
41:03 this for FBC. Martin Luther King says, "I have a dream
41:09 that my four children one day live in a nation where they will not judge by the color of their skin and by the content
41:14 of their character. I have a dream for FBC."
41:21 Not just me, I think all the leaders that each one of you intentionally
41:26 reaches out to someone you're not comfortable with. That is my dream. I think that's the
41:33 dream of every leader here. That each one of you this morning covenants to
41:38 look out here in this church and say, "Here's one person whom I'm not comfortable with, but I'm going to be
41:44 that person's friend." Can you imagine if each one of you does
41:50 that? Can you imagine if one of you does that and covenants I'm going to take that
41:56 person out for lunch. I'm going to talk to him regularly for one year or let's
42:01 go down to six months. You will change this church.
42:08 You will change this church. It will be a church where we all practice that
42:13 teaching and rebuing. If not, we turn this into a social club.
42:21 Indians will come in and say, "Wow, this is a Chinese church. I better go to Indian church." Young people will come
42:27 here like the millennials and say, "Wow, it's a old people's church. I better go to old person's church." Old people will
42:32 come here say, "Oh, very good, Lord Khaki. I'll stay in this church." You know where we're getting with that. But
42:37 Paul is very clear, neither Jew nor Gentile, circumcised, uncircumcised. In fact, when he uses the word barbarian
42:43 cynthian, cynthian is a pirate. You know, that's your chucky tail seller. That's your taxi driver. You know, the
42:49 church has to reflect that. Now, there's a mythological approach to this. Why? Because of the way the world's going. I
42:56 I owe this to Yulam's kids and my daughter. They're very well informed. We all know about LGBT, right? Now,
43:03 apparently, the world has changing even faster. Now, it's no longer LGBT. Now, there's a word called non-binary. Wow, I
43:08 never learned that. Non-binary refers to people who don't refer to themselves as male or female.
43:16 So now, no, you're no longer male or female. You're now gender neutral.
43:21 There's not only gender neutral, they're gender fluid. They're gender mix. In fact, it's no
43:26 longer LGBT, that LGBTQQI AAP.
43:31 And so you get very confused. Now unless we are used to mixing with
43:38 people who are different for us, you will not go out to the world. You will not reach out to communities
43:44 like this and show love. You will be inside your very moralistic uh uh
43:49 conservative group of middle-aged people sitting out there and yamcha.
43:56 But the world will pass you by and God will call each one us to a court. Why
44:02 didn't you go to those you consider unclean?
44:08 And there were the words God gave to Peter. So let me end with this. All right. And
44:14 the last point and it says here, let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another
44:20 with wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs of the spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your worship in your
44:26 hearts. Let's talk about worship. Now the NIV and the ESV has two different ways of reading this. The NIV says, "Let
44:33 the message of cry those among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with wisdom through psalms."
44:39 That means you teach and admonish through singing. The ESV had read the grammar the Greek
44:47 differently. It says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly teaching admonishing one another all wisdom,
44:53 singing psalms." is they broken up to the second part and the Greek is debatable.
44:59 Now I I like to posit to you they're both not quite wrong. Number one, we teach and admonish one another generally
45:07 through anything in small groups in what we say in your actions in what people see. But specifically
45:14 you teach through singing together. Why? Because Ephesians says this. Speak to
45:20 one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the spirit. Sing and make
45:25 music from your heart to the Lord. I'd like to ask Suzanne Adams to come up. I want to as they prepare themselves,
45:33 this is one area we very often forget. You see,
45:39 in the end, why why do we go into relationships?
45:45 Because we are wired, as I mentioned, for intimacy.
45:50 Now, there's two ways of finding intimacy with God. One is solitude. That's when you're alone and you be
45:57 still and you hear the voice of God as you open scripture. But how do you find intimacy in the
46:03 church? You see, everything I said to you just now can be cerebral. It's intellectual, you know.
46:10 And in this sense, the charismatics maybe have got it a bit correct. Not entirely, but they found something.
46:18 When people are here and they sing together and they raise their hands and
46:26 they look around and they're aware of each other next to them singing,
46:32 they remember heaven. Suddenly your neighbor who is an Indian
46:38 or a Chinese or Chotail seller or PhD disappears.
46:44 You are now in Christ. When you sing together and you raise your voices, suddenly the other person
46:51 who you cannot you know because he offended you lessens.
46:57 But what's the key? How do you worship together? Simple thing. You need to hear the other person.
47:05 Correct? If you cannot hear the other person singing is not worship, it's a
47:10 performance. So the key is you got to hear the other
47:16 person's singing. Now that's a completely another discussion on worship, but I pause it to you.
47:22 Scripture tells us when you worship and you're sensitive with the person next to you and you you hear them singing to God
47:29 and to you, you are reminded of that intimacy you have with yourself as family and with
47:37 God. So let me end with just one challenge with Francis Chan does. He
47:43 says this and I ask you to leave with this. If someone asked you to describe church using only the Bible,
47:51 what would you say? Or if I personalize it, if someone asked you to describe FBC
47:58 using only the Bible, how would you answer?
48:04 You live with that. And right now we're going to practice what we preach. Sister
48:09 Suzanne is going to share to you and then she is going to sing to you. And as
48:15 she sings to you, I pray God teaches you and rebukes you
48:21 as much as he rebukes me. And the Greek rendering for rebuke is simply correcting. And that we live after she
48:29 does this in a way so changed to be more godly. I'm going to leave the time now
48:34 over to Suzanne who's going to share something. Hear the psalmist's prayer.
48:41 Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
48:48 If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths,
48:54 you are also there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the
48:59 far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me and your right hand
49:05 will hold me fast. And hear the promise of Jesus to his
49:11 followers. Remember, I am with you always,
49:17 even to the end of the world. Because I've placed my faith in Christ,
49:22 I have the assurance that he is with me. And that gives me a deep peace.
49:28 And he's also shown this peace to me through my brothers and sisters in Christ all over the world who have
49:34 prayed for me in the face of a cancer diagnosis and the treatment that seems so cruel
49:42 and also my fear for the future. I know that whatever the outcome is,
49:50 he will hold me fast here now and also for eternity.
50:08 Heat. Heat. [Music]
50:31 Heat. Heat. [Music]
51:09 When I fear my faith would fail,
51:14 Christ will hold me fast. When the tempter would prevail,
51:23 he will hold me fast. I could never keep my hold.
51:32 Through life's fearful path, for my love is ofen cold.
51:42 He must hold me fast.
51:48 He will hold me fast. He will hold me fast.
51:56 For my Savior loves me so.
52:01 He will hold me fast.
52:15 Those he saves are his delight.
52:20 Christ will hold me fast. Precious in his holy sight.
52:29 He will hold me fast. He'll not let my soul be lost. His
52:39 promises will last. Bought by him at such a cost.
52:48 He will hold me fast.
52:54 He will hold me fast. He will hold me fast.
53:02 For my Savior loves me so.
53:07 He will hold me fast
53:22 for my life. He bled and died.
53:27 Christ will hold me fast. Justice has been satisfied.
53:37 He will hold me fast. Raised with him to endless life.
53:46 He will hold me fast till our faith is turned to sight.
53:55 When he comes at last, [Music]
54:01 he will hold me fast. He will hold me fast.
54:09 For my Savior loves me so.
54:14 He will hold me fast.
54:20 He will hold me fast. He will hold me fast.
54:28 For my Savior loves me so.
54:34 He will hold me fast. [Music]
54:57 [Applause]
55:04 God has spoken. Let us come to him in prayer.
55:10 And Lord, we thank you for how you have taught and admonished us through the
55:15 psalm that Sister Suzanne just sang
55:21 through a song of that encouraged us to hold on to you fast
55:28 as she sang about how she had difficulties with cancer and she trusted in you.
55:34 And this morning, the Lord's word goes out to all of you who struggle
55:40 with many areas of your life. And the Lord's word came from our sister
55:48 to teach and admonish us to hold on to him fast.
55:53 Lord, we are reminded this morning that our purpose in church is to change one another.
55:59 We all people who need to be changed and we change others.
56:06 We all imperfect and teach us to do that by clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness,
56:13 gentleness, patience, and humility. Teach us to bear with one another.
56:20 Forgive each other as the Lord forgave. And above all these things, put on love
56:26 which binds all of this in perfect unity. And we say this in Jesus name. Amen. I want you to look to the left and
