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00:00:00 the scripture portion for today's service is taken from the book of Hebrews 12: 14- 15 Hebrews 12: 14- 15 This Is The New International Version make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy without Holiness no one will see the Lord see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no Bitter Root grows up to cause trouble trouble and defile money here ends the reading of the word amen good morning First Baptist kongzi faai I hope I said it pronounced it correctly friends it's good to see each
00:00:58 and every one of you I thought many will will be um at home today with the with the late night reunion dinner ending yesterday and so it'll be few but it's so encouraging to see many of you here today this morning I think you all you all deserve a round of applause for [Applause] yourselves it's good to see y friends this morning I'm going to share with you on a topic that is crucial and deep because it deals with the very core of our inner being I'm going to talk to you about an area of our life that we seldom want to address
00:01:42 or deal with and sometimes we will live in denial saying that it is not an issue it is not a problem the reason we do not want to deal with this issue with this problem is because it is to do with our pride it is to do with our dented ego and so very often we would pretend that it does not bother us and we choose to ignore ignore it but deep down it is hurting us because it remains an unresolved issue from the past or even from the present that is affecting our present and will definitely affect our
00:02:28 future especially our ual well-being our relationship with one another and our relationship with God my friends this morning I'm talking about dealing with the issue of unforgiveness bitterness unable to forgive those who have hurt us and who are still constantly hurting us you know there are people who are still a pain in our life and causing misery and abusing us verbally physically before I move on further let's bow our heads and look to the Lord in prayer friends as your eyes are closed those of
00:03:14 you are seated here and those who are watching us live at this time or later on YouTube as your eyes are closed at this moment we are in the presence of a holy and living God a loving God our God our Father I want you to bring before your eyes I want you to bring into your mind those who have hurt you people who have betrayed you it is hard but if you want God to resolve this issue and you want God to deal in this area of our life then try to bring to your memory people who have intentionally caused you harm
00:04:00 maybe people who have assassinated your character on social media said nasty things about you bring to your mind all those who have hurt you who have caused you pain and misery maybe not only hurt you but also your family members your loved ones almost every one of us seated here have friends work colleagues siblings parents or other people whom we hate or resign or we resent bring them into our mind at this time father we come before your holy presence we know Lord in your presence there's healing there is restoration
00:04:45 there is reconciliation and we cannot move on Lord when we have bitterness and unforgiveness resentment in our life Lord I pray for myself and I pray for my beloved congregation here today father I pray at this time that you will open our hearts and minds and you will speak to us you will help us to forgive those who have hurt us those who are unable to forgive Lord I pray that you will speak and you will Minister unto us this morning be with me Lord as I Proclaim and declare your word and your
00:05:20 children as they receive your word we come against every work of the enemy we pray you'll open our hearts and Minds to your word in Jesus name we pray amen now counselors and emotional therapists tell us how unforgiveness can cause distress and brings issues like depression and insecurity to surface surface it has has a spiritual emotional and even physical effect on us on us you know certain psychosomatic problems like like migraine and gastric you know psychosomatic psychologically you are infected in your mind som the Greek word
00:06:17 for body your body begins to express that unresolved issues that you affected psychologically believe it or not one of of Dr Amanda RT's book a licensed medical health counselor published in April 2015 the book The Prison of unforgiveness one of her key points was unforgiveness spreads like cancer and I have dealt and prayed with people because of unforgiveness it started with gastric it turned into ulcer and by the time the doctors opened up and saw it became cancer it is connected to high blood pressure
00:07:03 now this is not my research but this is what um avender Ro says tells us it is connected to blood pressure weakened immune systems and even cardiovascular problems and that's that's just to name a few unforgiveness and bitterness is common and hard to deal with if you have met certain kind of people in your life you will understand exactly what I'm talking about some people have this uncanny gift of just hurting and bringing down others and it gives us such joy and pleasure when they see others in pain and they
00:07:46 just want to use words that will hurt you you know the very thing that will cause hurt in you and and they'll say that very thing and it's difficult but the word of God says that unforgiveness and bitterness is in fact a sin a sin that defiles us and the word of God as we just read from Hebrew tells us it's like a plant that can take root in US thus making it making it difficult for us to forgive and move on and many people many people live through bitterness throughout their life even over issues that took place
00:08:24 when they were child or when they were teenager and even in advanced age and sunset years they still hold on to the bitterness now let's look at the scripture portion that was read to us earlier Hebrews 124 to15 make every effort make every effort you make the effort make every effort to live in peace with everyone please underline that word in your Bible live in peace with everyone whether you like them you don't like them whether they've caused you pain or theyve brought you Joy whether they are a blessing to you or a
00:09:02 curse to you this is not easy live with in peace with everyone even sometimes it can be a very selfish self-centered neighbor or a colleague or a relative live in peace with everyone and to be holy without Holiness no one will see God verse 15 see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no Bitter Root grows up to cause trouble and defile many bitterness is like a plant it's like a tree it can grow roots in you and it can be and it can take root in your life and become so strong
00:09:49 that you cannot let go you cannot release you cannot forgive and when you live we live in bitterness it's going to defile us make us sinful before God some of us may not understand how hard is it to deal with unforgiveness and bitterness forgiveness is hard almost always it feels impossible to do because of deep wounds that has that has affected us or ongoing wrongs that people have done to us and this is a serious issue yet the word of God teaches us that by God's grace we can surrender remember
00:10:36 this word surrender that means sorry I'm not moving it why is it moving okay you all not doing anything right okay we have to hand over surrender our anger our resentment and learn to forgive give others just like how Jesus forgives us maybe you need to forgive your mother-in-law or maybe you not you you need to forgive your pastor or your elder or your friends from church or your neighbor or your boss or somebody whom you say I just want to avoid this person I want to have if possible I have nothing to do with this
00:11:26 person Colossians 3:13 this is what the Apostle Paul tells us bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has AG grievances a grievance against someone forgive as the Lord forgave you I read that again bear with each other we need to Bear one another some you got to tolerate people and forgive one another if you if any of you has griev grievances against someone forgive as the Lord forgive you now this is of course easier said than done that is because and this is important isn't very
00:12:16 carefully until the day we die until the day we hit the grave there will be people who will hurt hurt us nobody is going to be immune from this people who will wrong us people who will irritate us people who will be jealous of us people who will slender us because they got nothing else better to do try to ruin our reputation be vicious towards us and I can spend the next few hours keep on reminding you of the list of evil that people can do to us and if you say I've never been affected by any of
00:12:53 this thing then you must be a really super being now if we do not practice the character of Christ to forgive and move on then bitterness will begin to brood in us although it starts out small the hurt and offense borrows deep into our heart then we replay it in our mind he said that she said that he did this and constantly thinking about it and end up making deep ruts that will be hard to fix I would like to share with you this morning an Apocrypha story an Apocrypha story of a Deaconess now there was this lady in the
00:13:39 church that served the Lord Faithfully throughout her life and after an old age she went to be with the Lord now I told you ear it's an Apocrypha story she arrived in the Pearly Gates of Heaven and she was so happy so joyful that she can go into go to heaven and see the Lord whom she's been serving throughout her life now as she arrived the ply Gates of Heaven she was denied entry she could not enter into heaven and um she was unhappy with the angel who stopped her and then the Apostle Peter came and
00:14:23 they were still talking and she was very angry because she could not enter into heaven finally Jesus came down and begin to speak with her and trying to resolve the issue and she said Lord Lord I served you throughout my life as a deacon Us in this church I thought in Sunday school I shared your word to many people I drove people to church whenever the pastor not around I took the pit I I I served you Faithfully Lord I I conducted various groups why am I now denied entering into heaven this is terrible I feel
00:15:05 cheated Jesus looked at her with tear in his eyes he called her by by name he mentioned her by name and he said yes my daughter you served me throughout your life Faithfully but you know when your husband came and asked you for forgiveness for what he had done to you for leaving you and your children and moving with the other woman when he realized his mistake and he asked you forgiveness you refuse to forgive him many times he asked you forgiveness you refuse to forgive him and you also constantly reminded of
00:15:52 your father your husband's infidelity to your children you poison their hearts and mind and you turn them against him he died as a very sad man but he is here with me today for he repented and he regretted of what he did especially when he broke the marriage wow it broke his heart when I spoke to him my daughter in your prayer you always say this prayer faithfully and you always teach others to say the say the Lord's Prayer and you will say forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others isn't that your
00:16:39 prayer I'm a God of Justice you died without resolving this with such deep bitterness I know what your husband did was wrong what he did was terrible it crushed your heart but he asked you forgiveness I forgive many of your sins and mistakes friends whether you want to believe the story or not it's not is doesn't matter but what is important is it is told to illustrate a point a common habit with people struggling to deal with unforgiveness is retelling the hurt their hurts literally to everyone who would listen to them
00:17:31 including each solid detail by doing this we Garner the sympathy and support of others but it only pushes us further into the furnace of resentment the second someone mentions the offending person's name there will be a rise in blood pressure and causing an adrine rush I I went through this there was one time there was somebody in church that I hated not this church different I hate it I couldn't tolerate the person and one day my wife says so and so is on the phone and immediately my pressure will shoot
00:18:10 up but thank God the Lord is able to deal with me and heal that area in my life he was a church Elder a leader that caused a lot of pain not only for him but many pastors then they look for other reasons we look for other reasons to dislike the person even more sometimes the reasons are real but sometimes they are imagined regardless if it is real or imagined every new piece of information that fuels head adds to the thickness of what many call as a wall of bitterness within my mother used to tell me a story
00:18:52 you know when we were growing up you see uh This truly happened in her life when she was growing up there was an uncle who was cruel to my grandmother my mother's mother very cruel and as my mother was growing up her mother or my grandmother used to tell her stories and things that this Uncle used to do to them my grandmother became a widow at a very young age at I think at 28 she became a widow and she had four uh girls to raise up my mother was the the fourth and it was not easy but this person was very
00:19:32 cruel and my mother unrealized without knowing she had a bitterness to the towards his uncle whom she never met many years later many years later when my mom was attending a renewal Revival meeting in those days what is called ALC Abundant Life Center and while they were praying there was a lady there with a with who operates in the gifts of the Spirit the word of knowledge told my mother sister the Lord impresses upon me that you have a bitterness towards a member of your family a relative and that has wedged a
00:20:11 wall between you and God and that is why you cannot get closer to God and my mother began to cry and weep and ask who and then the spirit of God brought to her the words that her mother was telling her you see she has not met this Uncle but but words that were put into her told again and again the cruelty and the horrible thing that Uncle had done had built a wall in her and she could not get close to God she knew allthough she goes to church something was missing and on that day when she confessed to God to
00:20:49 release that resentment that wall was broken and she was able to serve the Lord freely in some cases of issues with unforgiveness and bitterness people fool themselves into thinking that the problem has no effect on them this is dangerous because the truth is anger and resentment have a way of seeping into every area of our being even to the extent as I mentioned earlier causing psychosomatic problems resentment is like a be beach ball you all know youall seen a beach ball right no matter how we try to submerge
00:21:35 it in the water it pops up with all his Vitality splashing everyone around us we have to deal with it now wont Avenue Baptist Church once wrote about a conquer about a about conquering resentment on their website they Define resentment in four simple words the cancer of emotions if you have your Bibles with you whether it's digital or you can look at the um the PowerPoint in Matthew chapter 5: 21 to 22 Jesus tells us you have heard and it was said to the people long ago you shall not murder and anyone who murders
00:22:17 will be subject to judgment but I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment again anyone who says to to a brother or sister raqqa or Rascal is answerable to the court and anyone who says you fool will be in danger of the fires of hell my friends what is God actually saying here what is Jesus saying is he saying by getting angry with people we are in danger of the fires of hell now you and I know that anger is a dis display of emotions we are not vegetable you know you go and
00:23:00 cut the the carrot or you cut the beans it's not going to get angry but you and I are emotional beings we can be wounded by words by actions and when we see something we will get angry something that we are unhappy about we will get angry we are emotional beings so anger is something natural to us but do we deserve to be thrown into the fires of hell for being emotional now to understand what Jesus is saying you and I need to use scripture to understand scripture we also need to use scripture to interpret
00:23:45 scripture in Ephesians 4: 25-27 this is what Paul tells us Ephesians 4:25 therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor for we are all members of one body verse 26 in your anger do not sin do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold verse 26 tells us in your anger do not sin so it is all right to feel angry it's all right to get angry but do not go and kick your dog because you're angry know sometimes you're angry with
00:24:30 somebody the car gets all the abuse we slam the car door or we hit the brakes or we slam on the brakes or we kick something or we H other people if youall read the newspaper recent just few days ago The Stepfather the mother's boyfriend was angry because the baby was crying and threw the child against the wall unable to control anger verse 27 tells us do not give the devil a foothold the Greek word for the word foothold is topos it means a spot now the the English word topography that mean study of an area comes from this
00:25:17 word topos a foothold now if we are not careful the enemy can take control of this emotion and what starts as a foothold will become a stronghold in your life few years ago my wife and I had to deal with a young girl who was possessed and because of bitterness and we found out when we were praying one of the a person she was bitter toward us was her mother and we had to ask her to forgive everyone in her family only then she was delivered anger is a display of our emotions but what matters is how we respond in that
00:26:06 anger this why the Lord gives us a practical application he says do not let the sun go down while you are still angry do not let the sun go down while you are still angry you know we are so angry the sun has already gone down the moon has already come up and we are still brooding in our bed how could he do that how could he say that I will deal with that person anger holding on to anger is what constitutes sin hatred bitterness that defiles us and you know why we are unable to forgive others or Overlook the mistake
00:26:51 of others even how bad horrible it may be it is because of pride that we refuse to forgive a person how dare he do that to me how dare the say that about me they have the audacity to ask me that I'm not talking about you you holy people I'm talking about myself and why we choose to hold on to bitterness letting it ripen and full become full grown resentment while it looks like we are are unable to forgive sometimes we need to face the fact that we are just unwilling to forgive I was praying for an elderly
00:27:39 lady lady once and uh because she had a lot of issues lot of problems and so her son-in-law who is a medical doctor told me can you please Pastor pray for my mother-in-law so I came and I prayed for this wonderful elderly lady but while as I was praying for her I found it difficult to breathe like something was clogged and I and I told her and I know when I get that feeling you know and I told her sister she was she was almost in the 80s and I told her sister you have so much of bitterness within
00:28:12 you you need to let go you need to let go you're already going to meet your meet the Lord and you cannot face the Lord with such bitterness and then her son-in-law also began to ask her look release forgive and she said no no I cannot forgive and who she going to forgive was her relatives they cheated me off my money they did this to me I cannot I cannot and we began to pray for her and finally she was able to surrender that bitterness to the Lord there was a man lying in hospital and um he was very angry with
00:28:53 his brother younger brother and he could not forgive his younger brother because that was a family it was a family problem he accuses his father of spending all the money educating the younger brother but not him so the younger brother or some of you can identify you know you one you laughing okay so the younger brother is well educated and uh he has a better house and sell Sons his children abroad for education but he lived a simple life as a government servant so he was so angry with his father and also angry with his
00:29:23 brother because uh the father gave everything to the youngest son but at the time when they were growing up when the father had a small income and he couldn't give the best for him but he was able to provide the best for his brother he couldn't Rejoice with that but he was so angry with his brother and they never spoke for many years A Time came when he was lying in hospital he was sick and he was in a terrible condition doctors had given up hope so the family members told him PA why don't you forgive
00:29:57 uncle he always wants to come and see you every Christmas he wants to come by you you don't allow him to come and we also cannot see see him and his family we want to visit our cousins he said okay okay call him so the brother was so happy younger brother he came to the hospital Ward and both brothers reconciled and they spoke and everything and he was lying in bed with all the tubes and everything going in him and after they spoke they were happy and the younger brother was leaving just as younger brother opened the door to
00:30:32 leave the ward he looks at him and say hey if I come out his condition I don't forgive you huh you are laughing but it is terrible now some would say I will forgive if they apologize I will forgive if they say sorry they never apologized they never said sorry why should I forgive now people who speak like this have a problem with their English vocabulary you know why the very word forgive comes from two English words for and give f o r e and g i v e now the word for f o r e you know comes from the
00:31:22 word before that means to do or give something in advance before you required that's what before means to do something earlier before it's required to forgive means is to forgive our offender so when you put the both the words together in the English vocabulary forgive means you forgive the person even before they ask forgiveness or apologize or even if they choose to forgive you or not you should already forgive the person that's what the word forgive means and Jesus expounds on this principle very clearly
00:32:02 in the par the parable of the prodical son we know when you read the parable of the prodal son in Luke 15: 2021 the father ran to the son and forgave him even before the son asked forgiveness Luke 15: 20 so he got up and went to his father the son after being with the pigs he realized going to his father he began to make his way walk to his father but while he was still a long way off his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him the word of God says the father ran to his son an elderly
00:32:38 man the older one running to the younger ran to his son threw his arms around him and kissed him the son said to the father I have sinned against heaven and against you I'm no longer worthy to be your son but the point is the father ran and hugged the son even before the son could say say that he regretted what is done that is the meaning of forgiveness forgive someone of their offenses even before they ask forgiveness Jesus also gives us a practical application in Matthew 5: 23 and 24 therefore if you are offering your
00:33:19 gift at the altar and that and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you live your gift there in front of the altar first go and be reconciled to them then come and offer your gift if you come to offer your gift to God and you know that someone has an offense against you or you are against somebody go and reconcile first before you offer your gift to the altar this is something very difficult to do people will come to church and they will not look at each other now this is something something my
00:33:58 father my dad taught me many years ago my father is with the Lord now but as a young boy this is something he showed me now I want to tell you something very personal that took place in my family when I was young I think about six or seven years old my father had a younger sister an aunt in the family and she got married to someone that we were not happy with she had converted to another religion and um and left the family and and she was with this person and it was very painful and what happened the decision was everybody
00:34:41 decided to cut off ties with Earth so ties was sever I could not talk to my aunt my brother his brother nobody could speak to her and it was a terrible time in the family you know but um we were together but you said we had ostracized this person because what she had done she had converted and she had married somebody that the family disapproved of that one particular year during a Christmas service in a service like this the pastor in that church that I was attending as a young boy the pastor while preaching it was a
00:35:17 Christmas it was a Christmas service on 2th December and after his sermon and you know uh in that church the denomination Christmas service a very important Holy Communion is served and the pastor very senior man is still around in his 80s now he said if there is somebody that you're offended with and you have not forgiven them please forgive them if not do not come to the Lord's table now for that Christmas service my aunt was SED there of course her husband was not there because he was of a different but she was there sitting all
00:36:00 alone and me and my family we were all were on this side and my father is a person who never misses communion he wanted to go and take communion but he found it very difficult he sees his sister sitting there and she also couldn't take communion it was very awkward a very awkward situation and then my father did something very remarkable he got up he moved towards where his sister was SED they have not spoken for many years but on that Christmas service he went and forgave her and said and hugged
00:36:41 her and said I forgive you come back to the family both of them on that day together walked to receive communion and because what my my father did that sister came back to Christ again and still serves the Lord and her children although she's of a different religion my friends my father has a brother who's a pastor and he said how could you do this how could you do this at that point of time but then he also ch changed forgiveness it's difficult it but it is powerful and it's able to bring people
00:37:38 back together now as your pastor and friend I want to say a few things concerning forgiveness first what forgiveness is not forgiveness is not excusing or condoning the wrong that was done remember forgiveness is not excusing or condoning the wrong that was done forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending that the wrong never happened we don't have a a a delate button like the computer know we can just delay everything sometimes even forgiving is not necessarily mean reconciling with the person who has
00:38:27 wronged you because sometimes reconciling is just not advisable now before you all jump you should let me explain this to you all why sometimes reconciliation is not advised my wife and I a few years ago were counseling a woman who was involved with a married man she knew that she was used by this man for his lustful desire and pleasure but he promised her that he would leave his wife and children for her and she believed him and it it was going on for years in counseling we told that this is never going to happen he's not going to
00:39:04 leave his wife and children for you after some time she severed that relationship and we had a help her to forgive this person who had used her and gave her false hopes and unrealistic promises but after she had forgiven him we told her do not reconcile because if she goes back to reconcile the person she will definitely fall back into her sinful habit again so some cases reconciliation is not advisable but we need to forgive now in having said that what is forgiveness forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and
00:39:55 anger towards the person who wronged us now the late archal heart wrote many good books and one of the books that he wrote he said forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me and that's what it is forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me having said that we also need to know why forgiveness is important very quickly forgiveness brings healing and peace to our hearts and Minds forgiveness helps us to move on from the past and build a healthier relationship in the present many cannot enjoy the
00:40:41 present because they are still in bondage to their past forgiveness reflects the love and grace that God has shown us in Christ my friends in closing I want to say this forgiveness is a choice we will be surprised and discovered through the power of God and help of God forgiveness somehow comes natural to us to move when we are led by the spirit of Christ and being set free from the bondage of unforgiveness hatred anger hatred resentment and bitterness forgiving this way is a choice of the will in some cases it is a
00:41:23 choice that you and I must make again and again and again so Peter ask Christ how many times should I forgive my brother 77 times again and again and again you and I will need to forgive till the day we meet our Lord and savior face to face excuse me and stand unashamed before the Judgment seat of Christ forgiveness my friends is ultimately the power of God that his work in us as we re rely upon him and his power let's bow our heads and look to the Lord in prayer father we come before you at this
00:42:04 time Lord we pray for the spirit of reconciliation we pray for forgiveness help us to forgive even the most difficult person brutal person ungrateful person persons in our life forgiveness is your nature your character and as your children to be salt and light on this Earth and for FBC to be an example please Lord help us to be a forgiving church and a forgiving individual let us forgive as you forgive us in Jesus name amen well thank you Pastor Raymond for that message I'm sure it will POS as a
00:42:54 challenge for most of us here uh especially for I think most of us as we leave this Hall it means going back to our struggles and then we struggle with unforgiveness and then we struggle with bitterness but why don't as a response to what is being heard and how we need to forgive just as Christ forgive us um let's all stand first as we sing this song um we want to sing this song uh over you and uh to one another that Christ um the power of Christ and his love uh and the Holy Spirit Will Empower
00:43:24 us uh to do what he calls us to do to love those those who um he calls us to love the people that he has placed in our lives so we're going to teach you this song which is fairly new to you uh we're going to show you the how the chorus goes so you can familiarize with it so you can know the words as well may you know sorry may you go in the love of your father God may you go in the grace of Christ may you go in the power of his Spirit now to bring him glory with your life sing again may you go in the love
00:44:06 of your father God may you go in the grace of Christ may you go in the power of His Spirit now to bring him glory with your life [Music] [Music] as you go as you go may you know the love of Christ how deep and long how high and wide and as you leave may you seek to win the prize to find his death to be your life may you go in the love of your father God may you go in the grace of Christ and may you go in the power of the spirit now to bring him glory with your [Music] life and as you go may you know the
00:45:21 power Grace his very strength for what's to come and as you leave may you feel his mighty hand guiding your steps in the race you run may you go with the love of your father God may you go with the grace of Christ may you go in the power of His Spirit now to bring him glory with your life [Music] [Music] and as you go may you show it's hard to bless the ones with bless the Blind and lost and as you leave may you be the Light of Christ and show our hope is in the cross may you go in the love of your father
00:46:31 God may you go in the gra of Christ may you go in the power of the spirit now to bring him glory with your life may you go in the love of your father God may you go in the grace of Christ yes may you go in the power of the spirit now to him glory with your [Music] life thank you Brendan and team for that wonderful song friends after the benediction the pastor and Elders will be here to minister to you those who need to be ministered and to be prayed for let us pray Heavenly Father we thank you for
00:47:30 your word we thank you for this time thank you for listening to us thank you for your divine presence who is here with us this morning in Jesus name amen the benediction and now may the love of the Father the grace of the Son and the sweet communion of the Holy Spirit continue to be with us leaders and directors as we leave the house of God we leave to serve him in Jesus name amen [Music]
