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00:00 Being some international church at Mont Kiara. Uh the last time I was here was uh if I remember correctly was back in
00:07 November. Uh and I brought to you a message from uh on the great commission. And uh the
00:14 Lord I I just I just very quick updates. Uh the Lord just continues to bless uh
00:21 the church plant in Mont Kiara. Um there is no doubt that he led us to plant this
00:26 church and he continues to show us that and reveal that to us and just prove himself uh faithful. Uh so I bring you
00:35 greetings this morning from them. They are uh let's see the youth are in Sunday school and the music team is warming up
00:41 and they will begin their service uh about 10:30. Uh I want to can just thank you for your continued prayer support.
00:48 Uh we I appreciate the partnership that First Baptist Subong has with uh the International Mission Board uh with our
00:54 personnel here on the ground and with the uh the variety of work that that we
00:60 are involved in and uh just ask you that you would continue to pray for uh the
01:06 church in Montara. Um we also uh last October began a church down in Ka Jang
01:13 uh and uh that is also going well. Um it is uh comprises mostly of university
01:20 students but not all. Uh it is summer break for some of the universities down in that area. So uh they it's a small
01:27 intimate group uh these couple of months but uh the Lord is moving down there as
01:32 well. appreciate the partnership with First Baptist as we uh continue to look at um joining forces in the area of
01:40 Putra Heights and the establishment of a uh uh eventually the establishment of a
01:46 church there. Uh it's beginning now as the merging of uh I think some cell groups, people coming together and uh I
01:54 I just I I appreciate the fact that First Baptist is willing to give up resources including people. Um, churches
02:01 need to be in the business of running people off just as they're in the business of bringing people in. You bring them in, you prepare them, you
02:07 equip them, and you run them off uh to be a part of ministry. So, uh, just to trust the Lord uh, for that. Thank you
02:14 also for the partnership as we continue to look at establishing this new international school uh here in the
02:20 Clling Valley and for stepping out in great faith and trust to allow the
02:26 incubation of that to take place as a learning center here at First Baptist. my children will be attending uh
02:33 starting September 3rd uh two of my children anyway uh September 3rd and uh
02:38 to to great relief of my wife and therefore a great relief uh to me as
02:44 well uh we enroll the older two uh in in the school. So uh I want to uh I think I
02:53 want to thank Peter for the opportunity to speak this morning. I just have one request. Next time you preach to the Ten Commandments, I'll gladly sign up for
03:00 idolatry or stealing or coveting. Um I uh
03:07 um am not sure, you know, you you bring in the guest speaker to tackle the tough one, I guess. Um I'm beginning to detect
03:16 a pattern as I am invited to speak in different churches in the Clang Valley. The pastors, let's invite in the IMB
03:21 guys and let them tackle the uh these issues. But it's always a pleasure to be back at First Baptist. Uh my heart right
03:28 now there's a little bit of a hole. I mean I miss my I miss the church family in Mont Kiara. But you know what? If I'm going to be anywhere besides Mont Kiara
03:34 this morning, I like coming to First Baptist uh and to be able to share with you from the word. So as I stand before
03:40 you with fear and trembling on this topic this morning, let's go to the Lord in prayer as we open his word together.
03:47 Uh Father, thank you so much for calling us your own. Thank you for allowing us the
03:52 opportunity this morning to gather in this place as an assembly of your believers, the church.
03:59 Father, thank you for the chance to uh to to join together in prayer and in song and now to open your word. Father,
04:06 my continued prayer is that you would engage your people by your Holy Spirit. Father, allow us to meet you face to
04:12 face this morning in your word. And father, whatever message you have for each of us from this uh this this these
04:20 passages uh on this topic, God, meet each one of us where we are, may we hear
04:26 what we need to hear. And Father, may we be empowered and emboldened to to act on
04:31 what we need to do uh in this area of our lives. Father, right now, I pray I
04:37 pray for clarity of thought, a peace of the heart, and just ask that you would speak this morning to your people from
04:43 your word. Father that I would merely be a conduit this morning through which you are speaking. Father I step aside uh to
04:51 become less that right now in these moments you might become more. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
04:59 Uh Peter actually called me several months ago probably three months ago and asked me to uh to take this date and
05:05 this topic. And so I've had plenty of time to uh to prepare uh and uh but uh
05:11 you how do you prepare for something like this? Well, the Lord began to bring story after story into my life of
05:19 brokenness uh uh in individuals, brokenness in families and in some of
05:25 those instances, praise God, uh stories of redemption and restoration. And I
05:30 hope that by the end of the day that no matter what is said regarding this area that we always remember that in Jesus
05:35 Christ there is there is redemption from of any from any circumstance and there is restoration by the grace of God. Let
05:44 me share a couple of stories with you this morning though. Uh the first one is uh it ends well uh as well as it can end
05:51 I guess but it's a story of a pastor who uh was in a church planting pastor role
05:58 and uh was uh in in in a fatherly
06:04 pastoral role. He and his wife were trying to help a a a young single
06:10 actually it was a young couple in their congregation that was wanting to get married but they were living together.
06:15 And so the pastor said, 'Well, you know, we don't mind doing the wedding, but we need to have set a time where for the
06:21 next 3 to 6 months, you you you separate. You're not living together, and that you allow us to disciple you
06:27 and help prepare you for for marriage. And uh in that process, they were also
06:32 teaching this young uh this young lady uh just how to be responsible, how to how to how everything from jobs to how
06:40 to handle a personal budget, household budget, and trying to uh just parent uh
06:46 parent her. And uh one evening while uh this uh this pastor was trying to help
06:54 her with with with one of these budgeting uh issues, sitting down looking through finances, uh she made a
06:59 pass at him. And in a moment of great weakness, he obliged and gave in. And
07:07 what started out as a one-time oops moment became a several months of an
07:13 affair under the roof of his own in the roof of under his own roof in his own home
07:19 without his wife knowing. Finally uh things came out of course uh
07:25 he he he confessed uh he had to resign uh as a pastor and uh will probably
07:30 never pastor again. Uh so the bad news is that uh that that he was
07:35 disqualified. He he was no longer able to fulfill biblically um God's call on
07:42 his life as a pastor. The good news is his wife was faithful and remained with
07:47 him and they he has restored their marriage. They both have successful uh
07:52 careers and uh he has a real heart for uh for helping young pastors, young
07:59 leaders in accountability issues. But there's one other thing in this story
08:04 that is an underlying strand and that is at the age of 19 uh as a young man this
08:11 pastor became involved with pornography. And for years all the way up until of
08:17 course this time of an affair he struggled with the issue. And even as a pastor he had times where he uh where he
08:24 looked at uh at pornography. And so basically what started out at the
08:31 age of 19 uh just became a poison and a part of his life that eventually led
08:36 that in this moment in this moment when this this young lady made a pass at him.
08:42 He uh because of that he really feels like that fed into his moment of uh
08:48 moral failure in this affair. Um I will go ahead and tell you this story as well. I'll refer to it again
08:54 later, but uh a couple of months ago, about a month ago, I received an email through a series of relationships. Uh
09:00 there is a uh young couple um that uh they are not believers. I like the term
09:06 you're using around here now, pre-believers. Not necessarily non-believers, but pre-believers. Just trusting in faith that God is going to
09:13 bring people uh into the fold. Um but uh I I've still never met this couple, but I've been in email contact with both of
09:19 them. Um basically the story goes like this. Uh they're married. They have uh a
09:25 son and a daughter, very young children. Um the marriage is a uh has been a
09:31 struggle. Uh it is a cross-cultural marriage though both of them have Chinese uh background. They're both
09:37 Chinese ethnicity. They come from different countries. And so even there we have cross-cultural uh marriage
09:42 issues. There's been a struggle in the marriage. Um uh he would say that she's not a communicator. She would say that
09:48 he neglects her. Um basically uh she began a Facebook
09:54 relationship with an old high school or secondary school sweetheart. One thing led to another through chatting. They
10:00 met uh personally face to face and this resulted in an affair uh by uh this
10:06 wife, an affair with an old high school sweetheart. And uh during this affair uh
10:11 became pregnant and um she did tell her husband, she confessed, she came to him. um the
10:18 initial reaction keeping in mind of course that they are pre-believers that uh he he wanted her to have an abortion
10:26 uh she agreed to it. They actually flew to KL from the uh place of their residence uh which is outside of this
10:32 country and when they got here she could not go through with it. she did not feel right about uh having an abortion. And
10:40 by email, I supported that decision uh in her life and uh kind of proposed a
10:46 redemption scenario uh whereby the marriage is saved and the husband uh
10:51 forgives and that they raise this child as their own. Uh
10:58 as the story goes on the last month, uh he wanted to restore the marriage. The husband did. In the very beginning, I
11:05 thought it was her that wanted to restore the marriage and that he was looking for a way out. But as it turns out, he wants to restore the marriage.
11:10 He wants to adopt this child. But now she wants out of the marriage. It looks like the marriage will end in divorce
11:16 and that he will go back to his home country. She will remain in her home country and they will actually separate
11:23 uh the son and the daughter between the two of them. And I think that her desire is to eventually marry uh this high
11:30 school sweetheart. That is a sad case. Thankfully, there are Christians that are in their lives, being able to speak
11:36 into their lives. Uh there's a p a Chinese pastor from the US that was brought in by email. I've been brought
11:41 in by email, and it just so happens that one of this uh young lady's aunts is a uh believer as well. And so, she has
11:47 been able to speak into their lives. There's still hope, of course, and we pray for that. But, uh here just a case
11:53 where adultery in this in in this marriage looks like it will destroy the
11:58 family. And uh it's real. And I realize that as I stand
12:05 before this congregation this morning that I'm not standing before a full congregation of people who do not
12:12 struggle in these same areas of adultery, pornography. Uh if you're single uh in and premarital sex issues.
12:19 Um I know that as I stand before you, there are some of you that are struggling with pornography even now.
12:24 There are some of you that have struggled in the past that are uh that are in recovery, so to speak. There are
12:31 some of you here this morning that are will eventually fall into that. Uh
12:37 unfortunately, I realize that I stand before some of you and I would be naive to think that none of you are either
12:42 involved in an affair currently or have never been involved in an affair. And of course uh just the depravity of man uh
12:51 the sinful state that we live in that uh that some of you will fall into adultery
12:58 uh as as time goes on. Uh these are it's real issues and the statistics show that
13:05 it it that Christians, churchgoers, believing families are just as
13:10 susceptible and just as involved in these in these acts of pornography and adultery as people outside of the
13:18 church. Satan knows that this is a an an area of great weakness in our lives.
13:25 We're very vulnerable in this. the culture around us. Yes. Even in in in a
13:30 conservative uh country like Malaysia and I say that because the government being an Islamic government there there
13:37 is a a conserviveness to it when it comes to values. But but but still even here in KL in the United States in my
13:44 home culture we are surrounded by a culture of sex. We are inundated with
13:50 music, movies, TV shows, advertising that is just full of sex. How do you
13:58 sell a sports car? You put an almost naked lady on the hood and put it in a magazine.
14:05 TV shows like the like like the show Friends that has been so popular for the last 20 over years
14:14 displays a group of young adults who eventually by the end of the series slept with everybody within the group.
14:21 Yes, some of them were married and there were children involved but this became a culture.
14:28 the TV show Friends displayed and eventually led to the creation of just a
14:34 a a sex culture and uh once again it's a
14:39 it's a product of the United States that we so shamefully have exported to the world but there's all of us are familiar
14:47 with uh with that show. So we're surrounded by it. Satan knows
14:53 that we're vulnerable and it's a major tool. It's a way that he can get right at pastors. He can get into the ministry
14:59 leaders and he can pull them down. He can disqualify them from fulfilling
15:04 their call to ministry for the rest of their lives through this one thing.
15:12 So, let's go into Matthew for a few moments. And actually, we're going to hit several uh passages this morning. Uh
15:18 but I want us to begin in Matthew, and it is chapter 5, but I want us to go back to verse 17 as we begin.
15:27 Chapter 5:1 17 Jesus uh said and this is uh the beginning of the sermon on the mount. Uh of course we've we're just
15:34 past the biatitudes. Um and Jesus says do not think that I have come to abolish
15:39 the law or the prophets. I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For
15:45 truly I say to you until heaven and earth pass away not an iota not a dot
15:50 will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments
15:56 and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever does them and
16:02 teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that
16:09 of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus
16:15 goes on uh the next few passages here, and there's six statements that begin like this. You have heard it said and
16:24 he's referring back to the law. And in this case right now and today in the context of this morning we are referring
16:29 back to the ten commandments. Jesus first of all says he did not come
16:34 to abolish the law. He came to fulfill the law. The law is not the law is not
16:39 brushed aside. The law is now fulfilled. The law itself was never Thank you for
16:46 uh getting those slides for me because I have this but I will cruise right on without it. Um
16:53 the law was never meant to save. Even as we read through the law today, as we read through the New Testament,
17:01 what what is revealed in the law is our sinfulness, our lostness.
17:07 The law is there to show us that we live in depravity, separated from God, and
17:12 that we will never measure up to his standard. Yes, even Abraham was saved by
17:18 his faith. We read in Ephesians, we are saved by grace through faith.
17:25 And it's just like Jesus. Now Jesus number one uh uh speaks he warns against
17:31 relaxing the law in in in the day of the the new covenant and relationship with
17:37 Christ. We don't relax the law. We because we because we are saved by
17:43 grace through faith. It's it's not a license to sin. The law still stands.
17:49 Jesus came to fulfill it. In fact, Jesus raises the bar of the law.
17:58 He does this with several things. He does it with anger here in one of in one in the passage directly after what I
18:04 just read. It's not just anger. He says if you have anger in your heart towards a person, it's not just anger. It's
18:10 murder in your heart. You are committing murder against that person when you're angry with them in your heart. He does
18:18 it with uh with with with the tithe. You know, nowhere in the New Testament are we told how much to give to the church.
18:24 We're told that we should be giving to the church as God's uh as God's chosen instrument uh for fulfilling his kingdom
18:31 purposes, but we're never told how much. The Old Testament, we have the tithe. We
18:36 have the different temple taxes. But you notice Jesus never says, "All right, now I want you to keep giving 10%
18:42 to the church." But but uh what what we see as we go through the New Testament that Jesus would actually even say a
18:48 tithe is minimum. We are expected to be giving above and beyond the tithe. See,
18:55 he takes the law and he raises the bar. He does the same thing with what we're
19:01 going to talk with what we are talking about this morning. It's not just do not commit adultery. It's not just
19:08 not committing a physical act of of sex with with somebody other than your
19:13 spouse. It was read for us. Jesus says, "You have heard it said, you shall not commit
19:18 adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed
19:23 adultery with her in his heart. Now, before we get too deep into that, I want
19:28 us to go back for just a moment to the book of Genesis. You do not have to turn there yourself. I could I'll read it to
19:34 you. And uh we're familiar with the passages, but in Genesis chapter 1, God has created
19:42 God has created Adam. He's created Eve. In verse 27, so God created man in his
19:49 own image. In the image of God he created him, male and female he created
19:54 them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have
20:00 dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the heavens, etc. be fruitful and multiply was a command
20:06 given to Adam and Eve to reproduce themselves to multiply the human race. Okay. Uh chapter 2:es 23 and 24.
20:17 Then the man said, "Okay, God has just created Eve." All right. Uh Adam wakes
20:22 up from his anesthesia and he sees Eve.
20:27 And in the Hebrew, we basically uh we get the image that that that Adam looks at her and says, "Oh, wow.
20:34 because he's he's already looked at all the animals, right? God's already all the animals have marched past and he's named them and there's not a suitable
20:40 helper. So God creates Eve and Adam wakes up and he sees her. He sees for
20:45 the first time a naked woman. God has given him a wife. Wow. At last bone of
20:51 my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she is she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man
20:59 shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. What we have
21:08 here in in in this passage in Genesis is that marriage was God's idea.
21:14 God created the marriage relationship between one man and one woman.
21:21 Period. We see in right here in this passage,
21:28 it's there. It's underlying, but it's there. Sex is a sacred gift from God. There is a sanctity of of sex that God
21:38 has given to man and woman. God establishes sex within the confines of
21:44 marriage. He gave us sex for a purpose or for
21:50 purposes. One of them is right here. It's for reproduction, for multiplication. It's how the human race
21:56 continues. The only way it can continue is if a husband and a wife reproduce
22:02 themselves. If all of us as husbands and wives reproduce ourselves. It was given
22:08 to us for pleasure. It was given to us as we see throughout
22:13 scripture for oneness with our spouse. And the Song of Solomon is a beautiful
22:20 book that walks us from the early days of a courtship between a man and a and a
22:26 woman through old age. And what we see is a progression from
22:32 the dating and the courtship to young marriage all the way through to a mature
22:37 old marriage. It is not allegory to Christ and the
22:43 church. It is a book that God gave us in the Bible that shows us a picture of
22:51 marriage. What it is meant to be between a man and a woman from early in their
22:57 relationship all the way through till death do us or till death do they part.
23:06 In 1 Corinthians 1 verse 7. And what we're doing, we're laying some foundation. You can't talk
23:12 about adultery without really establishing foundations within marriage. Uh so really there's a couple
23:18 of sermons in today's sermon because a a a a sermon on adultery needs to be
23:23 prefaced and have foundation onuh within the context of of marriage. So that's what I'm trying to do as quickly as I
23:28 can. But look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 or hear it now concerning matters about
23:34 which you wrote. It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to
23:40 se to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own
23:47 husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise
23:53 the wife to her husband. Conjugal means giving yourself to him to your spouse
24:00 sexually. A man should give himself and sex to his wife, the wife to her husband. For the
24:07 wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have
24:13 authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another.
24:20 Paul writes the sex given in marriage is
24:30 uh is for these purposes but even further it is for physical emotional
24:36 oneness. Literally, when a man and a woman engage
24:42 in sexual intercourse, they become one physically and emotionally.
24:51 And what we see as we continue to talk about adultery and as we get into that in a moment, if you are involved in an
24:58 affair, a physical affair, you are becoming one with that person as well.
25:07 And you have one plus one equals one here. But then you step out of the relation out of the marriage relationship and you have one plus one
25:13 over here. But see this one of those ones over here has already become one over here. So now you have this almost
25:20 grotesque mathematical equation. I'll stop there. We'll get back to all
25:26 that in in just a moment. But listen, God blesses sex.
25:32 It is his gift and it is a blessing that he has given to the human race
25:38 so long as it is carried out and enjoyed within the confines of marriage as he
25:45 has designed. It's it's the regulations. It's his economy. The only way it works and works
25:53 right is within the confines of marriage. And I say this to you this
25:58 morning. Any sex outside of marriage is selfish. It is self-s serving. It is
26:04 sinful. Whether it's premarital sex or extrammarital sex, whether you're
26:09 single, involved in a sex relationship, or married, involved in a relationship outside of your marriage, it is selfish.
26:15 It is self-serving. Because as we read in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, it is given that man and
26:22 woman would become one. In fact, sex is not for you. It is for your spouse.
26:29 It is for you to bless your spouse. It is giving. It is selfless.
26:35 And that's the difference. Selfish and selfless. Out of marriage, within the confines of marriage.
26:47 In the Old Testament, we read that Israel is God's chosen people. He takes
26:53 Abraham, he establishes the nation of Israel to be his people. And it's
26:58 described as a covenant relationship.
27:04 In fact, this covenant relationship is referred to as we read through the prophets where Israel began worshiping
27:11 foreign gods. They they would adopt the gods of their uh of their neighbors, the
27:18 people they were conquering, the people they were living beside. Those
27:23 acts of worshiping other gods were referred to as adultery.
27:30 Israel was cheating on their God. They Israel was in a covenant relationship
27:36 with God, the one true God, Yahweh. But when they would turn their back on
27:42 him and worship idols and worship the gods of their neighbors, it was referred to as adultery. They were committing the
27:49 act of spiritual adultery with other gods.
27:56 In the book of Ephesians, perhaps the most famous, the most well, the most used passage on marriage,
28:04 reading from verse 25, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he
28:10 might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to
28:17 himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In
28:25 the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves
28:31 his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it
28:36 cherishes it just as Christ does the church. Because we are members of his
28:42 body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, referring back to Genesis, and hold fast to the wife, and
28:48 the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound. Hear this. I am
28:56 saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you
29:02 love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. What we see here in verse 32 is Paul
29:10 writes this entire discourse on marriage. Husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to and respect your
29:16 husbands. It's not a matter of inequality. It's a matter of just in God's economy, there's a way of doing
29:22 things. He has a design here. It is for marriage. He gets down to verse 32 and says, "Really, what I'm talking about
29:29 here is Christ and the church." And what we have here is the gospel and marriage
29:35 coming together. The marriage relationship between a husband and a wife is a picture of the gospel.
29:45 It is a picture of the relationship between Jesus and his people, the
29:50 church.
29:57 Marriage is of it's it's more than that, of course. Okay? Because we've already talked about the uh the the gift and the
30:04 blessing of sex within marriage. And obviously that cannot be illustrated exactly in in this relationship between
30:11 the gospel uh the Jesus and his church. But what we have in the covenant
30:16 relationship is a picture of Jesus and his church.
30:22 Our marriages reflect the gospel as believers.
30:28 Okay. So here we go. Chapter 5 of Matthew verse 27 through32
30:40 in verse 27 and I just I just read it again. You shall not commit adultery. You you have heard it said the ten
30:46 commandments. Read the ten commandments. You shall not commit adultery. So what we have here is the law. Now, this
30:51 morning as I use the word adultery, I want you to know that I am referring to any premarital or extrammarital sex or
30:59 even acts that would be leading up to sex, any any of the physical acts that
31:06 that would lead to sex, premarital or extrammarital, or any promiscuous sexual activity. Okay? So when I mention
31:13 adultery from the for the rest of the sermon, I want you to hear all-encompassing
31:18 sexual immorality, okay? Because I can't say every word every time as as as we go through. So we
31:25 we have this adult, we have the law, you've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery from Exodus 20 verse4.
31:34 The the threat, the risk is that we use the law as a checklist.
31:40 Okay? Uh, and that's what that's what the Pharisees were doing. I've kept the law. Outwardly, I have kept the law. I
31:48 haven't done this, this, this, this. We look at the Ten Commandments. And we kind of measure ourselves to the Ten Commandments, don't we? You shall have
31:54 no other gods before me. Well, I'm a believer. I don't have any idols in my house. I've got no other gods. Okay. Uh,
31:60 well, let's see. Lying. Well, you know, I mean, the occasional white lie, maybe, but you know, God didn't mean white lies. He meant like real dishonesty and
32:07 lying. So, we start checking off. We start comparing ourselves to the law. And that's a great risk because we begin
32:14 to measure ourselves to the law. We begin to justify ourselves or try to justify our salvation according to our
32:21 own works instead of the works that Jesus has already finished for us that
32:27 brings us into salvation. And as I mentioned in in in the very
32:33 beginning, Jesus raises the bar. He kind of plays a trump card here. You
32:39 say, you've heard it said, don't commit adultery. You say, 'Well, I haven't done that. I haven't committed the physical
32:45 act of sex outside of my marriage. I haven't committed adultery. Jesus raises the bar on us.
32:53 He just implicated us all. About the time we're going, "Yeah, you've heard it said you haven't committed adultery."
32:59 That's right. I've heard it said, "Haven't done it." Bam. If you have lusted in your heart, if you have looked
33:06 at a woman with the intent to lust, if you have entertained sexual immoral thoughts in your mind, you've already
33:13 committed adultery with her in your heart. Boom. We now are implicated. We
33:19 are guilty not just of lust. He says we're guilty of adultery.
33:28 Now, it happens all the time. It happens to me. It happens to you. You're walking
33:33 through the mall, guys. A young lady walks by half-dressed
33:40 and you double take. You glance. Okay, that's not what G or or ladies, you walk
33:47 by the GNC store and see that picture of that guy that's all ripped and you take a second glance. Actually, we walked by
33:52 that sign today at Sunway Pyramid and my wife goes, "That's gross."
33:58 And I'm going, "Oh, man." Uh
34:05 um good. What about uh that's not what he means here when he
34:11 says if you have looked upon a woman with sexual intent. The glances are are
34:19 natural. The glances are there. But there's that moment where you have a glance, you have a look, and there's a
34:26 moment of decision. What am I going to do with that thought right there?
34:31 What happens in that moment determines the adultery that that emotional or that
34:37 spiritual adultery where we look intently with lust? How do we entertain
34:42 that thought? Right? We we can go left or right. And you know, it it it as we're going to see
34:48 in a few moments with some statistics, it it it it's women as well as men. It's very easy to pick on the men because
34:54 we're just a little bit less discreet about it. Okay. Um and uh we are men. We
34:59 are wired visually. Ladies, we are wired visually. When God created us, he wired us visually. Okay? It is no secret that
35:07 when a man when a man sees it turns him on. It it's it's it's it's the way we're
35:13 wired. Okay? So, it's easier to pick on the men here, but as we will see uh and you know, it takes two to tango.
35:19 Adultery is between a man and a woman. So, it's obviously a struggle between both genders. Okay? But this looks
35:27 intently does not equal a glance. Looking intently, the intention of lust
35:35 is deeper than a glance. It's more than a glance. It's the purpose of lusting.
35:43 Get this. Feeding the inner sensual appetites.
35:49 We all have them. We are sexual beings.
35:55 We all have an inner appetite. The purpose of lusting feeds that inner
36:01 sensual appetite and it could be adultery, the physical act outside of
36:07 marriage. It could be be it could be premarital uh sex be it's that before marriage. It could be lust, entertaining
36:14 thoughts in your mind about people, people you know, maybe people you don't know. It might be somebody that's on the
36:20 magazine cover or on the car advertisement. pornography,
36:26 flirting, and that's a tough one. Okay, I would almost add the word excessive flirting, but I'm I'm going to leave it
36:32 at this. I'm going to leave it at flirting because listen, whether you're married or not, when you begin to flirt
36:39 with somebody the opposite gender, you are doing one of two things or both. you are beginning to entertain and get a
36:45 thrill out of the flirting and or you are leading that person into
36:52 a thrill. Okay. So there is there is a danger here
36:58 as well. Now flirting is a part of the dating process. It's a it's a part of
37:04 the courtship. Okay. And it should be it it is it's a part of the wooing. Okay.
37:10 Flirting should happen within marriage. Husbands, wives, we should be flirting with each other. We should be reaching
37:17 under the table with our foot and and at dinner and and and kind of giving a tap.
37:22 We should be flirting. But listen, that's within the confines of marriage. It says within the confines of the
37:29 relationship. Okay? So, there's a fine line there with flirting, but it should be a part of our relationships.
37:36 Sexual impurity begins in the desires of our hearts.
37:42 We have to realize this. Sexual impurity is a part of the
37:47 depravity. It's a part of the the deep heart sin that's a result of the fall.
37:55 Adultery is a heart problem. If you are engaged in an adulterous
38:01 affair, if you are engaged in any premarital sexual activity or anything else listed here, pornography, you have
38:09 a heart problem, not an adultery problem.
38:14 And as you go through the as you go through the ten commandments, it it becomes evident through each of those. I mean, if if you have other gods besides
38:22 Yahweh, you have a problem with Yahweh.
38:28 Okay. If you are lying, stealing, if you are coveting,
38:34 it's not just that you have a problem with stealing or coveting. It's that you have a you have a heart problem with
38:42 being satisfied with Yahweh. Our heart any problems in adultery are a
38:49 heart problem. It goes back to the roots of having a problem with Yahweh, with
38:56 God. The reason we sin in lusting and
39:02 adultery is because we are not satisfied in Jesus.
39:07 And the same can be said for, like I said, for any of the ten commandments or any of the law for that matter. Okay?
39:13 The reason we do it is because we have a a dissatisfaction. We're not fully satisfied.
39:19 And listen, adultery is destructive. Proverbs 6:32 says, "He who commits
39:26 adultery lacks sense. He who does it destroys himself."
39:34 Proverbs, by the way, is full of w it's a wisdom literature that's full of
39:39 financial advice and relationship sexual advice. Okay. Um, this is one of many
39:47 verses that could be pulled and used from Proverbs. I recommend you go through and read Proverbs in the light
39:52 of uh of the the sermon topic adultery. But listen, adultery is destructive. And
39:57 I told you the story about this young couple where she began having an affair and it is going to looks like it is it
40:05 will destroy their marriage. It destroys marriages. It destroys families. It
40:10 destroys careers. It destroys relationships more than just
40:17 marriage or family relationships. It it it it destroys relationships all around you.
40:23 It destroys It disqualifies church leaders from
40:28 being able to serve in ministry. It destroys you.
40:37 Adultery or any of the related acts destroy you as a person.
40:45 And as we're going to see in a moment as we talk specifically about pornography, it destroys your brain. There are
40:53 neurological there is neurological destruction. There is physical destruction through
40:60 the acts of adultery. Pornography is being labeled the the the
41:07 new drug. Uh and I I I didn't put the website on here, but there is a blog. There's some articles, some great
41:13 articles, and basically I think if you Google search pornography is the next drug. There's some great
41:19 scientific research that comes up. Okay? And uh
41:25 it's amazing. Let me give you some statistics first. Porn sites comprise 12% of the internet websites. 12%. You
41:34 do a random search for whatever, you have a one in 10 chance of pulling up a porn site. Every minute,
41:44 now this is these are some of these are worldwide figures, okay? Every minute, $184,500
41:51 is spent on porn. It is a 14 million. Is that right or is
41:58 it billion? That that should be billion. It is a $14 billion
42:05 a year industry.
42:10 20 over 28,000 people view porn every second.
42:18 One4th one in every four of internet searches are specifically for porn
42:23 sites. Now, some of these next statistics are a little bit more geared in for for
42:29 Western because, you know, it's the Western nations that do so much research in these areas, but I but I I dare say
42:35 this, these statistics are probably really close here in Malaysia as well. And this is why because we are a
42:42 connected nation. We are connected to the world. We are, it is a developing nation, but it is also a developed
42:48 nation. And in that development, we have uh higher education. We have more global
42:53 exposure. Of course, we have uh easy internet access and the like. One in six
42:60 women struggle with pornography. We can, you know, so often it's seen as a male problem, but one in six women
43:08 appro listen, look at this. Approximately 40% of pastors view porn
43:14 regularly. And I can say honestly before you this morning, I'm one of the 60. Okay?
43:26 parents. The largest users of porn are teenage boys.
43:34 70% of young adult men, this would be below the age of 35, view porn at least
43:40 once a month. Seven out of 10, at least once a month.
43:46 90% of teenagers have viewed it at least once.
43:51 That's male and female.
43:57 Pornography is destructive. The scientific research is showing that
44:05 the viewing of pornography and it can be as simple as picking up a car magazine and looking at the images in the car
44:12 magazines, guys. It can be looking at the underwear ads
44:17 that are splashed across the mall. It can be I I'll get to that in a
44:25 moment. These images when when you the scientific studies
44:31 show when you view one of these pornographic images, your brain releases
44:37 four chemicals. It's the same four chemicals that your brain releases when you smoke, dope, or do any drugs.
44:49 The release of these chemicals, number one, lead to addiction.
44:54 Because when you when you have that rush, when you have that release of chemicals, it is a high
45:02 and you crave that that that rush again.
45:07 And so you look again and you look more and what happens? It's the same thing with drugs. You build up a tolerance.
45:14 And as you build up a tolerance, it requires more. Pornography is the new drug. And it is
45:22 destructive. Listen to this. The release of those chemicals is
45:27 rewiring the brain. Our brains are wired certain ways.
45:33 Okay? when when we view pornography or when a per not we when a person views
45:40 pornography it rewires the brain and it's an image something like this. Uh
45:45 this this week we were just up in the Cameron Highlands. Uh we have some family in town right now from the US. We
45:50 went up to Cameron Highlands and I love hiking through the jungle. I love hiking through the forest. Okay. and you get on
45:56 the the the the trails that are there in the map and it leads from A to B and you
46:01 want to follow that because you can very easily get lost in the jungle. Those paths that are already cut, that's
46:08 the way the jungle paths are wired and that's the way it's supposed to be.
46:16 Now, those that are more adventurous want to get off the trail and so they
46:21 just step off the trail and head through the jungle. And as they walk, they begin trampling
46:29 down a trail behind them. And then they come through there again and they walk
46:35 they they trample it down. And as you tra as you walk that new path more and
46:41 more, it cuts a new trail.
46:46 I I grew up playing in the woods uh behind my house and we had trails. We cut trails and we would cut new trails.
46:53 And the more you ride your bicycle or hike through those trails, the more of a path it becomes. You have rewired the
46:60 forest in a way. That's what's happening with the brain. New channels are being
47:05 wired. And what happens when you start using the new path only or using it more
47:10 and more you stop using the old path. What happens to an old path in the jungle if it's not used? It grows over.
47:17 That's the rewiring. the neurologic the brain is being
47:23 rewired. It is destructive. Pornography is the new drug. And I
47:28 realize once again that as we study this, as we look at this in the Bible,
47:34 that I am standing before people that are struggling with this.
47:39 The good news is there is hope and that hope is in Jesus Christ. Jesus
47:46 can redeem you from the addictions of pornography. Jesus can redeem you from adulterous relationships. He can restore
47:53 your marriages and all the relationships that are affected. Please hear that as you hear everything
48:01 else that we have talked about. Now, abandoning adultery. What do we have to
48:07 do to abandon it or prevent it? Well, you know what we establishing guard rails. Now, what we see in verses 29 and
48:13 30, Jesus says, "If your right eye causes you to sin, rip it out. If your
48:21 right arm causes you to sin, tear it off." Now, if we took this literally, we would
48:29 basically all be rolling around or dead because we would because our
48:35 heads would be gone, too, right? Jesus here is not talking about physical
48:40 surgery. It's not meant to be read literally. And now this is the
48:45 relationship to the heart. If it was as easy as being a checklist of not doing this and not doing that, we could cut
48:52 off our eyes and our hands and we would be fine. What Jesus is saying here is you have to
48:59 take precautions. You don't need a physical surgery. You
49:04 need spiritual surgery. Number one, spiritual surgery of the heart. But also, you need to be you need to put
49:13 guard rails in. You need to have preventative measures in your life.
49:18 That's what those verses mean figuratively. Now, what's a guardrail? Again, we were driving up to the Cameron
49:24 Highlands. We drove back and you don't have as many going up the road to the Cameron Highlands as you would maybe
49:29 going up a mountain in the US, but you have guard rails along the side of the road, right? And those guardrails are there for what?
49:36 To keep you from flying off the cliff to the bottom of the mountain and being
49:41 destroyed, dying. Now, uh there is a great sermon series that I would refer you to by Andy
49:48 Stanley, the pastor of North Point Church in Atlanta, Georgia. His father is Charles Stanley.
49:54 Um he preached this sermon series about two and a half years ago. And it's he talks about guard rails in your life.
49:60 And he and he has gu it's not just in sexual relationships or physical. It's it's in all areas of life, but at least
50:06 one of the sermons talks about uh about the sexual uh guardrails. But guardrails
50:11 are there to help prevent us from flying off the edge and being destroyed. Now,
50:17 if you're driving up the mountain, where is the guardrail in relation to the road and the cliff?
50:24 It's right beside the road. You don't put a guardrail right at the edge of the cliff.
50:30 Because by the time you veer off the road and hit the guardrail at the edge of the cliff, you're gone. You're going
50:35 to go right through the guardrail. Guard rails are meant to keep you on the road.
50:40 And if you start to veer off, you know it immediately and you can correct yourself. That's the idea of a guard
50:47 rail. What preventative measures are you using to avoid destruction in your own
50:53 life? What preventative measures do you have in your life to guard you from
50:58 getting off the road into areas of adultery, pornography, etc.
51:05 Two things. First of all, we must purify the desires of our heart. Yielding to the Holy
51:12 Spirit's sanctification. Sanctification is a fancy way of saying the Holy Spirit cleaning you up and kind of remaking
51:19 your heart. Okay? Yielding ourselves to. Now in Colossians, we read it where the
51:24 Holy Spirit circumcises the heart. Circumcises, cuts away the old self,
51:31 making room for the new self, yielding to the the work of holiness of the Holy
51:36 Spirit in our lives. Centering your life on the gospel of Jesus Christ. Listen,
51:42 posturing yourself at the cross. Posturing yourself in the gospel.
51:48 Becoming absolutely satisfied in Jesus. John Piper would call it Christian
51:53 hedenism. Delighting yourself in the Lord. Being satisfied in him and him alone.
52:01 If you have a craving and an inner desire, it needs to be fulfilled in Christ alone and Christ first.
52:11 Purifying the desires of your heart or allowing the Holy Spirit to purify the desires of your heart. But listen, you
52:17 make choices and you posture yourself in one of two ways. Either you're posturing
52:23 yourself for the work of the Holy Spirit or you're posturing yourself against away from the Holy Spirit's work.
52:29 Secondly, disciplining the actions of your body, making wise choices,
52:35 establishing boundaries.
52:43 Here's a few. Oh, it was supposed to come one by one. Okay, here's a few things. First of all, if you're single,
52:50 don't date. Just kidding. All right. Although it's not a bad idea.
52:57 Okay. Um, listen. Number one, whether you're married or single, the first and foremost, decide on a biblical view of
53:05 love, marriage, and sex. Decide on it, study it, know it, and
53:12 plant yourself there. Never allow this is again most of these
53:17 are are married or single. Never allow yourself to be alone with a person of the opposite gender. Extreme. Yes. Does
53:24 it work? Yes. Men, do not take your secretaries out to
53:30 lunch. It happens all the time. Don't do it. If
53:37 you want to take your secretary out to lunch to thank her for her faithful service at the office, take your wife and the three of you have lunch
53:43 together. If you have to drive from a from your
53:48 office to a meeting, don't drive with a one person in the car of the opposite gender.
53:55 Either go separately or everybody carpool together. Just don't let
53:60 yourself get in the situation. Period. It's It's that simple.
54:07 People in Kale aren't real good at car pooling anyway. Um, as we see by the traffic. Uh but uh but but but this is
54:14 one of those things. Don't let yourself be alone. If you're if you're single and you're dating, don't allow you and your
54:19 girlfriend or boyfriend to be alone.
54:25 Enjoy time together in public. Maybe with a group of people or alone in public, but alone in public is not very
54:32 alone. Okay. Um so but do that. I had some friends are about my age. They were
54:38 dating. um when he would come to her apartment to watch a movie or something, the rule was he could not use the
54:44 toilet. If he eventually got to the point where he had to go to the bathroom to go to the toilet that bad, it was time for him
54:50 to leave. It was just a rule they set up. Silly, yes. Did it work? Yes.
55:02 Determine purity in your own life. Take a stand. Determine purity. Be stubborn.
55:10 Just be obstinate about it. Now, it's not only stubbornness. It's got to be a Holy Spirit conviction as
55:16 well, but determine it. Be stubborn about it.
55:22 Feed on the word. Be satisfied in Christ. I've referred to this already. If you're deciding on a biblical view,
55:28 you feed on the word. You plant yourself there. Be satisfied in Christ. You know,
55:33 as believers, that should be it anyway. Even as even as married adults, if we if our primary source of enjoyment and
55:39 delight is in our relationship with our spouse, we're toast. We're history. Because we all have bad days, the
55:46 relationship is up and down. No, the relationship with Christ is first and foremost. And your marriage
55:52 relationship will only be successful and flourish when your personal relationship with Christ is flourishing. Because once
55:58 again, marriage was Christ's idea. He created it. He gave it to us.
56:05 Singles, don't worry about your marital status. Be satisfied in Christ first and foremost.
56:13 Proverbs says, "Be satisfied or delight yourself in the wife of your youth.
56:20 If you're married, be satisfied in your spouse. Seek satisfaction only in your
56:25 spouse." We're talking physical and sexual here.
56:30 Internet boundaries. Okay, we've, you know, we've already talked about the porn issue and so much of that now it's it's it's accessible. It's it's
56:37 prevalent on the internet. Establishing internet boundaries, downloading filters so that nobody in your household can
56:42 access those sites. Uh, of course, that's not foolproof, but as best, you know, as best as you can. Um, keep the
56:50 family computer in public areas of the house so that nobody in the family can just be looking at the internet in private. If you have children, you limit
56:56 the time they can spend on the internet.
57:02 Look away. Discipline your mind and your body to look away. I, you know, this is the I I
57:09 do this in my mind. I've determined, you know, in instead of doing that double
57:15 take or at the point of double take, look away. Look away.
57:24 Dress and act with modesty, ladies. Yes. Even the Christian ladies, I am
57:35 shocked, abhored at the way ladies dress around the
57:40 world, but here in KL, it's as bad as it is in any other country. You have no
57:45 idea what you are doing to yourself and to the men around you when you show so
57:51 much skin. If you're wearing shorts that we can't
57:56 see because your shirt hangs down to your hips, you need to get longer shorts,
58:04 not a longer shirt. Okay? When Paul wrote, "Dress with
58:10 modesty," I think this was a part of it. Okay? Ladies, guys are wired visually.
58:17 If you don't want to be thought of or treated as a piece of meat at the market, don't dress like one.
58:25 It's blunt, but that's the way it is. I beg you, parents, don't let your
58:31 daughters walk out of the house half-dressed. We're already having trouble with this
58:37 with our 5-year-old girl. Why? Because girls clothes are made this way. And she
58:42 wants to wear these things that are strapless or they have that one strap around the neck and you're like, you're
58:48 five. We're not getting in this habit. Okay. in in Britain. Uh there was an
58:54 article a couple years ago. They are having issues in kindergarten
58:60 because of girls wearing g-string underwear and wearing low cut waistline
59:06 shorts. Kindergarten. It's not funny.
59:12 Okay. This is a part of it. This is this is pornography.
59:17 Real life. This is this leads it is destructive. It
59:23 is destroying people around you and it will lead to destruction of yourself.
59:29 If you respect yourself, if you are satisfied in Jesus Christ,
59:35 dress like it, act like it, and allow other people to know that as
59:40 well. The way you dress is a major major deal. There are others I didn't that I
59:46 put uh that I didn't put on the slide, but um
59:52 here here's a couple things I do and then we're going to wrap up. If you are traveling for business,
59:58 whether it's to JB or whether it's overseas, call home.
60:04 Make it a habit to call home regularly. Spend the money. Stay attached. Skype,
60:10 it's free. Utilize that technology. Stay connected with home.
60:17 When I was growing up, my father traveled quite a bit. There was a time as a teenager where he was traveling three out of four weeks of the month. He
60:23 called home every night to connect with my mom and his children. There was never
60:28 a doubt where dad was at night after dinner uh with his business associates.
60:36 Keep pictures of your family handy on your phone, on your iPad, in your wallet, in your office. Keep pictures of
60:43 your family there. allow people to know, hey, this is my family and I'm a family man.
60:50 Here's something I have to do very often. Uh because uh one of the things that I do here in the Kling Valley is
60:55 that I do fitness instruction. So, um I'm I do I lead uh uh uh public group
61:02 fitness and uh a lot of times the ratio of male to female, it's higher females.
61:07 And so naturally, I mean, you're you're in conversation. I make it a point so often to talk about my wife and my
61:14 children. I even take my children along sometimes, okay? Because I want these
61:20 people to know that my priority is my family. And those are practical measures. Those are guard rails. Those
61:27 are preventative measures that I put in my life so that so to to help guard me
61:33 um and it all and and to guard my family to avoid that destruction.
61:39 I have determined in my mind and in my heart that I will be satisfied in Christ alone and that I will not allow myself
61:46 into any compromising situation. Okay. Now, we are all human and we are all
61:54 weak and we are all vulnerable. Pastors fall every day. They are disqualified
61:60 every day for sexual immorality, for adultery. So I know that I would also be
62:05 foolish to say it'll never happen to me because it can. But I am very proactive
62:11 in my life. And the message today is for you to be pro to understand first of all
62:16 what it is, the expanse of it, the extent of it, but you can abandon it. You can prevent
62:24 it in your own life. But it takes proactivity. First and foremost, be satisfied in
62:30 Christ and Christ alone as his Secondly, be satisfied with what you
62:36 have and be intent on guarding it and allowing God to bless and flourish that.
62:43 And that can be singleness and that can be marriage.
62:48 Now, as I said before, twice already. I realize that some of
62:53 you are dealing with these issues now or have been dealing with them. So I know that there are heartaches and there are
63:00 memories that are flashing in your mind and there is pain. Hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. He saves. He redeems. He
63:08 restores. There are pastors here at the church.
63:14 There are Christian counselors here in this city that can serve you and
63:19 minister to you in these circumstances and in these situations.
63:26 If you need referrals to those, you may ask. We don't know. We We have to You have to
63:32 come and seek the help. We can refer you. Your pastors are ready to serve you
63:38 and to minister to you in these circumstances. And I would also say that my colleagues
63:44 with the IMB are ready to assist to to help you to counsel with you as
63:50 best we can to the point that we can. But of course, there are areas where we
63:56 need to refer you to a professional Christian counselor. And I and I stress Christian counselor, somebody that is
64:04 going to counsel you, counsel you biblically.
64:09 We're going to stand and sing our closing uh song. Um
64:15 let me uh let me uh pray for us and the team will come up.
64:21 Father in heaven, thank you for your blessings. Thank you for allowing us to be single. Thank you for allowing us to
64:28 be married. For neither is better or higher than the other in your economy.
64:34 Father, I pray that whether we are single or married, that we'd be satisfied in you and you alone.
64:39 Father, that you would guard our hearts and guard our lives from destruction, from the from the enemy getting a
64:46 stronghold in our lives. Father, for my brothers and sisters in
64:52 this room right now who have marriages that are struggling. They're on the rocks.
64:57 They There are people in this room, Father, that have even this week thought about betraying their spouse. Father,
65:04 prevent them from doing that in the coming week. Father, for those that are aching and
65:10 hurting because they've been there, they've already made the mistakes. They're living in it now. Father, reach
65:15 out to them, hug them, love them, bring them back to you.
65:20 May they know your forgiveness and experience your restoration in their
65:25 lives and in their marriages and all their relationships. And Father, perhaps there are those that
65:31 it's far gone. It's 10 years in the past. It's 20 years in the past. Father, may they rest in your forgiveness
65:38 and thank God for the second chances we have in life.
65:44 Father, thank you for your word that reaches out into the most personal relevant issues of our lives today and
65:51 certainly this is a top the list uh in in most of our lives. Father, thank you
65:57 for loving us. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
66:11 Thanks. Thank you.
