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00:00 series on the gospel and emotional spirituality. Uh we have, if you're new
00:06 to FBC, this is a series that happens once a month uh on emotional health,
00:12 which is critical to our well-being. And next year, just to let you know, we'll
00:20 be doing a new series from the womb to the tomb. The proposed series that will deal from all the generations in the
00:28 church. Let me just begin today's uh message and what we're discussing and
00:35 you know every time I speak my wife will ask me excuse me is your sermon going to be depressing
00:41 so I have reached a deal with my wife one month uplifting one month depressing
00:48 fair so last time I spoke I was told it was very uplifting so guess what happens today sorry have to be now I I think
00:56 there's there's there's a there's a place to to do both. Yeah. I Let me just try to explain this. Have you ever had a
01:04 time in your life where you felt so hardressed? You felt alone
01:12 and and it was just outside crashing in, inside pushing out, and you you your
01:19 your mind just wants to burst. If you're human like me, beyond this
01:25 facade we put on when we come to church, the smiles we put in front of everyone,
01:31 a lot of us carry personal pains. Now, you may feel you're very alone if you
01:37 are in one of those categories. But let me just share with you the words of Paul. Look at the text we just read,
01:44 part of it. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the
01:50 province of Asia. We were under great pressure far beyond our ability to
01:56 endure that. Wow, that's the Apostle Paul, you know, so that we despared of
02:02 life itself or in simple English, no point living.
02:09 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. Apostle Paul
02:14 suicidal. In case we think it's a one-off thing, look at chapter seven. For when, and
02:20 this is another experience, for when we came into Macedonia, we had no rest. We
02:26 were harassed at every turn, conflicts on the outside, fears within. So if Paul
02:33 himself felt depressed, went through a difficult time, I want to start out by
02:38 comforting you. If the great apostle felt that you are not alone. So yes,
02:44 today's message is a little bit difficult. We're going to look at comforting others and the message goes
02:49 to two groups of people in particular if you are struggling.
02:54 That's the principle group we're talking to. Now if you're not you're feeling very blessed. You're in a very blessed
03:01 space right now. Your life is going good. Your marriage is fine. You're not lonely. You got money in the bank. Your
03:06 health is great. There's a message for you too. Because if you're comfortable, God wants
03:12 you to comfort others. And we're just going to go into that a little bit. Let me start off by doing a prayer. And
03:18 again, if you are not local, what we try to do once a month is to encourage everyone to pray in the local language.
03:25 We are to be all things to all men. We cannot love the majority race here unless we don't understand or don't
03:31 speak the language. So join me as we pray in our native language.
03:48 Yes.
03:58 Dulu.
04:27 Amen. The text is quite straightforward to read. I want to get us into the habit of
04:34 reading the Bible for ourselves. You don't need to be a theologian. You don't
04:40 even really need a commentary. Commentaries are great. But the one way to read the Bible is to look at the way
04:46 words are repeated and then you find a structure. So you find here two words
04:51 that are brought up all our troubles. Verse four and verse eight about the
04:57 trouble. So immediately you can tell there are two sections. Now one way of
05:02 reading it is this way. Verses 3-7 is the theory. Verses 8 to 11 is the
05:09 application or in more biblical terms 3 to 7 is the is the theology of it.
05:14 Verses 8 to 11 is the experience of it. So we reading these two texts side by
05:20 side. And the way to move forward every time Paul picks up another word like comfort and suffering, we'll see how
05:27 they work in experience and theology. uh how does the word hope happens in
05:32 theology how does the word hope happens in experience then we we'll be able to
05:37 get the practical reality from a teaching of God so there are two sections here very clear and let's go in
05:44 and zero in on the first few verses but three points God the source of our
05:49 comfort suffering that comforts uh because suffering and comfort are
05:54 redemptive they bring us to the cross and lastly comforting others as body
05:60 ministry not as a ministry of a few people or people gifted on it but let me
06:05 propose to you the text is telling you comforting others is a ministry every single one of you seated here should be
06:11 involved in let's look at the verse the verse is quite interestingly structured
06:16 he says it starts off with a benediction praise be to god and then three lines are brought up father of our lord Jesus
06:23 Christ then repeated again father of compassion the two go in parallel father of our lord Jesus Christ, father of
06:30 compassion. The two sit side by side because of the use of the language and the God of all comforts. Now that in
06:36 itself is very loaded. What is this telling you? We all comfort each other. You have a child, you comfort your
06:42 child. You have someone you love, you comfort him. You see a colleague at work, you go and put your hand around him. We all instinctively comfort
06:50 people. But is how you comforting someone the way God wants you to
06:55 comfort? Let's use a simple example of kids. You know, kids are quite interesting. Uh, you see a kid, I mean,
07:01 I live in a condo, right? You have a kid and the kid falls down from his little tricycle. He he gets up, he cries, looks
07:09 around, nobody. They pause, he walks up. You can see it, you know. He walks to where his parents, his mother, and then
07:17 everybody goes around him. Suffering has power, you know. So the way you comfort
07:23 sometimes may not necessarily be the way God wants you to do it. So God tells you
07:29 he's the source of it and he layers it by saying all comfort basically comes from Christ. He centers it on Christ.
07:37 Now there's a very well-known saying the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. Few weeks ago my daughter was up
07:44 here leading worship and I sat at the back. You may not have been here. Right? If you were first service and all these
07:50 aunties will look at my daughter then they turn around and in Canton
07:59 you don't understand Cant just follow the body language then they look at her again
08:11 meaning my daughter is my clone. If you ever meet my daughter, very simple. Next
08:17 time I bring along a 16 year old girl, I I'll just say this. You say, "Yep, your daughter." Just imagine me with long
08:24 hair. Man, that's a terrible thing to say about myself. Not a very badly thing to say, but
08:31 anyway, we won't go there. Now, what am I telling you this? The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree. Meaning if
08:39 God is a God of comfort that is in his character, what does it say about his
08:45 children? The children of God should demonstrate
08:50 that character. So all of us should demonstrate
08:56 compassion not enough because we are all very capable of demonstrating compassion
09:02 but compassion that demonstrates God as the source. How do we explain this? For
09:08 example, God comforts us. How? We'll go through that in a while. And because he
09:15 comforts us, we comfort others. What happens when we comfort others? Others
09:21 glorify God. That's the biblical position. The default position for a lot
09:27 of us is we comfort others by chopping God out of the picture. Now, once you do
09:33 that, what do others do? They glorify who? They glorify us.
09:40 Sometime last year there was a big tragedy in our church and sometimes this
09:45 happens in many churches in many cases and there was this sister who really wanted to help the family went through
09:51 the tragedy and offered a lot of money offered this offer that and and the
09:56 family just basically said no I'm not interested and she got very hurt and and she comes tells me I I tried so
10:03 much to comfort them and they rebuffed me. Have you ever had that? We all had that right? Now the question you going
10:09 to ask yourself say why are you feeling rebuffed? Because innate in our nature is this. If we come to church and we
10:15 settle in and we try to help be nice comfort be kind and people reject us
10:22 we don't get these words to us. Thank you honor you're such a nice guy.
10:28 Thanks Honor. Without you I would not have made it. And we're honest with oursel. We all want to hear those words.
10:36 But if you're in Christ, you're supposed to take that verse and pull it back to God.
10:42 And how do we see this demonstrated? We see it in Christ who walked on the earth, healed many,
10:49 freed so many from bondages, and when he died on the cross, not one person was
10:54 there, completely abandoned. That's the model we look at. Why? Because Paul ties
11:01 it to Christ. We see that in verse 5. He says, "For just as we share abundantly
11:07 in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ." And
11:12 when you talk about share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, what is the main suffering of Christ? His death on
11:17 the cross. Why are we comforted through Christ? Because he was resurrected on
11:22 the third day. The two go hand in hand. A gospel- centered church is a church that comforts. So let's give a simple
11:30 example. So if somebody comes to FBC and has got what we call manic depression
11:38 or the medical term is called being bipolar, would you extend a hand
11:45 or let's make it simpler, how do you know in your midst those who struggle with anxiety, those who anx who struggle
11:53 with loneliness, people who struggle with low self-esteem, people who struggle with degrees of depression, Do
12:01 you want to say, you know what, that's not my job. Let them go find a psychiatrist who can prescribe serotonin
12:07 to them. Let them go see a therapist out there. The church doesn't get involved in this. What does the text tell you?
12:14 Church is front and center. This is your responsibility. Let's get the theory right. We go to
12:21 practical. Now, how do you do it? Because right now, you can say, I don't feel equipped. I'm not trained. I'm not
12:27 I didn't study psychology. Why? how should I help you know so let's break it
12:32 down a little bit but let's get to the fundamental root of what comforts a person and how what is the comfort that
12:39 they get from God and two the word hope is anchored in two verses verse 7 it
12:45 says I hope for you firm we know that just as you share our sufferings you also share our comfort notice is a
12:52 replication of verse five but he replaces Christ with our in verse five
12:58 is sufferings of Christ comfort Christ. Now in verse 7 is our suffering our
13:03 comfort. You notice that? So Paul is taking the sufferings and comfort of Christ and trans and lowering it to
13:10 himself. He's going to share in that. Now how is that actually applied? We find that in verse 9 because of an
13:18 incident. Uh he was depressed. He tells you why. Quite likely it was something
13:23 that happened in Ephesus in the book of Acts. And they see this happened. And here's the key word. we might not rely
13:29 on ourselves but on God. And what did God do? He raised the dead. That's the
13:35 gospel. He delivered us from such a peril and he will deliver us again. On
13:41 him we have set a hope that he will continue to deliver us. Look at the confidence in verse 10. He has delivered
13:47 us. He will deliver us again. He will continue to deliver us. So we are now seeing one word that's
13:54 coming in. The root from suffering to comfort is hope. But hope in what? Hope
13:60 that your medical condition will improve. We all pray it does. It sometimes doesn't. Hope that your
14:06 marriage is sustained. It doesn't end bad. We pray it does. Sometimes it doesn't. Hope that your business doesn't
14:13 fail. Hope that your family doesn't fall apart. Hope that that relationship
14:20 restored. We pray for that, but sometimes it doesn't. So, hope in what?
14:25 Hope in God who raised Christ from the dead and the promises that come from
14:31 that. And he tells us this in another chapter. I'm not going to read this in detail, but let me break it down. It
14:38 starts off, we know if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, or we know my
14:43 cancers may not get better. We know my marriage may not improve. We know that
14:48 all these problems may not go away. And he tells you what happens. He says, "I have another dwelling from God, an
14:56 eternal house." Go back and read that in verse six. Because of that, we are
15:01 confident and know as long as we are at home in this body, that means while I'm still suffering, we are away from the
15:08 Lord. But we live by faith. So life is not defined by my sufferings
15:15 but by my hope in the promises of God who raised Jesus from the dead. Now that's that's something easy to say
15:23 not so easy to practice because what happens when you're suffering you wake up you think about it. You go to bed you
15:29 think about it. You you you you anything you do is is layered by it. You go
15:34 through it. become so painful because the divorce is coming or you haven't got a job or things are just not going
15:40 right. You go through the days going through the motions, the pain is not
15:45 going away and you hope until that's removed you can function and sometimes it's just there and there and there and
15:51 you define life just by your problem. I think this is something we got to soak
15:57 in and Paul is saying my life is not defined by that. Look beyond your
16:03 earthly dwelling and look to the promises of God. I'll give you a a sad example and and and this is Yam Lam.
16:13 Man, is she gorgeous, you know, and she she's u
16:20 she's some she was a very well-known actress. She acted in uh Odyssey,
16:26 Chinese Odyssey. She has been acting in Steven Chung's uh shows, Steven Child shows. She she was one considered one of
16:33 the three dragon ladies in the '9s. She was and in Hong Kong TVBB uh time she
16:41 was considered one of the most beautiful women of beautiful actress of that time.
16:46 This is what in the late 80s early 90s rising star
16:52 gorgeous. She had a boyfriend who was a billionaire. Then what happened? First the mom died
16:59 then the dad died. Her first boyfriend committed suicide
17:04 and then she had an accident that traumatized so much her so much she couldn't get a job. This is her
17:13 last year. So when you put your hope in things which the world says wow they don't
17:21 last. You know now this may be an extreme example but we could replicate
17:26 this on the fact that hey I got a nice house I got a good marriage I got good health that's my hope and the Lord is
17:32 saying that can be taken I got a good family I got good husband that can be
17:38 taken so Christ says put it in me
17:43 you are mine who are you are mine and my promises
17:49 will anchor you through through the storms in life. Here's another reason why I brought up this example. Because
17:55 like most hurting people, hurting people passed through many phases to find peace
18:01 and she went to temples, she went to psychiatrist in the last years of her
18:06 life. She went to the church and one week ago she passed away at the
18:12 age of 55. And you read the Chinese press, they will basically say she has such a sad
18:18 life. It's better she passed away. It's such a sad thing to say. Is made sadder
18:24 because she went to the church for refuge. And I challenge you in our midst here
18:30 there are people who struggle. And it is the role of the church, the role of all of you who have received
18:36 comfort to give that comfort because Christ received everyone. He
18:43 received the prostitute. He received the adulteress. He received the lame. He received the leper. He received the
18:48 foreigner. That's Isaiah 41, the promise of to bind the brokenhearted. And that
18:55 that covenant is the covenant of the church. So for all of us who are
19:01 comforted, this is our role. When people like this come to the church, it is my
19:06 role and your role to comfort them. But here, let's look a little bit of if you are struggling bit through some
19:13 difficulties. Let's see how scripture teaches you to to move on.
19:18 But first we look at our identity. Who am I that the Lord of all the earth should care to know my name? Would care
19:25 to feel my hurt? Who am I that the bright and morning star would choose to
19:30 light the way from my ever wandering heart? Not because of who I am, but because of
19:38 what you have done. Not because of what I have done, but because of who you are.
19:47 I am a flower quickly fading here today and gone tomorrow. Like Y lamb, you
19:53 could be that beautiful flower that the whole Hong Kong movie industry looked at
19:59 you and tomorrow faded. A wave toss in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. You
20:05 could be like Steve Jobs who had everything and in his last years had nothing even with his family, with his
20:11 father and with his daughter. And here the promise that the Lord says, "Still
20:17 you hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm falling and
20:24 you told me who I am. I'm yours." And this morning, the Lord is saying this. Are you calling on him?
20:32 Are you calling? Do you know that you are his? How do we go through when we struggle in
20:39 bad times? Here's another example, something lighter. Now if you are depressed or not very happy I encourage
20:46 you to watch this interview show make you feel better. I watch it a lot of times was very
20:52 therapeutic. I have to confess that very therapeutic. I don't know whether that's godly thing
20:58 to say as a preacher of the church but yeah if you're not Malaysian ask a Malaysian friend they will explain it to
21:04 you. Now the most interesting thing of the sermon was at one point he gets up.
21:11 That's the thing. And that he says something to the reporter. Come on now.
21:17 You are what? Not being ah it isn't fair.
21:26 Don't we all say that when things don't go right? God it isn't fair. And when
21:34 that thing comes to you, you don't act right. like our former PM, you walk out,
21:41 then you do more strange things. You go to Facebook and give say more stranger things. Pain blinds you to doing what is
21:49 right. So Paul tells us this. So we make it our goal to please him. Whether we're
21:56 at home in this body or way for it or in simple English, we make it a goal to
22:01 please him whether I'm going through trouble or not. Why? Because verse 10,
22:07 we must all appear before the judgment seat of God. So one word is attached to
22:12 hope. Obedience. Simple example. You can choose to be
22:18 happy or you can choose to be sad. You say, "Ano, I can't be happy." But then how do you explain Paul in Philippians
22:25 tells you to rejoice again and again? Rejoice. I don't feel like rejoicing. I'm in a lot of pain. What does Paul
22:31 mean when he says you got to rejoice? I give you a simple example and here's to all married people who had fights with
22:37 their wives. What happens when you fight with your wife? Wife's not here today so I can tell it. I shared a more hala version of
22:45 it in the first service. This one a bit I'll do a more haram version. See she's not around. No, that's not true. When
22:51 you fight with your wife and couples all fight, right? And if you fight the night before or the day in the morning and you
22:58 get into the car or go to work, do you feel good? No, you don't. You go to office, do you feel good? No, you don't.
23:06 And if it was a very bad fight and you're having a meeting, do you feel good? No, you don't. It lingers.
23:13 And you go through the day by going through the motions. Now, what what is that simple observation telling you?
23:19 That fight just spot your day. Correct? All of us go through it. You can you can remove the equation of husband and wife
23:26 fighting. It could be you and a good friend stab near the back. husband and wife,
23:31 father and son, etc., etc. I have one case in the morning, you know, u wife
23:38 tells husband, I want to have a divorce. He tells me my whole life fell apart. I can't function.
23:45 Now, the spill over is this. You can't function. But what did the text tell
23:50 you? Function by what? Obeying.
23:55 So, scripture is telling you live in obedience. So get in the car and what
24:00 the scripture tells you, scripture is telling you have an abundant life, have a victorious life. Put on your music,
24:09 get in the car, go to office, have a great day, enjoy your day. Why? I'll
24:17 tell you why. Because scripture commands it. Scripture commands it.
24:24 And when you do that, things become clearer. And when you get
24:30 home at night, it's easier to talk to your wife. Now, if you don't believe me, go and
24:36 practice it. I guarantee you it works from personal experience.
24:42 Guarantee the rest of it. I talk to you privately. Yeah. You see, the mind is what we call monkey
24:49 mind. In any given time in a day, 101 things jam your brain. I got dead nights
24:56 at work. I've got financial worries. So and so caught me for this. And and and
25:01 inside you scream and the last thing you need is to be loaded with a problem. And
25:07 and in all of that, we don't hear the whispers from God. I am calling you. And
25:14 we cannot see past the storm. So let's go to suffering that comforts.
25:20 What's interesting about the way Paul structures the verses is that is a ying and yang combination. Whenever he brings
25:27 up sufferings, I put it in red. He'll bring up comfort. Whenever talks about comfort, he'll bring it to sufferings.
25:34 Go back and read it. But the verses tie the two together. It's a cause and effect structure.
25:41 Lot of us want the comfort. We don't want sufferings. But the New Testament
25:47 embraces suffering. This is something we all don't like to hear, but he embraces it. Now, this is
25:54 how the text works. If you're distressed, verse six, if your comfort and interestingly, Paul adds the word
26:00 salvation. He's talking about the cross because at
26:06 the cross, the suffering of the cross, Christ took away my sins. And then if it
26:12 is comforted, it is for your comfort. Three days later, he rose again from the dead. He was victorious over suffering
26:20 and sin. And what is Paul telling you? All your anxiety, all your pain, all
26:26 your insecurities, all your bitterness, all your thing you carry now, right now,
26:32 right here, God is saying you take that and you nail it on the cross.
26:39 That's why he's telling you now. to nail it on the cross because Christ took all of that. And what then does it do? Does
26:46 it remove the pain? No. It produces endurance. And the Greek rendering the
26:52 word produce means energy. It's an interesting word. It's like the energy
26:58 just leapt from Paul to the church. And that's why in verse 7, he wraps it up.
27:03 You share in our sufferings. You share in our comfort. In the states there's this series of statues about Jesus from
27:10 the last supper to Pilate Pontis Pilate. But what's interesting is these two at
27:16 one point the statue shows a suffering Christ and Mary coming up suffering with
27:25 Christ. And then there is the comfort of Christ. The two go hand in hand. Let me give you
27:32 a practical reality. Some people will say, you know what, I I can't be involved in the ministry of
27:38 comfort because I don't know what to say. I'm not like you, Arnold. You have verbal diarrhea. You can talk all the
27:44 time. I'm quiet. I don't know what to say.
27:51 I don't know what to do. I I'm afraid what I do would offend someone.
27:58 Notice Paul doesn't talk about either of this in comforting those who suffer.
28:04 What is he telling you? He's telling you to do something every single one in this
28:09 hall can do. And it is this patient
28:16 endurance. You see
28:21 this month has been a very sad month for FBC. The last two months we have a record number of people who had cancer.
28:29 A record number. And one particular sister who I'm very close with uh sister Magdalene who runs
28:36 my family life marriage course you know the the suffering she went through at stage 4
28:43 and I asked her you know how how do you go through it she tells me I put my hope in the promises of God and I go wow and
28:52 suddenly all my issues don't seem so big suddenly I feel very small suddenly I
28:59 feel not very worthy but then I'm energized. I tell myself if my sister can do that, what more me? Um, years ago
29:08 in school there was what we call taiko. Those of you who are not locals just to understand that means the local gangster
29:15 ta. So everybody was scared of the taiko. So I met years later the taiko in
29:22 my school and he became a disciple of Jesus. I was shot.
29:32 You understand? Never mind. Body language will tell you what happened to you
29:38 and who spoke to you, who shared the gospel? How do you understand? You know,
29:43 are you reformed? Are you Calvinist? No, none of that. You know how he came to know the Lord?
29:49 He he got married and his wife along the way quietly became a Christian. At one
29:54 point the wife's mother fell very ill and passed away and the whole family
29:60 collapsed. You know like most Chinese families things fell apart and that but the wife
30:06 was steadfast and he saw the behavior of the wife through all the conflict and
30:11 all the suffering the wife was different and he asked said why what makes you different through all this suffering and
30:17 the wife told him Jesus and so he said there must be something about this Jesus and he investigated
30:23 Jesus and he came to know the Lord. So never underestimate your suffering.
30:29 People see you. People see and people know you are going through a
30:34 tough time. People know you're struggling with depression. People know you're having anxiety. They know that your marriage is falling apart. And
30:41 while you feel stigmatized by it, be encouraged, brother or sister. The way you endure that does more evangelism
30:49 than anyone out there preaching the word of God because by that they know the
30:54 power of God because you point it to Christ. So suffering and comfort does
31:00 this by your suffering you point people to Christ because that's what Paul was
31:06 doing. He was suffering and he shared it with the church and the church is comforted because he put his hope in a
31:13 god that raised the dead. There's a small little caveat here and it says don't glorify your suffering. Uh this is
31:22 Eva Langoria uh actress, desperate housewife. She said she was bullied when
31:28 young for being ugly and in the interview she explained how she suffered. I'm going to talk about
31:33 suffering now again. Huh? suffered so much, but look at me now. I'm a successful actress. So, I did some
31:40 googling to look at the ugly Eva Longoria when she was young to see how much she truly suffered. So, here's a
31:48 picture of the young, very ugly Eva Longoria. Boy, is she hideous, man.
31:53 Whoa, you never get a date. I feel so sorry for you. N
31:58 Come on, man. Ugly. Have you noticed models always like to
32:03 tell you when I was young I was ugly. My wife watches this program called America Asia's Next Top Model. I don't watch it
32:09 but she watches it. I hear she watches it on an iPad. So let's be very clear that there you always hear in
32:15 the background this voice when I'm very young the ugly nobody like me in school.
32:21 Very very ugly. But now I beautiful I work hard to be beautiful.
32:26 You know again and again you hear it. You know the story. It's like it's like name me a successful Malaysian
32:32 businessman who didn't tell you I went through bankruptcy, I suffer, but against all odds I made it.
32:40 Now the Christians have that problem. You know you you I've been to some of these gatherings go here this guy comes
32:48 and tell you I was a drug addict. I was a gangster and the whole 45 minutes was
32:53 about his gangsterism and then last 10 minutes the Lord rescued me. Hallelujah. On your way out, please buy my book. You
33:01 know, where's the center? The person or God? The person.
33:07 God was a vehicle to share his street credentials. You know, I I made it, man.
33:13 But look at the way Paul explains it. He describes the incident first, not in gory detail. He doesn't tell you all the
33:20 horrible things. We don't even know what exactly happened in Asia. Some people think it was because of a riot in
33:27 Ephesus. We see this in book of Acts. But we don't know. Notice he keeps it vague. Why? Because he wants to tell you
33:33 this main point. We might not rely on ourselves but on God.
33:40 So sometimes especially we because man is centered on self, we like to brag
33:45 about how our sufferings are because we want to bring attention to ourselves. Let me end with this comforting others
33:51 as a body ministry. And this is the key text I want us to look at. You see, how do you comfort others
33:58 besides your example of how you endure suffering? The simplest thing, prayer.
34:07 As you help us by your prayers, I hear the apostle Paul being helped by prayers. And you sit there, you say,
34:12 "Yeah, I know this. Don't need to teach me this." And then to reinforce it, the prayers of many. So everyone understand
34:18 this. The great apostle Paul was helped by prayer. Why do you think Paul write
34:24 this? He wrote this to tell me and you if you are suffering what do you need?
34:31 Prayer. So here's one thing and I say in sincerity at the end of this service I
34:39 will stand here which I've done every time I speak and and here and in the
34:45 main service where I I I am there I I stand there the Chinese have this saying
34:57 don't understanding means no business so I I I don't say this for my ego
35:03 but What do you think are the chances? I stand here at the end of this service here and I say, you know, if you got any
35:10 things that you need to be prayed over, I'm available. Do you think there'll be Cantonese,
35:19 meaning they cue to ask me to pray over yet? Why is it when you go to another
35:25 church, people willingly come in front? Now, it doesn't have to be this. It
35:30 could be in any other way. Some people are are uncomfortable coming to the front. Fair enough. But my question to
35:37 each one of you, when was the last time people prayed over your problem?
35:44 Notice is the prayers of many. Yeah. Not the prayer of one person, the prayers of
35:49 many. In Asian societies, we suffer in silence
35:59 and this compounds, you know. So let me tell you the other way what Paul does in
36:04 in chapter 7. He says it when we came to Macedonia another incident we had no rest we were harassed but God who
36:11 comforts the doufort he comforted us by the coming of Titus.
36:16 Not because Titus had some profound deep words just because someone walked alongside him.
36:23 And then he explains not only by his coming but by the comfort you had given him. So the church comforted Titus.
36:28 Titus comforted Paul. And how was Paul comforted by the church? Simply by their
36:34 concern, their deep sorrow, and their longing. What's the difference between sympathy and empathy?
36:42 Sympathy means when I see a beggar, I'm sorry for you. I give you money. What's empathy? Empathy is walking alongside
36:49 you. And saying, I will bleed with you. I
36:54 will walk with you. I will be by your side. What do you think Paul is calling
36:59 us to do? Sympathy or empathy? Empathy. And that's the call of the church. So in
37:06 one way, it's like blood supply. You know, he has to
37:12 permeate every part of FBC, every ministry.
37:19 If not, we're going to subcontract this out to the counseling department.
37:25 Let me just give you our blueprint. I won't go this in detail but next year in 20119 we have few milestones. 13 people
37:33 in FBC have gone through training for counseling. We want to do an accountability system for all church
37:40 related counseling because sometimes counseling you can say things which may make it worse. We will
37:47 train our life group leaders and we do more training. Uh our goal is in the last column to
37:54 have three departments. A clinical counseling team to handle people with manic depression, OCD, asperes, anxiety
38:03 and we will use therapist for that. We will have a para counseling team for all of us to go through. By the way,
38:10 counseling has a stigma. If I ask you to go for counseling, what will you tell me? I'm going to go through that a
38:16 little bit afterwards. And our goal is to establish a gospel- centered Christian family life center
38:23 open to everyone. Why is this important? Because we have blind spots.
38:30 And this is my last key point. Let me ask you a question.
38:36 Uh I there are people in the church who we forget to comfort.
38:43 I throw this to you. I and and we all guilty of it and I will tell you there's
38:49 one particular group which is the most hidden
38:55 and it is a group that needs comforting the most.
39:00 But this group is the one most of us are guilty of not
39:06 comforting and is critical to the lifelinder church. You know which group is this
39:12 that most of us are guilty of not comforting church leaders.
39:19 How do we see that? Because who is in pain in this article? The church? No,
39:25 it's Paul. Here is the great apostle Paul the Titan
39:32 of the New Testament writing in two chapters two words I heard or to ex to
39:41 go a bit further I heard will you help me who comes to the rescue a therapist
39:48 psychologist a very godly man no a church which is known to be very corrupt
39:55 the corin church isn't a model church you Of all churches, the Corin church mired
40:03 in sin comforts the great apostle Paul. You see the irony there? So don't we sit
40:10 here and say I cannot do it. Now let me give you one example of this.
40:18 This is Pastor Andrew Stoken. Man, look at his build, his buff. Man, I go to a
40:25 gym. I still can't get this kind of Look at him. He's cool. Got tattoos,
40:30 good-looking wife is well, good-looking girl, family man, mega church,
40:41 got everything going for him. Early this year, he committed suicide.
40:49 The offset got everything. Three days after he passed away, his wife writes
40:54 this to my Andrew. It's only been three days. Nothing can take away the
40:60 suffocating pain I feel now. You are gone. I miss every part of you. I see
41:07 you everywhere. I replay the events of that fateful day over and over again in my mind. Wishing
41:14 I could have done things differently. Wishing I could have held your hand one more time and prayed over you and told
41:21 you how much I love you, how much I believe in you, and how God's got this, too. You were right all along. I truly
41:29 didn't understand the depths of your depression and anxiety. I didn't understand how real and how
41:34 relentless the spiritual attacks were. The pain, the fear, and the turmoil you
41:40 must have been dealing with every single day is unimaginable. The enemy knew what an amazing man you
41:47 were. The enemy knew God had huge plans for your life. The enemy saw how God was
41:53 using your gifts, abilities, and unique teaching style to reach thousands of lives for him. The enemy hated it and he
42:00 pursued you incessantly, taughting you and torturing you in ways
42:06 that you were unable to anyone. to a pastor who preached that you can go from
42:12 a mess to masterpiece. This is his legacy. And the final words of the letter, I'm sorry you were scared. I'm
42:20 so sorry you felt so alone. I'm so sorry you felt misunderstood.
42:25 I'm so sorry you felt betrayed and deeply hurt by the words and actions of others. I'm so sorry you were fighting a
42:32 dark spiritual war virtually alone. I'm so sorry you aren't able to fully get
42:37 the help and support you needed. If pastors
42:44 can commit suicide, what more it says about the us
42:49 of you familiar with a Christian author called Charles Stanley? We'll find out what happened to him.
42:57 You see, Asians bottle it inside. If you think Americans got it bad, Asians got
43:02 it 10 times worse because we we like to be stoic about it. We opponent smiles, but beneath that the family is
43:08 crumbling, the wives suffer, the children suffer. And leaders are
43:14 particularly successful because that's where the attack comes. And when it come to church, they they feel they need to
43:19 always come out and and and and put on a front to pray for people, help people,
43:25 take care of people. But behind closed doors, you don't know what they go through. So there's one word I want to
43:32 teach all of us, especially leaders. And I'm I'm not just talking about elders. I'm talking about life group leaders,
43:38 ministry leaders. This word that we we very very very
43:44 seldom practice in Asia is called being vulnerable.
43:50 It's called having the courage to say, "I heard."
43:55 Can you help me? Did you know with 100 people in your church on Sunday morning,
44:02 25% of them will suffer from a diagnosible mental illness this year?
44:07 Did you know in ABC we have bipolar cases, we have
44:13 depression cases, we have marriage abuse cases, we have trauma cases,
44:20 and they need you. They don't need you to be their therapist.
44:26 They need you to be their family.
44:32 Will you do that? Let me just say one last thing. Wife
44:39 tells husband, "Honey, why don't we go for counseling?"
44:45 What do you think the Asian husband will say? I do not need to go for counseling.
44:52 There is nothing wrong with me. You see in Asia we have stigmatized counseling that means if I see you go
44:58 for counseling you say oh you're saying something wrong with me but if Paul is saying all of us need to
45:06 heal we need to get our wounds healed and it requires everyone
45:13 God is trying to push our hardness and let a little bit of light in. And when a
45:19 little bit of light comes in, grace comes in and then there is hope.
45:26 Who am I that the eyes that see my sin will look on me with love and watch me
45:34 rise again? Who am I that the voice that calm the
45:39 sea will call out through the rain and calm the storm in me?
45:46 I am a flower quickly fading here today and gone tomorrow. A wave toss in the ocean, a vapor in the
45:54 wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm
45:59 falling. You told me who I am. I'm yours. I'd like to end with playing a
46:05 video. Um it's a short video and then
46:10 we'll all just close in prayer together.
46:18 And Lord, we remind ourselves on these words that we are yours,
46:26 held in your hands. And Lord, I'd like to particularly pray
46:33 for those in our midst
46:38 that are going through storms in their lives. Could be a marital issue, family issue, financial issue.
46:48 And we ask right now they will just hear this from the God who comforts. Who are you?
46:54 Who am I? I am yours. I want to ask all of you to stand as we just close with
47:00 just one stencil. And I I need your help. Those of you who are having a good time
47:07 in life, I want you to sing loudly because as you sing, you don't sing to
47:14 God. You sing to each other. And as you sing this, the one who needs comforting,
47:20 the spirit will work. Will you do that? Because when we worship, we don't just worship to God. We sing to one another.
47:28 And then if you sing with your heart out the one in your midst who is suffering
47:35 the spirit will do a work. Would you do that? Let's do this as family
47:54 tomorrow. to in the ocean
48:05 when I'm catching
48:17 I'm yours.
