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00:00 Sunday to have a sermon about friends when the boys brigade has been up on
00:06 stage. Boys brigade is a great opportunity for your young people to
00:11 come and make friends. So I would encourage you if you're a parent, encourage your children to come and be
00:17 involved in the boys brigade. A good opportunity to learn about friends based
00:23 on commitment to God. When you hear the word friends,
00:29 what comes to your mind? For many people, I think the first thing that would come to their mind when they
00:35 hear the word friends, if I can get this to work.
00:48 Yeah, it's on. There we go. No, that's not what the first thing is
00:53 that comes to your mind, but right now it is. Okay. And then after this we'll go ahead.
01:01 Okay. Here we go. First thing that comes to many people's mind is
01:06 you have a friend request. Facebook has revolutionized the way that
01:12 we think about friends. Some people have 600 700 friends. Some
01:18 people even have over a thousand friends on Facebook. You have a friend request
01:23 and you can add somebody very easily as a friend. Some people today might even
01:29 be like this little guy in this world of virtual reality. All of my friends are
01:34 in my computer. Well, Facebook is a great thing because
01:40 after all, as Facebook says, it helps you to connect and share with the important people in your life.
01:47 And you never know who you might get a friend request from.
01:52 And one helpful thing is that you can control and manage and even edit your
01:58 friends. And you can even choose to confirm or ignore friends if you want
02:03 to. Now this is an old figure at least two years old.
02:09 But despite over 125 billion friendships registered on Facebook, we all know that
02:16 there is a big difference between close friends and acquaintances.
02:22 So today we want to look at a real friendship, a close friendship, a
02:28 friendship recorded in the scriptures. We want to look at the friendship between David and Jonathan as recorded
02:35 in the book of 1 Samuel. And from looking at their friendship, we can see things that will apply to our life that
02:42 will help us to be a better friend. But first of all, I want to lay the background for the story that we'll be
02:48 looking at in more detail. Remember that this past month and the next couple of months, we're doing a series of sermons
02:54 from the books of 1 and 2 Samuel here in church. And in these books, David is the
03:00 main character. We've already seen how David has been chosen to be king, anointed as king. And we will see later
03:08 that David is the one through whose descendants the Messiah Jesus is going to come to earth. Jesus being the one
03:15 that will reign on the throne of David forever. But there's several other important characters in the book of 1
03:21 and 2 Samuel. Four weeks ago, we heard about the birth of Samuel, born of
03:27 Hannah, a woman who had been barren for years. And then we were introduced to Saul who
03:33 was anointed king but who lived a very tragic life full of self-centeredness
03:40 and pride being disobedient to God. And eventually he was told that God was
03:45 going to take away the kingdom from him. But in the narratives about Saul, we're
03:51 introduced to one of Saul's sons, Jonathan, who is really about the only
03:57 bright spot that we see in the narratives about Saul. Jonathan, we see
04:04 in the scripture, is a skilled leader, a brave warrior. He had been a successful
04:10 commander of troops in fighting against the Israelite enemy, the Philistines. He
04:15 was brave, honest, loyal. He was a person who would take initiative,
04:22 hardworking, committed, and he was wellliked by both his men in the field
04:27 as well as the people at large. So, in looking at Jonathan's story in chapters
04:32 13 and 14 of 1 Samuel are introduced to Jonathan. Then chapter 15, we see that God rejects
04:39 Saul as king. 16 David is anointed as king but at this
04:47 time Saul doesn't know anything about it. Now Saul has been told that the kingdom is going to be taken away from
04:53 him but he does not yet know that David is going to be the next king. So at the
04:59 end of chapter 16 we see a strange turn of events because David is invited by
05:05 Saul to come live at the palace. And it was probably at this time that
05:12 David and Jonathan became acquainted with each other. You see, Saul had been
05:18 forsaken by the spirit of the Lord. He was being troubled by an evil spirit, he
05:24 was just torn up on the inside. And it seemed like when soothing music was
05:30 played that would calm his spirits. David was a scaled heart player. So
05:36 Saul, not knowing that David had been anointed by God to be the future king,
05:41 invited David to come to the palace. Next week, we'll hear about how David
05:47 then comes to national fame as he defeats Goliath and the Philistine army.
05:53 And our story picks up right after this event. David has been suddenly catapulted into fame. He's a national
05:60 hero. Everybody knows him. Everybody loves him. Everybody respects him.
06:06 At the end of this battle with the Philistines, we see David is talking to
06:11 King Saul. And then we come into the text for today
06:17 where we look at the friendship of David and Jonathan.
06:22 As soon as David had finished speaking to Saul, the son of Jonathan was knit to
06:27 the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Then Jonathan made
06:33 a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on
06:40 him and gave it to David and his armor and even his sword and his bow and his
06:47 belt. Want to point out in this passage a few things that really
06:55 highlight this friendship. First of all, in verse one, we see that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.
07:04 What a good word picture there. Knit together. There must have obviously been
07:10 some common interests, some common values, some common priorities, some
07:16 common goals. We know they both had a deep love for God and a desire to do God's will. But
07:23 you've probably experienced this, too. You just find people that somehow you click with. Somehow you get along with
07:30 them just quite well. There's a person I can relate to. Yeah, that person I could
07:35 be a soul buddy with. There's just this affinity, the attraction that draws you together because of things that you have
07:42 in common. The text goes on. It says, "And Jonathan loved him as his own soul."
07:51 What other scripture does that remind you of? You might recall the great commandments
07:56 when Jesus asked about the great commandment said first of all to love the Lord your God but then secondly love
08:02 your neighbor as yourself. That's the type of love Jonathan had for David. Type of love that we see in the
08:10 golden rule as Jesus said as you would like other people to do to you will you
08:15 do the same to them. In other words, treat other people the way you want them
08:20 to treat you. Put the needs of the other person ahead of your desires. Be more
08:27 interested in his well-being or her well-being than your own wishes.
08:33 And then we see that Jonathan made a covenant with David. That's kind of strange language because
08:41 we usually don't think of friendships today based on a covenant. But a
08:46 covenant is more than just a promise. It's more than just flippantly saying,
08:51 "Hey, let's be BFFs, best friends forever." And then kind of ignore it later. But
08:57 this is more of a binding vow. And we will see that later that this vow is
09:04 indeed a covenant in the name of the Lord. So this friendship is grounded on
09:10 this mutual commitment to God. So, as God is my witness, they're saying
09:18 a second thing about this covenant that we don't see clearly and we don't know for sure if it happened or not. But let
09:25 me give you a background of covenants in the ancient world. We see an example of
09:31 this type of covenant in Genesis when God made a covenant with Abraham. But frequently in the ancient world when a
09:37 covenant was made, an animal was sacrificed and then they would split the carcass of
09:43 the animal into two parts. Put half of it on this side, half of it on this side. And then the people making the
09:50 covenants would stand right in the middle with the dead animal on either side. And there's a way of saying, "I am
09:57 deadly serious about this promise. and may I be like this animal if I do
10:04 not fulfill my bargain in the covenant. Now we don't know if that happened here
10:09 or not but that's the type of mentality they had when they made a covenant. It was serious.
10:16 A third thing about this covenant was we see the signs of the covenant.
10:23 Usually a covenant did have a visual reminder that was given. And when you
10:29 saw these things that would remind you, yes, I have a covenant. So probably that's what happens here in verse four
10:35 when it says Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it
10:40 to David and his armor and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
10:48 Now, for years, I did not understand the significance of verse four because I
10:54 began hearing the stories of David when I was just a small kid. For some reason or other, I was just drawn to stories
11:00 about David. Just something about that name that I really liked.
11:06 Seemed like I could identify with those stories. And so, as a kid, I had the wrong
11:11 impression. I was thinking, well, Jonathan was just being a nice rich kid. I mean, after all, his dad's the king,
11:17 and poor David, large family, shepherd boy doesn't have much. So, Jonathan is sharing his clothing and sharing his
11:25 toys, his swords, his bows, his arrows. And I can remember in Sunday school this
11:31 story being used as an example for how we should share. Don't be so selfish. Be
11:37 like Jonathan. He gave his robe. He gave his bow. He gave his sword. And I'm
11:43 thinking, "Yeah, those are neat toys. wish I had toys like that I could play with. And so I'm thinking as a boy that
11:50 this friendship was kind of like, hey, I'll let you play with my slingshot if you let me play with your bow and arrow.
11:58 And that's what I did as a kid. I did get a bow and arrow. And one of my best friends also had a bow and arrow and
12:04 we'd go out in the field and we'd have a big time. Now where I grew up, our fields did not have palm trees or rubber
12:12 trees or banana trees. Our fields are just wide open fields of grass grazing
12:18 land for pasture. So it's a great place for 10, 11, 12 year old boys to go out in the field and shoot bows and arrows.
12:24 And so I'm thinking this is kind of what David and Jonathan did. My friend and I, we'd go out in the field and we would
12:31 get at one end and hopefully no cattle at the other end and we'd see how far we could shoot the arrows and then we'd
12:39 walk to the end of the field laughing and talking the whole time, just enjoying being together. Sometimes we'd
12:44 do something really stupid. Not just see how far we could shoot it, but we would sometimes see how high we could shoot
12:51 it. And so we'd watch that arrow go up into the blue sky. No, we did not have haze.
12:58 We had blue skies and then you see that arrow slow down and start to turn and
13:03 then come hurtling down and then you had to dodge to make sure you were in the right place when the arrow came down.
13:10 Like I said, stupid but nevertheless a lot of fun. So when I hear about Jonathan and David's friendship, I'm
13:16 thinking, yeah, that's kind of like the friendship that I've got with my best friend here. Go out and play in the
13:21 field. And this thing about clothes. My goodness.
13:27 My big f my best friend, he also had clothes that he let me wear. He was two
13:33 years older than me. So he would then let me wear his used clothes after he
13:38 outgrew them. But I totally misunderstood what this
13:44 passage was about. Do you understand the significance of what it's saying here in verse four? When Jonathan took off his
13:51 robe and gave David his sword, it wasn't until years later as an adult
13:57 that I realized what's going on here. Jonathan was the crown prince, the heir
14:04 to the throne. The robe he was wearing was a royal robe. And he's taking off
14:11 his right to the throne. He's taking off his sign of royalty and giving that sign
14:17 of royalty to Jonathan. I mean to David. This is not an act of charity, just
14:23 helping a poor boy who doesn't have a lot of nice clothes. Now, we don't know exactly when Jonathan
14:29 found out that David had been anointed to be king. But by the end of our story
14:36 today, by the end of chapter 20, we'll see that Jonathan knew very well that David was going to be king. And surely
14:44 by this point, Jonathan at least knew that God had told his father the kingdom would be taken away from him. So when
14:51 Jonathan took off his robe, he is giving it to the future king and
14:58 acknowledging, I'm not going to stand in your way. I'm going to support what God
15:03 is doing. And not only does he give the robe, but he also gives his sword.
15:11 Now, David was a rival to the throne. And you just don't give rivals to the throne your sword
15:18 unless you give them the sword through their body with the point of the sword. But when you take off your sword and
15:24 give it to them handle first, that shows that you are now defenseless. You are
15:30 placing yourselves under their authority. No longer am I holding on to
15:36 the power and authority. I'm giving that to you.
15:41 So we see Jonathan was knit to the soul of David. He loved David as his own
15:46 soul. He made a solemn covenant to David. And the sign of the covenant was
15:53 this robe and the sword and the other things that he gave him.
15:58 Well, as we continue with the story, we see that David becomes increasingly popular as he's living there at the
16:04 royal palace. Then Saul gets more and more jealous. Saul tries to kill him.
16:10 We'll hear more about that in a couple of weeks. But now Saul is intent on killing David. And so he sends David on
16:18 several dangerous military expeditions, hoping that the Philistines will kill
16:23 him. That doesn't work. Saul tries himself by throwing a spirit David twice. David's able to dodge, get out of
16:31 the way. Saul's hatred continues to grow. And so then we go to chapter 19
16:37 and we see this text. And Saul spoke to Jonathan, his son, and to all his
16:42 servants that they should kill David.
16:48 Jonathan is now being ordered to kill his best friend.
16:53 The king is telling him to go kill his friend. His father is telling him, "Go
16:59 kill this person that you've made a covenant with." So Jonathan's in a difficult place. He wants to be loyal to
17:06 his family, loyal to his father, obedient to the king,
17:11 but he also wants to honor the covenant with David, be loyal to his best friend,
17:18 be loyal to God before whom he made this covenant.
17:23 But we see Jonathan delighted much in David. So what did Jonathan do? Well, as
17:30 a loyal friend, he's going to go and warn David about the danger and tell him to hide. But he's also going to serve
17:36 try to serve as a peacemaker, a mediator, try to reason with his father.
17:42 And so we see this then in the following verses. Jonathan told David, Saul, my
17:47 father seeks to kill you. Therefore, be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a
17:52 secret place and hide yourself. And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will
17:59 speak to my father about you. And if I learn anything, I will tell you.
18:05 And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father, and said to him, "Let not the king sin against his servant David,
18:12 because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you. for he took his life in his hand
18:20 and he struck down the Philistine. And the Lord worked a great salvation for all of Israel. You saw it and rejoiced.
18:28 Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?
18:35 And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan. And Saul swore, as the Lord
18:40 lives, he shall not be put to death. So, it appears that Saul has a change of
18:47 heart, a change of mind. No, I'm not going to try to kill David anymore. So, David goes back to the palace. He lives
18:55 there in the home of King Saul, but he's also living there in the home of his best friend, Jonathan.
19:03 Jonathan could be trusted. Saul could not. And so, Saul, unlike Jonathan, did
19:10 not keep the promise that he made in the name of the Lord. And we're going to see that now Saul purposely is going to try
19:18 to kill David again. He personally tries with the spear once again. David dodges
19:24 and he flees. Then Saul sends men after David to go capture him, to go kill him.
19:30 David escapes. Saul's men pursue him. And even Saul himself pursues him. And
19:36 David flees to where the prophet Samuel is. And an interesting thing happens at the end of chapter 19. As all the men
19:43 are pursuing after David and they get close to where Samuel and the prophets are, somehow miraculously the spirit of
19:51 God interferes with the situation and prevents the soldiers and prevents Saul from continuing their chase against
19:58 David. And then when we get to chapter 20, we see that David comes back secretly to
20:06 try to talk to Jonathan. And we find a very interesting conversation in chapter 20 between David
20:13 and Jonathan. David comes back and he asks, "What have I done wrong? Have I
20:18 committed a sin? What is my guilt? Why is your father trying to destroy me?"
20:24 Well, interestingly enough, Jonathan says, "Oh, my father wouldn't do that.
20:31 I'm my father's son. If he was going to kill you, he would surely tell me." But David says, "Oh, no, he wouldn't. He
20:37 knows that we're good friends, so he would hide this from you. He's definitely going to kill me. I'm just
20:43 one step away from death. And so then Jonathan tells David, okay, make a
20:48 suggestion. Whatever you say, I'll do to help you. And so then David just asks
20:54 Jonathan again, please deal kindly with me. Remember the covenant that we made.
21:02 And Jonathan says, I will be fair with you. I will tell you the truth. I will
21:07 do nothing to harm you. And if my father has decided to harm you and I find out, I'll let you know. And so David and
21:14 Jonathan come up with a plan. The plan is that David will not go to the next big feast
21:22 celebration at the palace. Now, he was expected to go. There was an empty chair for him as being one of the leaders in
21:28 the army, but he says, "I'm not going to go, but Jonathan, you go."
21:34 and judge Saul's reaction. And if Saul is angry that I, David, am not there,
21:41 then you'll know the reason why he's angry is because he wanted me to be there so he could kill me. And so they
21:48 agree that Jonathan will go and then the signal will be after the meal then Jonathan will go out
21:55 to the field. Do like I did when I was a kid. to shoot an arrow far to the end of the field and the signal will be
22:04 Jonathan said if I shoot the arrow and send a boy to get it and I say oh no the
22:10 arrow is not that far it's on this side come back this way then you'll know it's safe to come to the palace but if I say
22:17 oh no the arrow is beyond you go further go further then you'll know you need to
22:22 get out of here because my father is going to kill you they put the plan into practice Jonathan
22:28 goes and he is in front of his father Saul at the meal. Saul gets furious that
22:35 David is not there. Jonathan tries to defend David. Saul in his rage then
22:42 curses Jonathan. Curses Jonathan's mother and even tries to kill his own son
22:48 and then yells at him, "You'll never be king as long as David lives." Without
22:53 thinking, "You'll never be king if I kill you either." but just shows how messed up his mind was. And so then
22:60 Jonathan goes out into the field. He gets his bow and arrow and he shoots. And as he shoots the arrow, he tells the
23:08 boy, "Go further. It's beyond you. Hurry. Be quick. Don't stay." And David
23:13 knew, "I've got to get out of here." But the very last of chapter 20 is what we
23:19 find in the text for today. As soon as this boy had gone with the arrows,
23:26 even though they'd made this plan, they still had to see each other one more time, David and Jonathan. So David rose
23:32 from beside the stone heap, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed three times. And they kissed one another, and
23:40 wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, "Go
23:47 in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The
23:53 Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring
23:59 forever." And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.
24:07 Both friends have realized that David's life is indeed in grave danger and they
24:13 both realize that they're going to be separated and they may not ever see each other again. So, it's a very emotional
24:19 time of partying, but they can go in peace. David can go
24:24 in peace knowing that a covenant has been sworn in the name of the Lord. A
24:30 covenant of enduring friendship between David and Jonathan. But even more than that, a covenant of enduring friendship
24:37 between David's offspring and Jonathan's offspring.
24:43 They know trouble is coming. There's the possibility that war is going to break out. And if Saul is
24:50 victorious, Jonathan promises, "I will never do anything to hurt you, and I will never
24:56 do anything to hurt your offspring." And David says the same thing. If war breaks out and I am victorious, I will never do
25:04 anything to hurt you and I will never hurt your offspring.
25:10 Very strange, remarkable words for rivals to the throne because in that day
25:18 and throughout history, we see that usually rivals and their entire families are eliminated. If somebody wins, they
25:26 kill not only the one against them, they wipe out everybody in the whole family to make sure that nobody from that
25:32 family will ascend to the throne. So here, because of this deep friendship, both promise, I'll never do anything to
25:39 hurt you. I'll never do anything to any of the members of your family.
25:46 There is one more time recorded in scripture when David and Jonathan do meet. Chapter 23, Saul has been pursuing
25:55 David many, many times, many attempts on David's life. And once again here in
26:01 chapter 23, Saul has come out to seek David's life. And we see in verse 16,
26:07 Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David where he was hiding at Horesh. And
26:13 he strengthened his hand in God. He encouraged David through the power of
26:20 God. And Jonathan said to him,"Do not fear, for the hand of Saul, my father shall
26:26 not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you."
26:34 Saul, my father, also knows this. years earlier when Jonathan had taken
26:42 off his robe and given that to David and had offered David the handle of his
26:47 sword. It seems he might have known that David was going to be the king. But now
26:53 we see that for sure he knows David is going to be the king, not me. But that's
27:00 okay with Jonathan. David's his friend and he does not begrudge him any success
27:06 in life. And Jonathan also knows this is God's plan and he does not want to stand
27:12 in the way of God's plan. David is not rebelling. David is not forcing this.
27:18 David is just wanting to obey God. And so Jonathan joins with him.
27:24 But Jonathan's desire, his dream here that David would be king and that he would be second. Maybe he could be the
27:31 chief adviser, commander of the army. Unfortunately, that never did materialize.
27:38 Jonathan was not only loyal to David, but he was also loyal to his father. And we see at the end of 1 Samuel, in a
27:45 desperate military campaign, Jonathan, his brothers, and also his father, King
27:51 Saul, were all killed in battle. But up till his death, Jonathan and David
27:57 remained close friends, loyal to each other, committed to the covenant that
28:02 they had made with each other. So, we've seen a remarkable story of an enduring
28:08 friendship despite great difficulties. Well, what can we learn from this story
28:14 that we can apply to our lives? How can we have better and deeper friendships?
28:22 Well, I want us to look at four truths from this passage about friendship.
28:28 First of all, I think we can see that friendship is the plan of God. It was
28:33 definitely God's plan that David and Jonathan be such close friends.
28:40 This is how David was able to survive all of those difficult years at the palace when his life was in danger.
28:46 every day God provided a means of support for David and it was through
28:53 this friendship. It's interesting to note that at the beginning of this story that we looked at, the very first verses in chapter 18
29:01 talk about the covenant of friendship. And then at the end of this story, the very last verses of chapter 20 again
29:08 talks about the covenant of friendship. And it's like the covenant of friendship has surrounded
29:14 this entire difficult time of David's life. And I think literary literarily
29:20 that is significant to show that it was this friendship that is getting David
29:26 through these hardships. It was God's plan for this friendship to be there.
29:33 And this is not only true of this friendship. We see numerous friendships in scripture. Numerous texts dealing
29:41 with scripture. Numerous texts in scripture dealing with relationships and friendships. And we can see very clearly
29:48 that God's plan is that we as people have relationships with other people.
29:55 It's God's plans that we have friends. We can see this at the very beginning of
30:00 time. Think back to Genesis 1 and chapter in Genesis 2.
30:06 At the end of every day of the creation story in Genesis 1, we see God saying,
30:12 "It is good." And at the end of his creative work, he says,"It is very
30:18 good." And so we've heard over and over and over again, "It is good. It is good. It is very good." And then all of a
30:25 sudden in chapter two, we see God saying, "Oh, this is not good."
30:32 Now, how do you explain that? This is paradise. Sin has not yet entered into the world. Everything is perfect. What
30:39 was not good? Do you remember the story? Yeah. It is not good that man should
30:46 live alone. It was God's plan from the very beginning that man should live in
30:52 relationship with other people. Yes, a relationship, a vertical relationship with God is essential, but relationships
30:60 horizontally with other people are also essential. So God created Adam's best friend, his
31:09 only friend at the time, his wife, and they had a great close relationship with each other. Unfortunately, sin destroyed
31:16 the relationship with God. It damaged the relationship with people. We see that in chapter 3 of Genesis. And ever
31:23 since then, we have suffered from broken relationships with God and broken relationships with people. But we do
31:30 need people in our lives. We need friendships. And a word of warning, sometimes we get
31:37 so busy in our lives, we just ignore friendships or we ignore
31:44 putting in the time and the energy it takes to have friendships that continue
31:50 to develop and grow. Life is tough in the business world. get
31:56 up early, a long drive to work, a long day at work, a long drive home.
32:02 And so sometimes the friendships are the last thing that we pay attention to.
32:08 And sometimes there's a temptation to step on other people if it helps us to move up. People that are our friends and
32:15 our colleagues, then if we have a chance to move ahead of them by stepping on them, there's the danger that we do
32:21 that. But it's not worth it. Remember that in paradise
32:28 it was not good that man should live alone. In our day and age when it's not paradise, it's definitely not good that
32:36 we should live alone. We need to maintain and nurture and invest the time into those friendships.
32:43 A few mess a few months ago, a man that I know lost his wife in death.
32:49 Both relatively young. The wife was probably not even more than 30. beautiful young lady full of life and
32:56 energy got sick and died. We were in the US at the time. The only
33:03 thing we could do was make phone calls or send messages, which we did. But after we got back from the US, I went to
33:10 visit this man and he said, "My friends, my colleagues at work who
33:16 are also my neighbors, they took care of me in the time after my wife died.
33:22 Every day they would come, every day they would invite me into their home for a meal. They said, "I don't know what I
33:28 would have done without those friends." It's God's plan that we have
33:35 friendships. A second thing in this passage that we can see is that friendship requires
33:41 commitment. We see this commitment between David and Jonathan as they make a lasting covenant, as they're willing
33:49 to risk their life for each other. as they're willing to put the other person
33:54 first ahead of their needs. Well, close friendship today also
33:59 requires commitment and it requires constancy. We've all heard of fair weather friends.
34:07 In the story of the prodigal son, we see that when he went to that far land, he had a big time as long as he had money.
34:15 Probably had lots of friends. Everybody likes somebody that has a lot of money. But then when he ran out of money, there
34:23 was nobody around at all. Fairweather friends,
34:28 friendships require a commitment that will be with us even during the difficult times.
34:35 Require commitment that will put the needs and the well-being of the other person before our desires and wishes.
34:42 In the business world, we have relationships that are not necessarily relationships of friendship. In the
34:50 business world, we have user relationships, consumer relationships, relationship between a user and a
34:56 vendor. And this is always based on some kind of a cost analysis.
35:02 If I get my needs met, if I get the product I need, if the terms are good,
35:08 if the service is good, we'll have a relationship. But if I can find a better price or a
35:14 better product or better service elsewhere, I have no loyalty here. I'm going to go there. Well, in the business
35:22 world, that's understandable because you've got to be concerned about the bottom line and you've got to make your
35:27 company fly. But unfortunately, what's typical in the business world, this user vendor
35:33 relationship, that has spilled over into other areas of our life.
35:40 And now many people even enter into marriage with this user vendor relationship. Well, as long as I get my
35:47 needs met, as long as you do what I want you to do, as long as I'm happy,
35:54 unless I find somebody more attractive, unless I find somebody I like better than you.
36:02 Friendship requires commitment, not a user vendor relationship.
36:08 Beware if this user vendor mentality comes into our friendships, into our
36:13 family, into our marriage, or even into our relationships at church and what
36:18 church we attend. The user of ender relationship is really totally self-centered. As long as what I
36:25 I get what I want, I'm in. But if I don't get what I want, I'm out. But
36:30 that's not friendship. Close friendship requires commitment and constancy.
36:37 Third thing we can see is that friendship is characterized by open communication.
36:43 We see this as Jonathan and David communicated openly and honestly with each other. David telling Jonathan,
36:50 "Your dad's trying to kill me." Jonathan, "No, he's not. He wouldn't tell me." Yes, he is. He doesn't tell
36:57 you because he doesn't want you to know. Jonathan, you're not trying to hide something from me, are you? They have
37:04 this hard difficult conversation but they also are able to share deep
37:11 feelings. We saw at the end of the passage in chapter 20 where when they realized they were going to be pardoned
37:16 that they embraced each other. They wept. They were not afraid to show their
37:22 feelings. They were vulnerable to the other person.
37:28 And they did not hide their intentions from the other person. no scheming, no
37:33 plotting behind the back, but rather both were involved in mutual decisionmaking
37:39 because friendship requires this open communication. And a fourth thing we can see is that
37:47 friendship is so often based on common interests and values, common priorities,
37:53 common ideals. It was true in the story of David and Jonathan as we saw their souls were knit together.
38:00 They had this common commitment to God. Well, it's an key ingredient in
38:06 friendships today also to have something in common that just binds you together
38:11 with the spirit of somebody else. Just a few days ago, my wife and I were talking
38:16 about this various this very thing. Years ago, when I was in high school,
38:23 many many years ago, there was a girl in our cl my class that I knew, but we weren't really good friends. We were in
38:30 a couple of classes together, couple of music groups together. We liked each other, okay, but I mean there was never
38:36 any really interest there. Just just a classmate of mine. Well, a few years
38:41 ago, we found out through Facebook that this friend of mine or this acquaintance
38:47 of mine from high school now lived in the city where our oldest daughter lives. And so we sent her a message
38:54 through Facebook, hey, we're going to be in your town. Can we come by and visit? And so we did. I had not seen the girl
39:01 in over 40 years. Yeah, I was only three when I graduated from high school.
39:07 My wife had never met the lady, but it seemed like immediately there was this
39:13 bond of friendship. Oh yes, we had some thing I had some things in common. We could talk about people from the past.
39:19 We also had things in common. There she's living in the same city as our daughter, the same city where we had
39:25 lived for nine years. But more than that, we found out that this classmate of mine was a very strong Christian,
39:32 committed to God, committed to God's will, active in her church, interested in the gospel being spread around the
39:39 world, interested in what we were doing. And because of these common interests,
39:46 it just seemed like immediately there was a bonding together. My wife has only seen the lady twice, but yet there's
39:53 this bonding that came about. I'd not seen her in 40 years. But again, this bonding because we had these same
39:60 values, these same interests, same priorities.
40:06 CS Lewis said something to the effect that people whose only desire in life is
40:12 to have friends seldom seem to have any friends.
40:18 Because the very condition of having friends means that you want something
40:23 besides friends. you're interested in something besides friends. Because if you have no
40:29 interests, if you have no goals, if you have no values, then you have nothing in
40:34 common with anybody else. And if you're not going anywhere, you have no fellow
40:40 travelers. So when you have some common interest, it's so much easier to build a
40:46 friendship with somebody. Well, in reviewing, we see that friendship is the plan of God.
40:53 Friendship requires commitment and constancy. It's characterized by open communication
41:00 and it is so often based on common interests and values. Wouldn't you like to have friendships
41:08 like that today? Wouldn't you like to have a friend request from somebody like Jonathan?
41:15 Not just on Facebook, but somebody who really wanted to be your friend who was like Jonathan.
41:22 And it'd be great if we could find friends who would treat us like Jonathan treated David. Wouldn't you like that?
41:29 But wait, that's really not the purpose of the message. The purpose of not of the message is not, "Boy, I hope those
41:36 people are listening. I know there's some fair weather friends. They need to hear this."
41:44 Oftentimes in our Sunday sermons, we listen and think, "Boy, this will really be good if they pay attention."
41:51 Just last week, uh Suzanne and I were in another country, another Asian country. And on last Sunday, I preached in three
41:57 different congregations. And at the end of the very first service, the lady that was sitting beside Suzanne said, "Is
42:04 David going to preach that same sermon in the service tonight? I hope so. Those people really need to hear it."
42:12 Fortunately, Suzan Suzanne did not tell me that until much later. So, I did not was not colored by that going into the
42:18 evening service. But what encouraged me was after the evening service at supper, we were eating with a few members of the
42:24 church and they didn't say they need to hear it, but they said we needed to hear
42:29 that. And a couple of them even said I needed to hear that. So this morning,
42:36 instead of thinking, "Oh, it would be nice to find a friend like Jonathan,"
42:43 let's think more of, "How can I be a friend like Jonathan?"
42:51 After all, the scripture says, "A man that has friends must show himself friendly." So instead of thinking, "Oh,
42:57 I hope other people are listening and they'll be to me like Jonathan was to David, let's think, how can I be like
43:03 Jonathan?" Ask, "Who can I be a friend to?"
43:09 Ask God to show you and lead you to somebody that he has for you to be a friend with. Ask, "How can I be a better
43:17 friend? How can I not be a fairweather friend where I'm not only in where I'm not
43:23 interested in this user vendor relationship where I don't evaluate everything on the cost analysis? How can
43:29 I be a friend like Jonathan?" And if we ask ourselves that question, we'll realize that's difficult.
43:37 That's hard to be a friend like Jonathan. I don't know that I would be able to be a friend like Jonathan was.
43:44 And humanly speaking, it would be very difficult to be that kind of a friend.
43:49 So then we might ask, where can I get the power to be a true friend?
43:56 You see, Jonathan had the help from God. His friendship was based on a common
44:01 relationship with God and on a covenant that he had in the name of God. And we
44:07 too can receive help from God. And we can know God even better than Jonathan
44:14 did because we can come in faith to Jesus. We can come to the one who laid aside
44:20 his kingly robes to enter into a relationship with us as he came to earth. We can come into a relationship
44:28 with the one who made himself vulnerable and defenseless and gave up his right to
44:33 his own life and was willing to die for us that we might have forgiveness of sin
44:41 that we might be reconciled to God. That we might be able to have a friendship with God.
44:48 We can come to the one who made a lasting covenant with his blood.
44:55 We can come to the one who said, "I have come to give my life for my friends." In
45:01 John chapter 15, Jesus speaking to his disciples says, "I'm not calling you servants. I'm calling you friends. And
45:08 greater love has no man than this than he laid down his life for his friends."
45:16 Today we can come in faith to Jesus and experience his friendship.
45:22 Observe his selflessness, see his humility, look at his loyalty,
45:28 see his commitment, observe his transparency and his openness,
45:34 experience his love. see his concern for our well-being and
45:40 the well-being of others as he has placed our well-being, our forgiveness of sin over his own personal comfort.
45:48 And if we come to Jesus and get to know him better, then he will help us to be a
45:53 better friend. He will help us to be a friend like Jonathan.
45:58 And not only will he help us to be a better friend, he will be your friend
46:06 today. You have a friend request, but it's not on Facebook. You have a friend
46:12 request from Jesus. The one who left his royal home, came to
46:19 earth, gave his life, suffered on the cross for us so that we could be
46:25 reconciled to a relationship of friendship with God.
46:32 I would encourage you to confirm this friendship request. Come to the best
46:38 friend that you could ever have. Come to the one who offered his life for you.
46:44 You can be a friend of God and he will help you to have better relationships
46:49 with other people. Let's pray together.
46:54 Father God, as we look at the scriptures in the Old Testament about friendship,
47:00 we realize that in our own life, we are not always the friend that we
47:07 could be. We also realize that sometimes we lack the relationships that we desire to have
47:14 or even the relationships that you would desire for us to have. And Father, when we experience that loneliness and that
47:20 hurt in our heart, we're grateful that you are there, that you know our
47:26 situation, that you are concerned about us. And Father, I pray that each one of us will be able to experience a close
47:32 relationship with you. And as someone here who has never responded in faith to Jesus, that they would come today,
47:39 acknowledge him as their Lord, their Master, confess their sins, acknowledge
47:44 him as their Savior, and that through this experience, they would experience
47:49 firsthand your love and your friendship. And Father, many of us have experienced
47:55 that, but sometimes we don't pay as much attention to it as we need to. Pray that
48:01 today your friendship to us, your love for us will influence our lives so that
48:06 we too can reach out to others in friendship. Pray that you would help us to be friends to other people that are
48:12 truly friends. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
